What would you do if...

[andpropersteel]

Both you and DP had settled on a name that you both love, but it was quite an uncommon name at present...

Not a 'yoonique' name.
Not a 'made up' name.

Just a name that, because it hasn't been in the top 500 since the 1950s, isn't on everyone's immediate radar?

We both really like it, and can't see anything wrong with it. It carries well from tot to adult. But there seems to be some people (on the internet, not daft/brave enough to share potential baby names in real life) who vehemently hate it looking at you mumsnet , and others (usually those who've actually met someone with this name) who love it.

Our thinking is that people are way more judgey of names when they're just arbitrary, and should we use it, it'll just become our little boy's name once people get used to it and that'll be that = new positive association. Names that are really popular now, like Henry or Gabriel for example, would have been considered ''cruel'' 10 years ago, and are totally nice names now.

We have a couple of ''back up'' names but DP in particular is really saddened to have to use those and it feels a bit weird to do so since using his ''in-utero'' name.

WWYD?

Oh use it! Also what is it?

YY to Henry being considered a bit odd a couple of decades ago. I remember telling a friend at school how much I loved the name Henry as I just liked the sound, and she laughed her ass off!

Yes I think it does depend on the name involved, sorry to be cryptic but I just want to get a broad spectrum of advice before revealing (though I'm really surprised it hasn't been guessed already!). It's a nature name, (not explicitly, like Bear or Sorrel) which has fallen from being in the top 10- top 100 (1850-1950) to now not even being on the ONS list at all.

This is because, like I said in my OP, it's a name that really divides opinion when it's just a ''random name'' because it's not heard often. I'm not really fussed about whether or not people like it on immediate face value, it's more about whether people just ''become'' their names.

I knew loads of people with really very uncommon names at school and no one ever said anything awful about their names (e.g. Granville, Ingram, Doris, Harlan). I think now many more children have really unusual names (off the top of my head I know of 'Chance', 'Betty', 'Helix', 'Cillian', to name a few), so if we both love it maybe we should just be bold.

Can I also just say that I really like the names Gabriel and Henry! I didn't mean to offend, it was just an example of the more ''traditional'' names which the general-populace of internet forums weren't hugely keen on in the past (trust me I've been trawling every baby name site!) but which are now really popular and no one would ever bat an eyelid! Maybe they were bad examples: how about ''Betty'', 10-20 years ago people might have raised an eyebrow, now it's totally acceptable for babies!

Amazed at Henry being "cruel". Nobody told Prince Charles and Lady Fi, then?

Lady Di, not Fi!

BertrandRussell I get where you're coming from but there are no guarantees either way are there, I'm sure plenty of kids called Joe or Laura don't like their name either!

Read the above !! I'm pretty sure things like ''hooray Henry'' didn't really bother them that much though to be honest...

My daughter has a very normal name, not even old ladyish and you hear it fairly often (just checked and the year she was born it was in the second half of the top 200) but on the day we took her home from the hospital and were getting our car parking ticket, a lady overheard us saying her name and said "oh wow, she's the only X under 90!" We just smiled and carried on. Who cares what anyone else thinks?! It's not like we made the name up.

"BertrandRussell I get where you're coming from but there are no guarantees either way are there, I'm sure plenty of kids called Joe or Laura don't like their name either!"

Of course no. But being called Joe or Laura is not actually going to make life more difficult. Some other names just might. So why risk it?

People will always have an opinion: when it's a name you are just considering they will tell if and why they don't like it, once the baby has been given the name they will say it is lovely and have any other opinions behind your back. Go with what you like. There'll always be split opinions xx

I think more or less any name goes now.

No matter what name you put out there. You will be able to please some of the people some of the time, but. Not all of the people all of the time.
I mean dont get me wrong
I know i said. Any nsme goes now, but.
If you're pondering on Stacey for a boy. There could be problems

I think that if you love the name then that's your child's name. Who cares what other people think. Baby is born and you introduce them. If they then have the cheek to tell you they don't like his name have a witty comeback ready. You would regret naming him something you didn't truly love for the sake of the popular vote. Go for the name

Of course no. But being called Joe or Laura is not actually going to make life more difficult. Some other names just might. So why risk it?

Nonsense, Bertrand. Unless you can guarantee that a child is going to remain their entire life within a certain set of cultural, geographical and linguistic parameters, you can't guarantee a 'safe, won't stand out in a crowd' name, because these things are so culture-dependent. The parents of little Comfort or Aderinola don't think they're giving their child a wacky name.

My own name was top three in my home country for about eight years either side of my birth, and it was given to me precisely because of its ordinariness by parents who, having barely left their home county, would never have conceived that I would spent my entire adult life in a series of places where it would be exotic, weird and unpronounceable.

Also, just to add, we went with a really traditional name which we loved but also which we thought would be totally inoffensive and my Dgranny hates it! Says it's too plain! You can't win.

I'd love to know what the name in question is. Is it something like Rodney or Cedric?

According to this website, these are the top 50 boys' names in Scotland for 1950 - didn't see anything for elsewhere in UK:

John
James
William
Robert
David
Thomas
Alexander
George
Ian
Brian
Andrew
Michael
Alan
Peter
Charles
Ronald
Gordon
Kenneth
Douglas
Joseph
Donald
Edward
Colin
Hugh
Allan
Richard
Francis
Patrick
Raymond
Derek
Alistair
Henry
Daniel
Norman
Neil
Iain
Graham
Duncan
Stewart
Archibald
Stuart
Eric
Malcolm
Anthony
Philip
Stephen
Alastair
Angus
Samuel
Christopher

www.britishbabynames.com/blog/2013/01/top-100-names-in-scotland-1950.html

If it's the name you love you should go ahead and use it. Is it nickname-able like Harold/Harry, Kenneth/Kenny? That could come in handy if the child finds the name a bit of a burden.

My opinion is that if you and the babies father agree on the name then it shouldn't matter what other people think. I'm expecting my first boy and me and my husband have agreed on our 2 Favorite names and unsure how one of them will be received as it's quite linked to a TV show but we decided that it doesn't matter what other people think, (even thoughboth names are in top 100) so not out of the ordinary, child will become the name and the name become the child.

If it's not an off the wall name or a name that you wouldn't bat an eyelid at, why are you so bothered?
I tried to find names that hadn't been popular for ages, again - no Fannys or Gertrude's or anything that people could be about, but not 'usual' names. Annoyingly, a sleb named their daughter the same as ours just after and now it's been in the top 10 ever since!!
Name your child what you want. Nobody's business is it really.

Is it Clifford / Cliff?

Wait, it's not Humphrey is it?

Or Basil?

Is it Basil?

I don't think it matters either by the way. I agree that as an abstract idea people can like/dislike a name, but it's totally different once you meet someone with that name. Sometimes that person can have the biggest impact on how much you like that name.
If you and your DP like it, I think you should use it.

Colin? I know of a baby colin!

op 200 names in England and Wales in 1880

Nothing there that's too shocking. Aside from the poor sods called Ethelbert and Theophilus. And maybe Horace. And Algernon.

That's a good point Refuse , I have a very very common first name and top 10 middle name (for the time) and have also spent the majority of my adult life abroad having to correct/ignore people's mispronunciation. Even in the UK I had to constantly re-spell my name to people (even though it's the most used spelling!) and fend off people trying to shorten my name (to a hideous version that I hated).

Bertrand I could list 100 reasons but I'm not going to bite the bait, think we'll just have to agree to disagree on that.

I think I'm leaning more towards actually going for it. We live in a very culturally diverse area so it's more common to have a slightly ''unusual'' name here anyway.

Not been mentioned yet! I'm a bit unsure whether or not to now, given all the points made above.