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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Do we let our 3 year choose...

77 replies

kellyb220982 · 03/06/2016 18:33

Baby number 2 is due in September and we already have a DD who turned 3 in April. We waited until the 12 week scan to tell her and are trying to prepare and involve her as much as we can in the build up. She came to the 20 week scan and we'd explained for weeks before you didn't get to choose whether it was a boy/girl - she was still very definite she wanted a sister and it took some sinking in when we found out it was a boy. We are now over that hurdle and she's excited for a brother but is insisting we call him Jack. Whilst we don't mind Jack (I actually wanted Jaxon but DH said no way) our preference is Lewis and whenever we try to refer to him by this name she tells us he is called Jack. Shes actually telling everyone it is Jack (we also have no idea where that has come from). Part of me thinks we don't mind the name so let her pick it but DH says not...any advice??

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HoneyDragon · 03/06/2016 22:27

The name my brother gave me in the 70's is Mnet approved

Belongs to a troublesome little girl who lived in The Plaza with her Nanny and a pet turtle

PacificDogwod · 03/06/2016 22:30

Jack is far better than Jaxon; Jackson otoh is very cool

Seriously though, don't let your 3 yo make the decision for you. I think 5 to 6 months to wait for the much hyped baby to arrive is a long time for a toddler, particularly when they are then presented with a tiny mewling infant that does not really do much. I'd just let the whole name debate go, and then whenever she meets her new brother tell her his name. "Hi, sweetie, meet your brother Jack Bartholomew" or whatever.
I have to admit I don't fully understand the whole involving a young future sibling so early. But then again, we did have to sit DS1 and DS2 down and tell them that there was soon to be a DS3 when I was 8 months pregnant and they had failed to notice anything was going on….

BeckyWithTheMediocreHair · 03/06/2016 22:38

There are an awful lot of Jacks around.

2nds · 04/06/2016 00:38

Holy Cow Bathsheba? There'd have been a lifetime of bathing cats references F that! What did they give your mum during labour that made her think Bathsheba was a good name?

CancellyMcChequeface · 04/06/2016 01:17

I like Jack!

I wanted my little sister to be named Rita because I thought it was the prettiest name ever. Glad for her sake that my parents didn't go along with it! (No offense to anyone with DD Rita :) )

Smooshface · 04/06/2016 07:16

LetThereBeCupcakes ha that is quite awkward! Worst part for us is we hadn't quite settled on name, so had people going 'how is baby Sophie?' 'ummm.. That's not her name? She hasn't got one yet! '

We already know a grown up Sophie, so didn't want to use anyone's name we knew.

I wouldn't worry about this too much until they are born anyway, you might think their name will be something else entirely once they pop out!

dylsmimi · 04/06/2016 07:24

I named my little sister when I was 6 and never felt any ownership of her!! There was a choice between 2 names and apparently I decided which on her hair colour! It definitely suits her more than the other. I assume our parents didn't mind either way
Ds1 & 2 keep coming up with names for ds3 but non we like so we just say gently 'hmmm we will think but mummy and daddy will decide'
I think if you don't like Jack as much as lewis have it as a middle name it wil be nice for your little girl and I am sure she suddenly won't think she makes all the decisions in the house!!

TheFairyCaravan · 04/06/2016 07:40

My sister gave me my middle name. She actually wanted a brother called my middle name, but she got me instrad!

septembersunshine · 04/06/2016 09:03

My son wanted to call his brother 'Sir Butt Hole' and my daughter wanted a potential sister to be called 'Princess Fairy Blossom'. Both fine names but not for this baby! (they are 6 and 7 by the way). I would not mention the baby's name in front of her and just tell her what the name is when the baby is born. She's three!! Will she even remember she had a preference in 6 months/ a years time?!!

BikeRunSki · 04/06/2016 09:48

I know a teenage Maisy Dora named by her older sister, after her favourite TV characters. Maisy is not that impressed.

DS wanted a little brother. We knew we were having a girl. Did lots of "expectation management" with him. When DD and I came home from the hospital (exhausted, flu, 10 hrs labour, uterine haemorrhage, crash section under GA and more surgery 2 days later) I was tucking dS into bed one night and he said "But we are having a boy as well aren't we Mummy?".

barbecue · 04/06/2016 20:27

Jack is a nickname for John, and John is relatively unusual compared to Jack. So how about John, with the option of Jack as nickname? Probably not the best with Lewis as second name though... John Lewis

Whenwillwe3meetagain · 04/06/2016 21:05

Jack is so much better than Jaxon so yes let her choose!

minatiae · 04/06/2016 21:18

Jack is a nice timeless name. If you don't hate it I'd probably go with it. Or you could call him Jaxon with Jack as a nickname. If DD keeps calling him Jack even if you call him something else he might end up being called Jack by all of you anyway!

PacificDogwod · 04/06/2016 21:26

@ Sir Butt Hole

That is exacly what would have happened if we had allowed DS2 to name DS3!

rumblingDMexploitingbstds · 04/06/2016 21:27

Lewis Jack is lovely.

Warn ds it may end up the other way around. My DM was called a perfectly nice sensible name until her baby sister began to talk and came up with a completely random name for her that she stuck to come hell or high water until she'd brainwashed the rest of the family into submission. Sixty years later DM is still known to her entire family as Moo....

Bear2014 · 06/06/2016 11:25

If you like the name, why not? Yes she's only 3 but she's part of the family and he will be her baby brother.

soundsystem · 07/06/2016 15:53

I was allowed to choose my sister's middle name. She hates it. Doesn't use it at all, I think it's on her passport but that's it, even her degree doesn't have it on. And it's a normal, unmade up name. She holds it against me a bit (although we are close). So, um, no I wouldn't. That said, Jack is better than what I chose!

MrsJoeyMaynard · 08/06/2016 00:19

I'd only go with the 3 yr olds choice if I wanted it too.

So far DS1 (4.5) wants DC3 to be named after his favourite Thomas and Friends train (regardless of what sex the baby is).
DS2 (2.5) wants DC3 to have the same name as DS1. This is definitely not going to happen.

Flowerpower14 · 09/06/2016 15:13

My 8 year old done exactly the same and by the time she was born it had stuck and low and behold we went with it. I would try and say nothing about it for a while and by the time hes born he may well look like a Jack

BlueDove · 09/06/2016 17:48

Lewis is absoloutley lovely - it's a lot nicer than Jack, or Jaxon. Don't let her!!

insan1tyscartching · 09/06/2016 19:28

Dd1 named dd2, I'd have refused if she had picked something awful but she chose a name we liked so went with it. We thought that by allowing her to choose her name it would soften the blow of her no longer being the only girl. I'm not sure it made any difference tbh but they are pretty average sisters who are the best of friends sometimes and each other's source of irritation at other times.
I prefer Jack to Lewis so I'd let her choose but if you don't would she go with Jack as a middle name? I didn't let ds1 and ds2 choose dd1's though as their only suggestions were Annie and Clarabel.

AuntJane · 09/06/2016 20:30

Someone I know told their daughter she could choose her brother's name. She chose Seagull.

soundsystem · 09/06/2016 22:14

And is the child called Seagull?

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 10/06/2016 01:32

Definitely let her choose. It'll make her feel more involved. Plus Jack is okay not the best name in the world but it's certainly not the worse.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 10/06/2016 01:35

I remember my friend in work telling me about when she was expecting her last baby and her older daughter, said. Mummy can we call it Jesus if it's a boy. How sweet is that. She had a girl in the end though

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