Etsuko

[Tubaluba]

or Emiko?

Gosh, I have to admit my initial reaction was the same as koala's - wondering if the OP had Japanese connections. I think it's a fair enough response, and Etsuko on a child with no connection to Japan would strike me as odd (speaking as an anglophone mother of half Japanese DC).

Emiko sounds nicer than Etsuko to me.

they sound very harsh to my ear, but I am not Japanese and I've never been there and I don't know a single Japanese person tbh. But that aside, very harsh, both of them.

The Irish welsh thing is different though because any bod walking down the uk high street could have Irish heritage. Etsuko begs a lot more questioning imo. Not 'interrogation' questioning but it's just bound to lead to questions and it'd be naive not to expect that if you weren't Japanese.

Emiko is much nicer. Etsuko sounds more masculine.
But the 'o' I think will be pronounced how the letter O is said in English so as long as you don't mind that.

I know what Koala is trying to say - but surely the OP has a Japanese connection otherwise it'd be a very odd choice of names in the first place. I'd just assume that it's a given that either the OP or her DP are Japanese.
Pronunciation-wise, and I studied Japanese for like, one term so hope this is right! the Japanese language expresses each syllable of a word with the same emphasis, and the syllables are determined by the symbols of their 'alphabet'. So the name Etsuko, is pronounced e-tsu-ko ('e' as in 'yet', 'tsu' as in 'tsunami', 'ko' as in 'cough') with no stress placed on any syllable. The English attempt would almost certainly be et-SU-ko ('et' as in yet, 'su' as in Susan, 'ko' as in 'cope'). It's a subtle difference, but would be frustrating I'm sure.

If the OP only wants answers that stick to her parameters, she needs to write a more informative first post than 'A or B?'

I refuse to accept that I was the one being rude or aggressive when her reply to my question was 'Yes, but that is immaterial. I would like others opinions on the names themselves, not whether we qualify to use them in the first place, ta.'

She very obviously thought I was going to say 'Ooh, you can't use Japanese names if you're not Japanese'. I wasn't, as I don't subscribe to that view, as it happens.

And I know quite a bit about cross-cultural considerations when naming half-Japanese children, so I was interested in engaging with the OP. Jeez, if I'd only known.

I don't think anyone has been either rude or aggressive - it's very difficult to judge tone on these forums sometimes. There was a reasonable question asked, and a reasonable answer given IMHO.

Completely agree koala.

I saw ops reply to you and thought wtf

Blatantly fucking rude and has a stick up ones ass.

Oh and no point in giving my opinion on name as you clearly don't care what other peoples opinions are.

Also at sunshine.

Only on mumsnet can someone turn a board clearly just about baby names into a cultural and racial squabble.

Koala clearly didn't mean that. Only a complete moron would read it as anything else.

Stop being so over sensitive.

Poor Koala. My question would have been 'will the child have Japanese heritage?' too. Just as I'd ask someone who was choosing between Fabrizio or Vittorio if they had Italian heritage. I thought the OP's response read as being a bit snippy but maybe I'm projecting a tone onto it.

As far as the names are concerned I prefer Emiko.

I think OP was rude and Koala was unfairly jumped on.

The question was very vague and I think that the answer depends on whether the child is 100% Japanese, where they live and what sort of school they go to (English or Japanese speaking).

As a Japanese speaker I also wondered if you and your child were Japanese as Etsuko is old fashioned and the Japanese babies I know have names which aren't -ko names.

Emiko is nicer than Etsuko in my opinion. The nicknames like Emi would be easier for English speaking people to pronounce.

I like Emiko, I think if you are in the UK, Etsuko will probably get mispronounced. However, if you like it go for it because generally once people know how a name is said, they get it right especially in school etc. I happen to be friends with a Japanese lady (who lives in japan) whose name ends in -ko and she is in her 30's.

My sil is also a -ko but something about Etsuko is especially old-fashioned to me more so than Emiko.

The top 10 Japanese girls names last year were:

1. Yuina
2. Hina
3. Aoi
4. Yua
5. Yui
6. Rin
7. Airi
8. Koharu
9. Airi (different characters)

10. Mei

Really different! I don't think a lot of them are typically Japanese from a Western perspective.

My husband wanted Rin actually but I didn't like it so much. Some cute Japanese names that multicultural friends have used are Sumire, Hana, Maya, Ema, Kaira. Really pretty but it seems like the OP prefers something traditional.

Anyway, sorry for going off topic OP. They are your names so go with what makes you happy. I do think you will have to get used to people asking if you have a Japanese connection though. I bet you will get asked it A LOT!

Etsuko is lovely.

Bun fight aside, is this a UK Forum?

I prefer Etsuko and Suki is a lovely NN. I don't think it matters if it seems a bit old hat by Japanese standards. 99.99% of people in this country will have absolutely no idea what is trendy or naff in Japan!

I must be honest though, I do think it is very odd and clunky to give a child a name from a totally different culture/language to their own if they don't share any of that heritage. But in your case that is not an issue.

Might not be relevant but Suki would be a weird nn for Etsuko as it is E-tsu-ko. There is no Su in there. It's tsu like in tsunami. But of course it probably doesn't matter in the UK just really weird for any Japanese speakers you happen to meet.

My daughter's middle name is Mairi and we spent a lot of time researching the correct spelling etc But I appreciate not everyone does. A lot of names have been altered from their original form and cultural origin.

Wowser, I thought koala's question was fine! I don't like either name but I'm not Japanese and have never heard of them before.

Right good oh
So just to clarify
OP was rude for trying to keep her heritage out of it.
This is an English forum for English people
And I'm a 'moron' for defending OP's right to construct her post as she wishes and not subscribing to the 'English forum for English people' mentality
It's all a bit Royston Vasey for me I'm afraid, or a bit playground at least. Thought this was about baby naming rather than name-calling.

it was the OP's own snippy response that set the tone, so, over reactions all round.

and of course it's a British forum. There's a bit picture of David Cameron on the home page. Bleurgh.

Ummm no, some people thought the OP's response was rude. And I think you're having a massive overreaction.

British-based forum is very different English forum though. It's naive and a bit offensive to assume that the default setting for every poster here is Caucasian and English.
I'm interested that so many people found the OP's response rude or snippy. I didn't (but then I don't think tone is well conveyed by the written word)
Is the consensus then that all posters wishing for opinions on a non-traditional English name should also state their ethnicity so that we can evaluate it in the right context (English Caucasian posters are of course exempt as the 'default' for this site)

Sunshine, it was a dismissive and curt response to a reasonable question from someone genuinely trying to engage in a discussion imo. I think giving a Japanese name to a child with no link to Japan would be odd, as do several others it would seem. Obviously you don't which is also fine.

I know an Anglo-Japanese girl called Itsuki living in the UK - people tend to assume it's pronounced It-Soo-Kee at first.
I also know a very young Emiko who has no links to Japan at all - I know her parents' extended family thought it was a bit odd at first but everyone's fine with it now.

and it's uptight and sanctimonious to lecture posters for their reaction to the OP's comment upthread! it was their prerogative to have that reaction, no? and it could be construed as 'not your place' to defend the 'tone' of the original poster on her behalf (unless you're her?).

I'm neither English nor British myself, but I can grasp the concept of a default assumption.

Where I'm from it's rude not to ask "where are you from?". It would display an ignorant lack of curiosity!