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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

"Stealing" an unusual baby name?

66 replies

CatFaceCrayola · 13/07/2014 11:58

There is a name that both me an DH like.

Problem is someone I know, not really a friend, more a friend of a friend (although she did give me her old maternity pillow and has offered some good pregnancy advice do far) has a 4yo of the same name?

We're not telling anyone our name choices until baby (we still don't know if boy or girl) Is born.

The name is pretty rare/unusual. Is she likely to take offense?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Floggingmolly · 13/07/2014 12:07

All names were unusual once... They only become popular when lots of other people "steal" them, so unless it's a name they've made up themselves for personal reasons I'd go right ahead.

dobedobedo · 13/07/2014 12:11

Nah I don't think so. Two people have named their ds after my ds and asked me if I minded! I took it as a compliment.

Original poster

CatFaceCrayola · 13/07/2014 12:13

Good responses! We could be close to an actual decision!

OP posts:

Shockers · 13/07/2014 12:25

Ask them if they would mind.

MrsBungle · 13/07/2014 12:26

I don't believe you can steal a name. You're not that close, just use the name if you like it IMO.

RabbitSaysWoof · 13/07/2014 12:27

Whats the name?

OwlCapone · 13/07/2014 12:27

How likely are your paths to cross regularly? I could only envisage it being an issue if you were living in each others pockets and frequenting the same places all the time.

HaroldLloyd · 13/07/2014 12:28

I don't think a friend of a friend is close enough to worry about.

I would probably mention to her that you might use it as it's been a favourite of yours for a long time, rather than just announce it, if you are a bit friendly.

ajandjjmum · 13/07/2014 12:29

Do you bump into these people regularly? Are there going to be occasions each week when you're calling the name, and both DC respond? If not, I wouldn't imagine it would be a problem, although it would be courteous to mention it first to the other DM.

Will she take offense? Who knows - people can be funny!

DinkyDinosaur · 13/07/2014 12:30

Both my boys have very unusual names, and it'd be very noticeable if someone used the same name. However I'd be complimented if someone heard them and liked them enough to name their child the same name. We all tend to like names we heard somewhere before so in that sense all names are 'stolen', even if it is from a name book!

curiousgeorgie · 13/07/2014 12:34

I gave my DD a fairly unusual name and would've been a bit annoyed if someone I knew had then used it...

It depends how close you are and how many friends you have in common I think.

On the other hand, someone asked if they could use DD1's name for their baby and it's pretty common so I didn't mind at all. Ask them?

Itsfab · 13/07/2014 12:34

If you think they will kick off about then then they aren't a friend of yours anyway so definitely shouldn't influence your choice.

In my aqua natal group one lady had her baby weeks before mine and named him our choice. I said oh, we have chosen that, but more so that she knew I think. Never crossed our minds to change other than a quick should we change it with DH as I asked him when our next child's name was going to be a child who was killed while I was pregnant. In both cases we kept our choice. I don't see that woman anymore anyway as we moved and sadly there will always be children in the press for tragic reasons.

InfiniteJest · 13/07/2014 12:35

I wouldn't worry. If you choose a different name then have barely anything to do with this friend in the future, you might regret not having chosen the name you really wanted. We chose a name for DD that we had wanted for years, despite a friend having a 2 year old with the same name. She didn't mind, and I've never regretted it - and we've only seen her twice since DD was born!

DitzyDonkey · 13/07/2014 12:53

I wouldn't do it tbh

strawberrydaquari · 13/07/2014 12:59

My dd has quite an unusual name. The neighbours obviously liked it and named their dog the same! Another child and I wouldn't have minded at all but a dog, grrrr

Original poster

CatFaceCrayola · 13/07/2014 13:30

Ha ha....a dog, I can see why that annoyed you!

I can see our paths crossing as she is quite involved with various pregnancy/baby/child groups in my area.

Not sure I know her well enough to ask her.

I guess it's true that every name is sort of stolen unless it's made up (our current top girls name is a made up name! )

OP posts:

Walnut8 · 13/07/2014 14:14

Our dd1 has an unusual name, two friends of friends have now named their dds the same. I take it as a compliment. It's a lovely name!!

burgatroyd · 13/07/2014 15:17

A lady I hardly knew named her dd after dd1. She told the HV this and HV told me knowing I'd be pleased. I was and am!!!!!

Its polite to tell her though.

scottishmummy · 13/07/2014 15:23

Of no consequence if she takes offence,in fact she could start twitter feed#gitsstolebabyname
I have no idea why people tippy toe around names
If you like it,use it

scottishmummy · 13/07/2014 15:35

I wouldn't ask permission about a name choice,and certainly not an acquaintance

RedToothBrush · 13/07/2014 15:39

Loads of people call their kids an 'unusual name' except when you check the latest trends and popularity of that name, it turns out to be a not so unusual top 100.

squoosh · 13/07/2014 16:37

Use it if you really like it.

Say the name was Wolfgang for example, if I was Wolfgang's parent I might say to my partner 'well they're clearly copying is' and they might feel a bit humphy which is allowed, but they won't say this to your face so it doesn't really matter.

If you live in a tiny village it might be weird to have two little Wolfgangs though.

BrunoBrookesDinedAlone · 13/07/2014 16:42

My DC have quite unusual names - if anyone copied I'd take it as a compliment.

Also - don't assume that if someone calls their child an unusual name, then it's partly because they want to be unusual. It's far more likely that they actually simply loved that name, and might well be pleased that there's another family in the 'gang' that loves that name, so to speak. Makes one feel less 'out on a limb'!

burgatroyd · 13/07/2014 17:00

What's the name, op?!

nooka · 13/07/2014 17:16

My children have fairly common names but I have a very very unusual name (never met another, although they do exist). If someone in my social circle used my name for their child I would be annoyed because I like being the only one, and after 40 odd years it would be a big adjustment to make. If they asked me in advance I would say that they should use whatever name they like, but I can't say I'd be enthusiastic! If they just announced it I would be very pissed off.

I think that in the circumstances it would be polite to mention to the friend that the name is on your list.

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