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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

"Stealing" an unusual baby name?

66 replies

CatFaceCrayola · 13/07/2014 11:58

There is a name that both me an DH like.

Problem is someone I know, not really a friend, more a friend of a friend (although she did give me her old maternity pillow and has offered some good pregnancy advice do far) has a 4yo of the same name?

We're not telling anyone our name choices until baby (we still don't know if boy or girl) Is born.

The name is pretty rare/unusual. Is she likely to take offense?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

VelvetEmbers · 13/07/2014 17:55

One of my DSs has a very unusual name. We were less than pleased when another one turned up in his school, even though mine was in Y13 and this other lad was Y7.

A colleague's DD has a very unusual name and they made a point of not telling anyone outside the family (ie friends, work) until she was a year old, to avoid someone hearing it, naming their child the same, and ending up with both of them in the same class.

squoosh · 13/07/2014 17:59

Your colleague is bonkers!

Extremely so.

ajandjjmum · 13/07/2014 18:34

So what did they call the baby for the first year of it's life?!!!!

Itsfab · 13/07/2014 18:48

Really, Nooka! And you are 40?

I was only one in a school of 1200 with my name and liked it but only because giving me a nice name was the only thing my mother ever did for me. In the last ten years it has become slightly more popular but I am still surprised when I see or hear someone else has the same name.

Rhubarbgarden · 13/07/2014 19:04

As a pp said, are you sure it's unusual? I know parents of Oscars, Noahs and Tillys who all claim they were 'such unusual names' when they chose them and were all shocked and disappointed when their child started nursery and found they were one of three or four...

Hedgehog1977 · 13/07/2014 19:34

I think you should use it OP. We are slightly in the same position as one of our top names was used by my boss' daughter a couple of years ago. It was on our list when we started ttc (4 years) but I know everyone will think we 'copied'! Advice on here was not to worry about it.

Thing is most names are copied from somewhere, you either see it in a book, or on tv, or on here, or you hear someone you know with the name. I don't really see the difference as long as they're not part of the same family/social circle, which might make it confusing.

My best friend told me when I fell pregnant that she wouldn't mind in the slightest if I used one of the same names as her. They're not to my taste, but I appreciated the thought! wish my cousin would say the same

Original poster

CatFaceCrayola · 13/07/2014 19:58

We're not telling ANYBODY our names until there is a little person with said names.

seems the jury is a little split between telling her in advance or just doing it regardless

OP posts:

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 13/07/2014 20:16

Just use it. If she ever comments just tell her the truth "we had never heard it til you named your child it and we think it is a beautiful name. Nothing came close".

We have a family that are close friends of ours. They have an eleven year old son with a very rare name which we adore. We have asked his Mum if he or she would mind if we used it and she was very happy! Pleased that we love her name choice as much as her and said her son always says he has a name noome has and grumps about it so will be over the moon if another one came along.

jamtoast12 · 13/07/2014 20:26

By all means use it if you want as it's not for her to say no. However a not close friend used my dds name for her latest child (my dd is 8 and it's very pretty name and fairly unusual as in I don't know any). I was a bit gutted but not with her at all. I just love people's reactions to it and knowing there's another within wide circle does irritate slightly but I know I'm being petty and would never dream of admitting it to anyone in real life!

Iownafourinchporsche · 13/07/2014 20:52

Call the baby what you want. Tell her after the birth announcement and say how much you have always loved their child's names.

nooka · 13/07/2014 22:18

Itsfab, last time I looked on Facebook there were 300 people worldwide with my name and about 50 on LinkedIn. It's proper unusual :)

gamescompendium · 13/07/2014 22:37

DS has the same (unusual in England, common at home) name as SIL's sister's DS2 who is a few months older. We did have a wobble about using the name but I knew from a previous conversation that she was OK with me using the same names. We live in different parts of the country but the family connection means we see each other once a year or so at family events. We'll see her in the summer when she is due to have DC3, can't wait to see what she calls it.

Floggingmolly · 14/07/2014 11:30

We're not telling ANYBODY our name.
Bit ironic, op. Do you think someone will steal it?

Rooners · 14/07/2014 12:13

Mine all have relatively unusual names for their age group, and two of them are pretty far out but you know, unless I already didn't like the person copying me using the name, I wouldn't be cross - I'd just assume they had sound reasons for using it themselves.

After all no one gives their child a name lightly - they have to love the name, and that takes more than just hearing someone else using it.

Like, I might like a name but I wouldn't use it for an actual child I was having, unless it had stronger connections/deeper resonances (get me) than that.

You don't go through childbirth just to give it a name that doesn't mean anything to you - just to copy someone you don't even know very well. Do you?

NormalTea · 14/07/2014 16:51

phone them to let them know, and mention that all the names on your list were unusual.

you're not friends, you're not related, it's fine.

And I don't always say 'oh it's fine'. You get people on here who think it's ok to have one set of grandparents with two gc with the same name!

Gingerjv · 14/07/2014 17:08

If this lady is not your friend at all (just friend of a friend) so i think it is ok to steal her child's name;-)) maybe in few years you will not communicate with her at all! so if this name is really so great steal it and forget about this issue;-)

scottishmummy · 14/07/2014 18:49

Its of no relevance whether she friend,acquaintance or her at baby group.its not her name

whatadrain · 14/07/2014 19:05

My DD has a fairly unusual name. It was reasonably popular 30 years ago but a famous song killed it off. On the rare occasion I've met another person with the same name I feel an affinity with them as it is a super cool name (in my opinion!)

I do live in a small village though, and I think I would be a little miffed if there was another girl of the same name, but that's life!

weatherall · 14/07/2014 19:14

Whatadrain- is it Eileen?

whatadrain · 14/07/2014 20:49

No but that's a great guess!

Bluestocking · 14/07/2014 20:58

Is it Kayleigh?

Floggingmolly · 14/07/2014 21:20

Is it Annie?

Fram · 14/07/2014 21:23

Sheila (take a bow)?

Fram · 14/07/2014 21:24

Alison (my aim is true)?

Fram · 14/07/2014 21:24

Maybe it's Vienna!

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