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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Help, I think I chose the wrong name!

93 replies

MissusBea · 07/02/2016 14:20

DD is ten months old now and I have never felt quite settled about her name. DH admits that it niggles him too. When I say her name to people over the age of 50 (and some younger) I sometimes get a reaction or slightly negative comments even. I am thinking about getting it changed - is it too late?

We called her Martha, but I am afraid that its not pretty and maybe even a little frumpy (servants name?). She's a beautiful, bright little thing. Thinking of adding the name Eleanor to the birth certificate as that seems so much more elegant and beautiful (means 'shining light', name of several Queens etc)

Honest thoughts / opinions pls! Am I overthinking this? Is it too late?

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Floggingmolly · 07/02/2016 15:10

Martha is lovely. But then, so is Eleanor... If it hasn't grown on you in 10 months, though, it's probably not going to. Change it while you still can.

Alfieisnoisy · 07/02/2016 15:10

Just posting to say that I love the name Martha. It's a beautiful name and was on my list of girls names. I had a son so not needed but it was up there with our favourites.

Sinkingfeeling · 07/02/2016 15:14

I have a teenage Martha and still love the name, but you can use the Space 17 option to add a forename or change the order of forenames on a child's birth certificate until they are 12 months old. Thereafter, you can change names by change of name deed. Both v straightforward. Space 17 will be used to record the new names but the original names will still be shown.

ConesOfDunshire · 07/02/2016 15:16

I asked about projecting because I think it's important to discern whether you're uncomfortable with the name because you've had some negative feedback, or whether you are fixating on the negative feedback because you're already uncomfortable with the name. The former is a bad reason to change a child's name, but the latter is a perfectly valid one, and I think that's your current position. Eleanor is beautiful and just as easy for a young sibling to say.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 07/02/2016 15:16

Martha isn't frumpy to me. Pretty, intelligent 20 year old springs to mind.

Lottie2611 · 07/02/2016 15:20

Martha is lovely!

SnozzberryWibble · 07/02/2016 15:20

I would keep it unless you truly hate it... it's her name now... She can change it herself one day if she wants. My DS's name got some negative reactions when he was born, bit hurtful to a new parent, I think it's really rude of them and doesnt necessarily reflect badly on the name, it's just people often have a certain type of name in mind for new babies and raise an eyebrow when it turns out to be something unique and completely different from their expectations.

WanderingTrolley1 · 07/02/2016 15:23

Change it. Sooner rather than later.

TheFairyCaravan · 07/02/2016 15:29

My SIL is called Martha. I love it. We've known each other since school and I always thought she had such a beautiful name in amongst the midst of 70's common names.(I have one and would have loved a different name.

It's not a frumpy name imo. My SIL is quite beautiful, has her own sense of style and doesn't follow the pack. Her name really suits her.

OhHolyFuck · 07/02/2016 15:32

Someone has already said it but it reminds me of the Tom Waites song too - it's a beautiful name, classy and a little bit different without being unheard of, I think it's lovely. I'd love to know a baby Martha!

tsipka · 07/02/2016 16:46

As soon as I read your post I went to add Martha to our list of potentials, because it's so completely brilliant. But then I remembered that I know a Martha and it'd be weird. Bollocks.

Atenco · 07/02/2016 17:43

I am well over fifty and love the name Martha. Eleanor is nice too of course and the important thing is that you and her father are happy with the name.

Keeptrudging · 07/02/2016 17:51

It's a lovely name, I wouldn't change it just because some people have put you off. IMO it's not particularly a 'baby' name, but one that is lovely as they grow. I know a 10 year old Martha, it really suits her, not frumpy at all. Call her Eleanor and next thing you know it's shortened to Ellie and she'll be one of many (hundreds), and her name will be as dated as Kylie and Britney when she gets older (no offence to anyone).

BackforGood · 07/02/2016 17:56

I too am over 50 and like the name Martha

There's a lot of names on here I don't like, and Martha certainly isn't in that category.

However, if neither you nor dh like it so many months in, then it's better to change it now than let it go on and on. (I have no idea on the 'rules' or how you go about this though, sorry).

AliciaMayEmory · 07/02/2016 17:59

I love love love the name Martha! But I know exactly what you mean when you say you haven't settled with her name. I felt like this for the first 4 years of my DDs life! She has a very classic name that has a good few options shortenings and nns, but I felt that her full name was not her name and was too formal and grown up for her, IYSWIM! Now she is 9 and she loves that she can have so many names! She uses her full name when she's dancing and performing as she says its her confident performing self, and she likes her playful nns that her friends and family give her. I have grown to love her name over the years. She has the younger nn at the minute, but has already decided what she wants to be known as when she's at the high school!

Have the reactions of others shaped your view of her name, or did you have doubts before? There will always be someone who has something to say about your name choice.

If you don't want to formally change it, I know of 2 people who go by names that are not on their birth certificate! But you do have the chance to change it whilst she is so little.

Good luck, OP, I hope you come to a decision that you are all happy with.

AliciaMayEmory · 07/02/2016 18:01

Gosh, sorry for my waffle, OP! My post was no help at all!

Foxedme · 07/02/2016 18:05

It's a gorgeous name. I taught two Martha's, years apart, both of them were lovely. I really like it. There are billions of Eleanors and Ellies....!!!

DorothyGherkins · 07/02/2016 18:06

I do like the name Martha!

I had two girls, many moons ago! Choosing names was difficult, and both times I felt the names sat awkwardly, and sounded wrong when I used them. However!! They sort of grew into their names, and I cant imagine having called them anything different now. They suit who they are, and sound like the nice adults they have grown into. And both girls have told me they really do like their names. Maybe this might happen to you and your family? I do think you have chosen a really good classic name.

shutupandshop · 07/02/2016 18:08

Change it before it is too late

Ham69 · 07/02/2016 18:11

Don't change it, she's still so young. I felt uncomfortable calling my DCs their actual name for a longtime. They just looked like babies and didn't 'grow' into their names for ages. Martha is gorgeous. Eleanor is pretty but very popular and not as obvious to spell. I'm sure your DD will really suit her name the older she gets and you will love it too.

SlowFJH · 07/02/2016 18:16

You should change a child's name immediately and whenever you feel it no longer reflects your own evolving tastes. Friends, family and the children themselves will only respect and admire you for this in the long run.

Jw35 · 07/02/2016 18:18

Martha is a lovely classy name!
Eleanor is also lovely (I'm bias as its my sisters name and may use it myself)

Personally I wouldn't change a name after 10 months! My dd definitely knew her name by then, it would be a bit confusing all round. What if you then regret Eleanor?

ifcatscouldtalk · 07/02/2016 18:26

Names are tricky. I chose a name that everyone was a bit meh over. Its a name that seems to of gone out of fashion & never come back. Its more common amongst people my age not my daughters. If you feel that the name is wrong then maybe change it but dont do it based on other peoples reactions. Names like martha are very grown up sounding to me, but often people do grow into their name. I personally prefer it to eleanor but it just a personal opinion. It has to be what you want.

CwtchyQ · 07/02/2016 18:32

I love Martha. So lovely. I imagine a bright, charming little girl.

I would leave it personally, because it's a lovely name, but if you feel strongly, change it.

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman · 07/02/2016 19:00

I am over 50 and I love the name Martha. I think it is timeless and will grow with her, it is a name that sounds good across the ages and stages of life but if you don't like it, change it now before it is too late.

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