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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

What problems might arise if our child has a different surname to its parents?

48 replies

Steve12345 · 15/04/2015 19:04

My wife took my surname when we got married but would like her maiden name to be included in our child's surname i.e. double barrelled. Our child is due in August.
I'm open to do doing this but would like to know if we are opening ourselves, or our child, up to any unforeseen hassle further along the line?

Has anyone got any practical examples of this causing a problem/hassle?

OP posts:

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SurlyCue · 15/04/2015 19:07

So you are both smith and the child would be smith-jones or jones-smith? Why do you think that would be a problem

BrieAndChilli · 15/04/2015 19:08

My friend is miss smith and her partner Mr Jones and the kids are smith jones. They are getting married next year so not sure f they will all become smith jones or not

shakemysilliesout · 15/04/2015 19:10

Not a problem but unusual and feels a bit unnecessary to lumber child and not yourselves with a long name. Also when child marries what if their wife wants her surname included in a double barrel? That's a debate for your child in the future.

Becles · 15/04/2015 19:11

No problem.

I know of a couple who adopted 4 and 7 year old siblings. The kids have kept their totally different double barreled biological surname rather than the adoptive parents'.

Legally binding 'parents' trumps cosmetic naming. Otherwise there would be issues with mum's and dads around the country with differing names to their kids.

18yearstooold · 15/04/2015 19:12

My dds have their father's name so flame me it's never been a problem

SophyStantonLacy · 15/04/2015 19:12

All of my family, practically, have done this. It's fine. Some people eg school might assume you are mr smith-jones instead of mr smith but that is the worse it gets...

SurlyCue · 15/04/2015 19:14

Also when child marries what if their wife wants her surname included in a double barrel? That's a debate for your child in the future

Answered your own question there!

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 15/04/2015 19:15

I know loads of couples, married and unmarried, who have their own surnames but whose children have double barrelled.

Tattiesthroughthebree · 15/04/2015 19:18

I kept my maiden name as a middle name when I got married, and then we used my maiden name / middle name as DC1s middle name. Much easier than having different surnames.

Kittykatmacbill · 15/04/2015 19:21

The parent with the different surname will not be able to take them out of Switzerland (possibly into too). In all seriousness it may cause issues taking them into and out of some countries.

base9 · 15/04/2015 19:24

It'll be fine, but would make slightly more sense if your dw had kept her name. Still, should not cause any problems although you may need to explain it at times. Tiresome but nothing that should stop you.

SurlyCue · 15/04/2015 19:33

The parent with the different surname will not be able to take them out of Switzerland

The parents will both have the same name. Like smith. The DCs will be smith-jones or jones-smith.

TheGirlFromIpanema · 15/04/2015 19:40

I have two dc. We each have a different surname.

No problems whatsoever with any travel arrangements ever.

No problems at all in fact although sometimes school might refer to me as Mrs one-of-dc's-surname.

RL20 · 15/04/2015 19:49

Interesting thread. Sorry to barge in, but what are peoples take on double barrel surname of a child who's parents are together but not likely to get married? (Just not interested in the whole marriage thing, that's all!).
Baby due this month, me being smith him being jones, baby will be smith-jones but I will remain smith for the foreseeable future.
Will there be any problems or anything there?

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 15/04/2015 19:51

I kept my name but ds has dh' name - never been an issue is 14 years.

expectingno2 · 15/04/2015 19:54

Not able to get in or out of Switzerland? Cant say I have ever had that problem when passing through the country with difderent named children - why would that be?

AnythingNotEverything · 15/04/2015 19:57

DS and I have different surnames. We've travelled in Europe (inc Switzerland) with no problems, but in Getmany last summer we had to explain our relationship at passport control, both on the way in and out iirc.

The parents with also find they get called Mr/Mrs "child's surname" a lot. This can be annoying but isn't really a problem. If I send cheques to pay for stuff for DS (school trips, holiday clubs etc) I have to put his name on the back or else they wouldn't equate my name with his IYSWIM.

StaceyAndTracey · 15/04/2015 20:05

It's never been a problem for us . We have different surnames from each other and the children have both . My husband didn't want to change his name when we got married .

No one has ever asked at passport control or anywhere else

As others have said , the school will call you Mr / Mrs smith jones . Unless you tell them that you are Mr and mrs smith . I don't bother .

Lost of parents have different names to their kids eg step kids, kids from a previous marriage . It's no big deal, it's the 21 century ,no one cares if you are narried,single, whatever .

Op , if you are worried, why don't you change your name to your wife's name, then you two and the kids can all have the same surname ?

f1fan2001 · 15/04/2015 20:25

I have a different name to my daughter. I have been advised to carry her birth certificate so I can prove she is my daughter when going through passport control both in this country and abroad.

I was also advised to carry a letter signed by my partner saying I had his permission to travel but I believe this would also be the case if we were married and had the same name? German passport control also wanted me to carry a copy of his passport as further proof the letter was legitimate!

SmokyRobinson · 15/04/2015 20:38

Same as fan here...i have a different surname to my dds and was advised to take birth certificate and letter from my partner when travelling on my own with them. I have had to show it at passport controls a few times. (But travel twice a year on my own with them)

But, as your child will have part of your surname, it might be more straight forward for you.

Personally I would choose the simple option and go for the surname you both have, but don't know the reasons for preferring the second name to be added of course.

qumquat · 17/04/2015 13:31

In Spain everyone is double barrelled taking 1 name from each parent. So parents and kids only ever share one of their two surnames, so you shouldn't have any problems travelling to Spanish speaking countries! I can't see a problem my dd and all my nieces and nephews have two surnames Spanish style. I'd never change my name and I'd hate not to share a name with dd.

IssyStark · 17/04/2015 13:37

I have been stopped by the Police when flying back into the UK with my son who is double-barrelled (my name and DH's name) even 'though half our name matched!

As to whether you get stopped it will all depend on whether the Police are having a crack down or not - whenIi was stopped it was because they had been an increase on child abductions by family members in our area (think acramonious divorce where one parent flees with child abroad) and they were just stopping everyone who didn't have exactly the same name as the child they were accompanying.

StaceyAndTracey · 17/04/2015 18:32

Because divorcing couples never have the same name as their child ?

base9 · 17/04/2015 18:43

Border control may want to see permission from the absent parent whether you share the same name or not. Ditto birth certificates. Apparently even married people with same name sometimes try to abduct their children...

StaceyAndTracey · 18/04/2015 05:21

I'm confused

If a man called john smith is going through border control with a child called jane smith and an woman called Mary Jones - how do they know that he's not abducting the children , along with his accomplice Mary Jones ?

How do they know if Mary is the childs mother or not ?

How do they know if he has The childs mothers permission to take the children out the country ?

Are you saying that border stop and question every family , unless they consist of two adults of the opposite sex and with the same surname as all the children they are travelling with ?

I don't know of anyone this has happened to and it's never happened to us , although I fully accept that I've not flown to every country in the world .

OTOH,DH and DD were stopped in by US border control, because they look different . Even though they have the same surname .

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