Baylor?

[WittyUsername102]

We were originally going with Laurel for our DD, but DH discovered this today and really likes it, but I'm a little unsure - what are MN's opinions?
He really likes the meaning of it and it does fit our family - it means horse trainer.

Sorry OP - I really did try to follow the gist of the thread, but I clearly missed some essential updates.

Have you told your DH how universally mocked the name has been? Even if I adored a name, if it got a response even 10% as bad as this thread I would seriously be worried about giving that name to my child. Does he not care? Have you shown him this thread?

I really admire your strength and grace in the face of such overwhelming disapproval of this name - most people couldn't cope so well - your daughter might not be able to cope so well.

Moxon's on to something with her warning about it being a huge deal for someone to change their name if their parents saddle them with something that is almost universally disliked and ridiculed.

I was seven when I discovered my name wasn't actually the one I was called by. Came as a massive shock. My Mother says she's sure they'd mentioned that my real name was X and Y was a nickname at some point, but aged 7 I had no idea and was horrified. You are so literal at that age, I honestly thought my parents had been deliberately lying to me all those years.

Moved house not long after so changed my name to the one on my birth certificate and refused to answer to the old one. Took me years to stop feeling very angry about it. Some elderly relatives never got their head round the switch, and these days I regret being so vehement because there's no-one left who calls me by the pet name (except dh when he's being very affectionate).

Gave ds a name with only four letters that has no obvious nick-name although that's no guarantee his friends won't come up with one, of course. But at least he knows what his real name is!

Surfsup1 - No worries. DH has read (skim read) this thread. He isn't bothered - he has never been as into the naming as I have.

edamsavestheday - I'm sure his friends could if they wanted to - my nickname (although it was what everyone, except teachers, called me) for a lot of school (about 7 or 8 years) was a name irrelevant to mine (think my name being Amelia and then my 'nickname' being Hannah), I have no idea how that started but it stuck for a while. Was your nickname not an obvious one i.e Madi vs Madison, or if it was were you just always called Madi? I can imagine that would be quite hard for a young child to understand that. But I do feel that in terms of 'apple doesn't fall far from the tree' sense of things, if I changed my name and DD1 changed her name, I believe it would not be such an emotional struggle if DD3 wishes to.

Meant to say 'he isn't really bothered by the dislike of it from many'

But are they names you are comparing Baylor favourably with?

I posted my list to illustrate to another poster (very scientifically by means of a random and small sample ) that American names are not all Alexxxis-esque.

On the subject of how names are perceived, I feel that for a girl it can be disconcerting if people think her name is a boy's name. As the middle name thread shows, that is something a girl named Baylor is going to have to contend with.

I also think your DH should be bothered by the reception the name is getting on both threads. It's important for many girls to feel they have an attractive (and feminine) name. One that is considered clunky or masculine can have an effect. Maybe he could imagine how he would feel going through life as 'Cassidy' or some other name that would be mistaken for a girl name, or something like Titus or Uriah.

I know names can be changed, but if you go into this shrugging and expecting her to change it at some point, why bother with the process of choosing a name at all? Just tear a few pages out of a baby name book (the girl name section), lay them on the floor, stick a pin in them and go with whatever comes up.

"he isn't really bothered by the dislike of it from many"

but if 99% of people think it's a terrible name there's going to be a very high chance that your poor child is going to think it's a terrible name.

I don't expect her to change her name, I just have no problem with it if she does. Choosing a name is my favorite part of being pregnant, I wouldn't waste that on using a form of random generation.

And you are welcome to think what you want about my DH, but he is the exact opposite of me in terms of names, he doesn't normally care much. Every name for my DC except one of my DS's middle names were chosen by me, with just a 'sure' in reply from DH, I am over moon at the fact that he is even suggesting a name.

My name before I changed it was liked by basically everyone, in the top charts for ages, everyone loved it. I couldn't have hated it more. Anecdotal I know, but I don't think that my child will hate her name just because a bunch of people dislike it.

But we are pretty much set on Baylor now. I really would just appreciate middle name suggestions.

Do you like it though? Do you think your DD will like it? It seems a bit blithe to say that if she doesn't like it she can change it. No-one would name their child with that in the forefront of their mind, surely?

I wouldn't want to be called something 99% of people are going to dislike.

x - posted!

I like it and I think my DD will like it, yes. I don't see why it is weird to say that I don't mind if my DC change their names?

Please don't OP. It's awful ...

sourdrawers - We are almost certainly using it, just here now to answer Q's and hope for middle name suggestions.

It's not weird to say you don't mind, imo. I wouldn't mind either. But I didn't think of that when I chose my DC's names, as I hoped/felt sure they would also be pleased with their names. It wasn't a concern.

Anyway, as you've decided on it, I shan't comment further. Hope you succeed on your quest for the right middle name!

Sorry, I misunderstood.

Ah, it's probably because I and DD1 already changed our names so it was naturally in the back of my mind. Thank you!

I would be less enthusiastic than you over the suggestions of someone who doesn't care about names to the extent your DH seems not to care.

It would be like trusting the suggestion of someone who has never expressed an opinion in his life about your clothes (or women's clothes in general) about an outfit you should wear to a wedding, but who suddenly took a fancy to something he spotted on a rack.

But horses for courses.

I do 'get' the name changing thing, I had a name everyone liked and I hated, so changed it as an adult. Best decision ever.

FWIW I know Baylor has been controversial on MN but it'll disappear in a crowd at any modern school, UK or USA.

mathanxiety -Would you be saying the same thing if DH had chosen your favorite name?

Using your example, I am exactly like that with clothes, I just tend to wear the first thing I find. But that doesn't mean I am unaware of what the typical fashion trends are or what looks good. I do not thing no interest = no knowledge. Less knowledge than someone who spends their life dedicated to something, likely yes but not automatically no knowledge.

GilbertBlytheWouldGetIt - I honestly think that there are very few names that would really stand out... I personally think it's more spellings that stand out (i.e as earlier in the thread, Allexxxis instead of Alexis).

Hi Witty

Was your name ( the one you changed which was mainly a man's name pre 20thc and now female) - Jocelyn?

Either of your two middle names is great. Prefer elizabeth by a mile, just because naming kids after qualities - felicity,charity,serenity etc may become a bit of a burden.

And I hate to be bitchy, but Baylor is enough of a burden already. It's very evocative but what it evokes in almost all of us isn't very flattering. Could you possibly think again?

I would be a bit more receptive to it, that is true.

But in this case, he has chosen a random name out of the blue that has been panned by almost everyone on two threads, he has stated that he doesn't care how a name is perceived, and you had already decided on a name that is very different until he mentioned Baylor.

The randomness of it and the fact that he doesn't have a sense that how it is perceived is important would make me think he doesn't really care. Maybe he got a sense that you were frustrated by his lack of input and thought it might be a good idea to suggest something anything to give you the impression that he cared about what you cared about?

Going with it because he finally seems to care doesn't seem to me to be a sound basis on which to choose a name.

I think it's quite rude to criticise a name which will be used. It's not to my taste, but nn Bay is quite catchy.

It wasn't, but I had no idea Jocelyn was a male name originally.. it sounds so feminine! It seems strange that many male or unisex names become feminine yet are there any that turned female to male?

We are pretty stuck on Baylor now, but thank you for wording it nicely, I appreciate it.