Still not happy with name

[LuckymummaOf2]

Hello,
I have posted a few times and keep thinking I am ok, but I am still not used to DD name and she is 6 months. I have good days and feel ok but this doubt comes back. I have tried hypnotherapy to get rid of the anxiety and seen the doc and councillor incase it's just anxiety fixing on this - but I feel fine otherwise so not sure this is the case.
I am not 100% on an alternative either, so worry about changing it too. It's eating me up feeling so unsure. I feel unconfident using her name and she deserves a name I truly love. Her name is violet and I also sorry and have read that people hear 'violent' as the words are close which I never realised prior to namingf her. Really not sure ho to overcome this.

Any advice gratefully received.
X

Violet is a beautiful name, it would certainly be on my list if I was having a DD. I too had terrible anxiety about my DS2 name, we switched it when he was 3/4 weeks old and then even changed his middle name when he was christened too. It was an awful time, I obsessed about whether I'd made the right choice daily ... it really took over at the time and it was ALL I could think about which took my focus away from my gorgeous son ... which makes me angry now. I'd say it was after about 8/9 months that I started to feel better about things, please do DM me if you need to

I think the name is beautiful - it was on my list too. But that's not the point; you are distressed about it.

Have you thought about trying to imagine and focus on the wider connotations of the name Violet?

It makes me think of beautiful, fragrant wild flowers, Parma Violet sweets, Creme de Violette liqueur, old fashioned posies that were given as a symbol of love etc.

There's a very beautiful variety of violet flower called 'Freckles' that I love- have a Google. Maybe you could plant a few violets in your garden and see how that goes? The white ones will naturalise over time.

I was never sure about my DD's name n am still not sure - she is 15! Chose it in a fog n shock as she arrived 7 weeks early. I do like it, I just don't love it although I love her beyond words. She suits it I suppose n she likes it n it's a bit late to try n change it now lol. But it has just never seemed special n sparkly enough for my beautiful girl?

I think Violet is a lovely, cool name but if u don't feel the same then change it, OP. Don't feel bad, just get reading those baby name books for an alternative n do it as soon as u can. The only other choice is to actively close the chapter mentally, stick with Violet n work hard on turning ur view on it in to a positive one.

for u, I kno it's not easy.

I have a two year old who I call a different name every second day! I regret the name I gave her and call her by her middle name. However now her middle name has soared in popularity and that puts me off it. To be honest if I could go back and re-name her I'd choose something entirely different from both her first and middle names. I wonder too will I ever feel happy about her names. Our families refuse to call her anything except her given names, we sound like idiots when we call her the middle name in front of them. I have t make up my mind soon though for once and for all. At the moment she answers to both names but she deserves her own name. If I was you, I'd change it now if you aren't entirely happy with your current choice.

We had some naming anxiety with dd, mainly I think because we were convinced she was a boy and spent months thinking of potential boys names before settling on one we loved. And then she was a girl and so she got the girl's name we had lined up for ds 16mths before. She had a difficult birth too which didn't help but for the first few weeks we weren't at all sure about the name.

She is 14 now and we still mostly call her nicknames, but now it's just from affection, and she uses her full name for school and other official things.

Nothing wrong with using a nickname! Nicknames are great :) Especially with a name that perhaps sounds a bit too grown up for now (which might be where Baby Violet comes from) but will grow up with her really nicely, better than many of the more cutsie names around at the moment.

If you really hate it, then you need to change it while you still have the chance OP. Your DD is young enough and all your friends/family will just have to adapt. You will just have to matter of a factly say 'this is xxx' now and have no further mention of her previous name.

Personally, I love my son's name and couldn't have called him anything else. That's why I think it's so important that you have a name you love for your child.

If you decide to keep Violet, then maybe think about some counselling as that could help.

I think you are finding it hard to think straight because your Dd is now Violet and that is what she is known as. Try and imagine baby hasn't arrived yet, would you like the name Violet or is there a name you prefer.

If you would make the same name choice again then I would put a line under it and stop thinking about it. The overthinking may be more of an issue than the name.

If however you wouldn't choose Violet if you could go back in time, then I would definitely change it now. I think all the uncertainty surrounding the name has to be addressed one way or another now.

My dd2 name is considered marmite like and I had doubts in the beginning as to whether it was too strong for a baby and I'd hear sweet pretty names and think have I made a mistake. But babies are babies for a very short time and my little girl has grown into her name. Can you maybe imagine your dd as a child/teenager Violet?

Just want to point out that, as a pp pointed out, if you change her name (up to a year) the new name does appear on the birth certificate but her old name will also still show on the long certificate so she will, as with a change of name deed, know her name was changed. Not a problem but worth knowing.
Lots of people do it and it is an extremely easy process up to one year after the original birth registration.
Violet is lovely btw

I think sometimes the names we choose seem a bit formal for a tiny baby, that's how I felt with my dd's name, perhaps Violet is similar? I called her all manner of nicknames as a small baby (Lettie, Vi?) but over time, the full name crept back in so now it doesn't seem odd at all. Full names are often 'too much' for babies but very babyish names are not so great on older children- which is why nicknames often endure, I guess!

luckymummy, I'm so sorry to hear that you are feeling like this. Violet is a beautiful name. You chose well.
I know that when people say that it doesn't makec much difference though.
I fretted and obsessed over DD's name for over a year. I ended up in counseling and was told it was postnatal anxiety. The counseling really helped. In hindsight my anxieties were tied up in the effects of DD's difficult birth too. It's interesting to read what peachypips said about name anxieties being quite common with postnatal anxiety. If you do think there are other underlying issues, make sure you seek help if you need it x