Polite ways of not answering the "What baby name are you thinking of?" question

[goodnightdarthvader1]

Apologies if this has been asked before. I'm expecting PFB in 2 weeks, and have noticed an increase in people asking what name we've "chosen". I try not to answer by saying "Oh, we have a couple in mind..." and change the subject, but twice recently I've had people persist and ask what the name is, so I've had to bluntly say we're not telling people. Is there a more polite way to deflect and shut down the question?

I tried to Google, thinking there would be loads of articles about this but can't find anything...

Say "oh I don't know. We're waiting to see who it is and what name will suit him/her"

We pick very unusual names so now I just jokily say 'it's a secret' and people usually say 'I can't wait to hear it'! I've never had anyone persist. Why do people want to ruin the surprise?!

Tread you can't plan for idiocy like that. As it is, my DH has a very unusual surname that doesn't really lend itself to rhyming. Her initials will be SOP though but I think she can live with that. I know someone whose initials spell DRAB.

Clytemnestra IS a real name, Wife of Agamemnon ;-)

Just say with a very straight face that you don't believe in imposing such a decision on your child and will wait until they are talking and can choose their own.

Just say it's a surprise!

People just like to know, it adds to the excitement I think.

No need to get wound up by it!

Clytemnestra is pronounced Cl-eye -tem-nes-tra, with the emphasis on 'nes', as far as I know.

You could suggest that you are going to do this and have some real fun?

www.telegraph.co.uk/news/9028479/Couple-raise-child-as-gender-neutral-to-avoid-stereotyping.html

Ha, I'll go with "It"

Clytemnestra sounds pretty

We have a Classical Greek name. Most people love it, some loathe it, I don't care because we love it. I learned in that pregnancy never to reveal names before baby is born. People can be really bloody rude about the name you have chosen when you're pregnant. It's harder to be rude when confronted with an actual baby and 'this is their name'!

I don't think TheNewStatesman was being rude.
I have seen it happen, two both intelligent educated people with the unfortunate - god knows why they didn't deepoll surname Dick. When they announced their PFB was a boy and he would be called Isaac. Thankfully their close friends pointed out the obvious to them, they were shocked and just hadn't seen it, been so in love with the name they just hadn't put it together.
It does happen, and I think that's all TheNewStatesman was saying.

I never said Statesman was being rude.

I'm sure it does happen. However it's not in this case. And my DH's surname thankfully isn't anything rude, or rhymes with anything rude.

We have a few in mind but we'd rather not tell anyone because ..... Should suffice.

Poo I've tried that (see my reason up thread) and people laugh / gasp and say "how awful that someone would say that... So, what's the name?"

"Zhivago for a boy, Lupinalia for a girl."

Rinse and repeat

I told people DC1 would be George or Elinor. Actually wasn't planning to use either but it kept people happy.

She was named something unusual then but popular now

"when we suggested it to people, people pointed out problems of the kind that made me slap my hand to my forehead and say, oh my GOD, I am glad someone pointed that out to me."

Not comfortable giving details that could possibly out me... but things I have seen are:

Names which it turned out people had very different ideas on how to pronounce... or which tended to get confused with other names
Names which sounded fine with the surname until it was pointed out that a common nickname wouldn't sound good with the surname
Names which have dodgy connotations in other English-speaking countries (Jemima is not a great name to have in the United States, for example). Or even in another language which is widely spoken in the parents' area.
Names which the parents thought were very unique and unusual but it turned out that they were trending and everyone else was using the same name

The trouble is that if you have to change a name later on, it is inconvenient and a bit embarassing, which is why most people prefer to run it through other people first.

I see, thank you. Well, we told probably about 10 people before the drug addict comment, but no one pointed out anything obvious.

No language issues in our area. No nicknames / shortenings available for her name. I think we're good! :)

We refused to tell anyone and unfortunately one of our friends told us at length on a number of occasions how much she disliked her nieces name but obviously couldn't tell the parents that. She was a bit mortified when we announced the same name...

So OP what name are you thinking of?

I do think there's sense in running it past a trusted friend, in case there is a connotation you hadn't thought of.

Im shocked to be honest you have to ask others how to answer this very easy question.

Simple example....

"We are not sure yet, we have a few in mind".

Oh, Flat, are you shocked? Maybe you should RTFT. Including the OP again since I'm not sure you took it in properly the first time.

Hippy, as I mentioned up thread, we've told about 10 people.

Oh yes the constant "have you picked names" questions.....
I just answered straightly - yes, but we're not saying. Most people were ok that's fine, some asked why. Simply we didn't want anyone else's opinion to influence our choice. When your pregnant everyone has an opinon, but once the baby's born all you get is "that's a lovely name"

Yes I have read the OP again.
You say you have googled this and cant find anything Are you surprised?
Oh come on. Its not hard. How are you going to cope with a baby if you simply cannot think of a way to answer a simple question or get people off the subject.