tricks to make husbands like your names?!?!

[crazycatlady82]

or do I need a magic wand to achieve this?

If you figure it out let me know!@ suggest something awful to compare to. I think there is a lot to be said for familiarity. ..put the list on the fridge or somewhere

My husband was adamant that he hated my favourite name, Daniel, because he worked with a horrible guy called Dan that as a teen. Dominic was also ruled out because our surname has a "Nic" sound in it. Waaaaaaaaa LOVE Dominic.

Yet we still eventually came up with a name we both love. Be careful because how would you feel if he tried brainwashing tactics on you? My DH wanted to call our son Waliea (it is a beach) and other very special names!

Depends on the reason for objection. DH rejected lots of my girl ones for being too unusual or "old lady" first time round, thankfully we had a boy.

For dc2, I'd made sure I'd talked a lot about little ones who were friends with dc1 with "old person" names to start making them seem more normalised to DH, found celebs/actors/writers with the names I liked and dropped them into conversation (making them seem more normal again), then added some very crazy names to my list, making my old ones seem more normal again in comparison.

If it's because he hates someone with that name, try finding other with that name so he doesn't just associate it with the person he doesn't like.

Otherwise, you might have to come up with a new list.

how would you feel if he tried brainwashing tactics on you?

This.

You just keep on suggesting names till you both agree on one, very unfair otherwise even if you are the one giving birth!

Actually if you're not adverse to emotional blackmail waiting until your husband has watched you laboring and giving birth is usually the ideal time to insist on a name!

I'd want my husband to completely agree on a name. I'd be massively pissed off if he made such an important decision whilst being dismissive of my opinion so wouldn't feel it was fair to do it to him.

My plan is to smile and "consider" compromise names etc. When DC is born I can IMMEDIATELY say "DC looks like XXX." This may not work, DH gets some sort of pleasure out of saying no to me! I can but try.

I'm glad someone else had posted this as I posted a similar thread a couple of months ago and really got slated for it!
People jumped at me saying that I shouldn't 'force my partner into liking a name' or 'fall out with him about choosing a name' and that it should be a 2 way choice.
Of course it should, but it's not always that easy!
In my case, my partner isn't actively suggesting any names and is just dismissing the ones I like. In one case I mentioned a name and he didn't say that he didn't like it, so I assumed it would be that and got really attached to the name. He then turned around a few weeks later when I mentioned it in company, and said he hated it and it 'doesn't even go with his surname'!

So I have now chosen to give up and wait until nearer the time (5 weeks away!) or until the birth!

Good luck

RL20 I think I have a husband a bit like yours...

My DH says no to all suggested names but can't suggest any names himself. Occasionally he comes up with something ridiculous and says 'I just said that to wind you up - hahaha!'

So, I continue to ruthlessly manipulate, persuade and trick him into agreement of one of 'my' names!

When he gives me a serious suggestion I will seriously consider it.

Also he has chosen Alexander for a boy after every male in his family for yonks... Currently at Christmas there is Alex snr, Alex jnr (my niece) and Alex (our potential son) flipping ridiculous!

I am all for the - I pushed it out, I get to name it strategy...

OP - if your DH isn't offering any suggsetions, just saying no to yours, then I think you need to tell him that you are running a name list. Your top favourites are X, Y and Z. He can tell you which is his perference of those but if he wants to reject one off the list, he has to give you an alternative for the list.

If he doesn't give you any names, pick the one you like the best, then when you have your new baby in your arms, smile and say "hello XXX". And see if he wants to correct you after watching you go through labour. If he says then "I don't like XXX" point out that your baby is here now, and needs a name right now, what name does he want? (not just "not XXX" but "I want to name him/her YYY").

Some poeple have a bad habit of just saying "no" to other people's ideas, without bothering to do the work to come up with ideas/plans of their own, not just naming babies, but in lots of walks of life. I've found the best way to deal with them is to take away the right to say no without offering another idea/plan in place of the one they are rejecting.

Re the Alexander issue, can you suggest that he needs to chek with BIL and SIL that they won't be upset that you are goign to name your child effectively the same name? That you'd hate to cause an argument so he must have that chat in advance, most people would be upset to have two cousins with the same name, and you won't agree unless he's 100% certain noone will be upset at you... then pick a fabulous middle name and closer to, suggest that it might be 'easier' if they are known within DH's family by their middle name. Then just keep introducing to everyone DS by middle name....

I like your approach, Mary.

I kept my names right till the very end. We'd "decided" on others but as the time got closer we started questioning them, were we sure etc? About three weeks before my due date I called him at work to suggest ds's name and he went for it straight away, same with dd. I got both the names I really wanted .

We had a very democratic process for naming the twins that involved a shortlist of 20 names, then I, DP and DS voted on them, on categories like meaning/liking/sound/goes well with surname/good nickname etc. Some categories got more weighting eg liking. Dead scientific.

Then I gave 10/10 to my 2 favourites and 0/10 to the others and, given I made up 33% of the electorate, and the dullards that are my DP and DS HADN'T THOUGHT THINGS THROUGH and were giving everything 6/7/8, mine won .

Maths is your friend.

Well i dont know, I need tricks. My husband has firm old-fashioned belief that it has to be a name after someone from the family and is very hard-headed.

There are no pretty names to choose from and on his side of the family the names are very etnic what I dont want.
I have tried to come up with different variant of a family name but exhausted my options.

Yep birth! Particularly if it's not smooth sailing, you'll get whatever name you like I promise

I just overrule

we had "agreed" on a name this time but I got my own way in the end! (having a DS who was a bit obsessed with the name I love helped a lot! and I didn't even have to tell him to do anything! )

DH's Dad said something really sweet today - he said there is only one person that chooses the name and that's me because I have done all the hard work!

aww

Thank you for all your comments and suggestions. I think we are starting to do better on the name front now too!

xxx

Mary your approach wouldnt work in my family. Before having DS I asked her if she was ok with me naming DS after my Dad. She was pregnant at the same time but 6 weeks behind. I gave her the option and rather than be honest she said I should ask others in my family so I did. No one had any objections so I went ahead. Now she has ds2 and names her son the same name as my son. I dread to think what would happen if my brother has a boy too as he has now decided that he wants that name too if he and his wife to be were to have a boy.

So, 3 cousins all with the same name. Thank heavens they have different last names as that's what they will be called at the dining table.

Oh and OP I was lucky that DH made his own list of names and we had one name on both lists in common. We went with that and I got to pick the middle name. DH picked the middle name for Ds. I thought it was only fair to keep it equal.

Now if we have a 3rd and a 4th I will be really struggling with picking names. DH loves Karoline and I just can't.

Not sure how relevant this is to you but, I think the earlier you put an idea out there, the longer there is to come around to it.

I had known for many many years that I wanted my daughter to be called Ottilie. 1st DC was a boy but before we knew that I put Ottilie out there for a girl, and DH only wanted it as a middle name.

With DC2 I still put the name Ottilie out there, and of course with the name game you tend to repeat names many times over, we didn't find out til 29 weeks that DC2 was a girl. In that time DH had come around and we agreed that would be her name. Try and put it in different contexts, i.e having to tell them off, shortening it, or making it into a cute pet name and see how it fits. Now even DH agrees she couldn't have been anything else. Our sweet Ottilie tiddle bum.