Does anyone really judge a child by their name these days ?

[muscatmama]

I was idly browsing the internet for mention of the name that we are strongly considering for our soon-to- be born 3rd child and I was really surprised at how aggressively some people seem to dislike some names (this one in particular it seems) I know it's the internet, there are no boundaries, trolling is rife etc - but I really have never had such a strong reaction to any name - I just tend to think 'not my cup of tea' and judging by the names in my DS and DD's classes - anything goes really. I was also surprised by the amount of people, including teachers, who suggested that a child would be bullied because of their name. Surely the problem is with the bullies and not the name? What do people think - is giving your child a name that isn't in the Top 100 really doing them such a great disservice?

I have an unusual name. Well outside the top 100 names. I was the only one in our school of over 1000 pupils.

I don't think I've ever been negatively judged on my name but I certainly get asked about it a lot. How to spell it, where it comes from (it's British!) and what it means.

I'm always happy to discuss it, it's quite a nice bit of small talk when you are getting to know someone.

However although my name is rare it is a real (very old) name.
It doesn't have a made up "unique" spelling.
It isn't from a book/TV show/film
It doesn't signal a particular social class.

You can give your child an interesting name without it failing the oft quoted "High court judge test"

I quite enjoy being the only "Gruoch". I've given DD a similarly unusual old name and she loves being the only one in her school.

you can't avoid making some assumptions based on names, I remember friends from NI telling me you could tell persons religion from their name (ie catholic/protestant) and from that a whole load of other stuff would follow
very popular names like Oliver,Olivia are so common that they don't really provoke any assumption, except in the future they may 'date' a person (think Susan, Christine, Beverley)
where parents have deliberately chosen unusual names, they are signalling something to the rest of the world, maybe about their heritage or their aspirations- in those cases people may, or may not read those signals correctly. EG if I met a child called Xavier I would assume French heritage till I learnt otherwise.

i do, my heart sank when DD said the new boy in class was called Cairo.

hifi why? What did you think he was going to be like?

(By the way, one of the most intelligent, polite children I've ever taught was called Kairo - yes with a K. Shock, horror!)

I wouldn't judge the child but names are indicative of various factors.

You know the name Muhammad belongs to a male and is probably from a Muslim family, for instance.

I loved a name but didn't use it due to it being unusual and I worried about bullying. Still love it though.

And it's ridiculous to say you know what a kids behaviour is like based on a name.

Even if they DO come from a chaotic home, many kids rise above it, you know.

Jessica that's not the same as judging a child (or having your heart sink ) based on their name though. That's a fair assumption to make and probably the reason the parents chose the name. Most of us are proud of our cultures or heritage and choose names based on that. We don't expect people to pass judgement because our children's names suggest that they are from a differena background to them though!

Yes people judge. There have been several studies on copies of the same cv being considered with the only difference being the name. Right or wrong people and society do judge.

Yes people judge. There have been several studies on copies of the same cv being considered with the only difference being the name. Right or wrong people and society do judge.

No, I know Muffy - see my post below replying to that poster :)

I've come across beautifully behaved, polite and kind Madisons, Kais and Jaydens and plenty of obnoxious Henrys, Annabels and Williams to know that any judging a person by the name is ridiculous, not least because they didn't name themselves.

It's not 'right or wrong' though, is it?

It's wrong.

I don't know why you'd judge the child. If you must judge, judge the people who chose the name!

There are oodles of papers on the psychology of the first impression.

I had some training on it when I worked in recruitment, and it was about recognising it thus making it easier to discount it.

I remember one clear message was that the formation of first impressions is universal, and those who think they don't do it are frequently shown to be the worst offenders.

The only judging I do is 'ugh, that's an awful name' but I don't for a second imagine I can predict what a child called James, Peregrine, Jayden, or even Cairo is going to be like. How could I?

I don't judge the kids, I judge the parents.

my heart sank when DD said the new boy in class was called Cairo.

I don't understand that at all.

Your heart sinking that is, not the child being called Cairo.

The name thing is a bit bollocks though isn't it.

I am very traditional with names and give me Katherine over Kayleigh, Madeleine over Madison, James over Jayden any day.

Nonetheless, if someone is really wrinkling their nose and discarding a CV on the basis of Jamie-Leigh rather than Jemima then they are brainless dimwits.

Your name can (not necessarily does in all cases) affect how successful you are in life... Even if lots of MNers claim not to judge, there are plenty of people out there who can have a significant impact on your DC's life that do.

I feel quite sorry for children who are landed with names like Sonny or Buddy (can't think of female equivalents). Fine when they're at school but when they're in their forties and still called Buddy - bit cringe making!

I think it's more to do with the fact that traditional parents will opt for traditional names. Top sets will be populated by Harry, Eleanor, Thomas, Hannah and Emily. Obviously these children will be likely to go on to get the top grades.

And they're very 'white' names.

I had a lesson in this when I saw 'Mercedes' on the register and got the sweetest most well-behaved girl. She hated her name and asked to be called Sadie.

Sorry jessica my last post came across wrong - I was agreeing with you and disagreeing with the poster before you!

Bertie why would you judge Mercedes?

Spanish parents, or parents who are a bit young and daft and like holly oaks - doesn't mean the kid is going to be horrible.

Shock, horror! Sometimes poor people have nice kids!