Does anyone have a Joseph that is never called by his name?

[GotAnotherQuestion]

I appreciate nicknames are used and you can't help that.

However half of my family seem to have rejected my baby's name and only ever call him Joe. Or even worse spell it Jo!

I feel like I've got a boy called William who everyone insists on calling Bill, or something like that.

And the problem is that the half of the family refusing to ever use his full name have told all friends and neighbours (before we could) that he's called Jo. So now everyone is doing it.

Has anyone else had this problem before? I feel really stupid as I always knew you can't control what people call your child, and I really liked the name Joseph but didn't like Joe for a baby. I kind of thought nicknames would naturally happen at school.

I have this with my name. I just correct by saying "my name is ......" . Just keep repeating yourself. My ds hasb been telling schoolfiends to use his proper name and mot shorter one (same name as your son) and that has helped him.

Just be consistent and correct them all the time.

Thank goodness I am not alone!

When you say that you correct them - do you say "he's not Jo he's Joseph" or not as obvious as that?

Has anyone shrugged and ignored you?

I find that incredibly rude.

I would just say "who's Jo?" "oh you mean Joseph! His name is Joseph" .

My DB is Patrick and when he was little a couple of relatives called him Paddy. Apparently my mum's response was scary enough that they never did it again

My name can be shortened to Jo which people used to do more when I was a kid. Family were the worst offenders though. I found just blanking people until they used my full name worked the best - although it took a few years to break my grandmother of the habit, she's stubborn . But yes, new people just get a "sorry, it's not Jo

I think it's harder when it's your child's name though, as I can imagine that you want people to use your child's full name but don't want to sound precious either.

Really interested that boys with the name Joseph have actually fought their corner and insisted they're called Joseph! If that happens I will be quite pleased. After all, it's partly lack of his ability to choose later that bothers me (plus the name Joseph is an entirely different name to Joe).

I think part of the problem is that his Dad is led by the females of his family and because they started it, he followed and calls him Joseph when with me and Joe when with them. I've talked to him about it but he disagrees it's a problem and thinks I'm being precious.

I think you'll struggle all his life with a name like Joseph, because joe is so accepted as the MN for it.

When Joseph is at school, it is likely that he'll choose Joe too. Then you'll end up in that ghastly situation where only the parents use a full Sunday name, and his friends find it amusing.

There was a Will I went to uni with, who was always Will but who's big sister called him William. Became a running joke that he was being babied by her - he was though, we saw her cut up his meat once!

Is there any chance you could warm to Joe and use both intermittently?

My daughter hates her shortened version and growls at anyone who tries. You have to just keep telling people. The way I see it I gave my daughter that name and that is her name until she decides that she is something else, whatever anyone else thinks. Her nickname is Tinker Belle and she gets all variations of that, I don't particularly care and neither does she (except when my brother calls her Stinker Bell or Stink but he likes giving the kids reasons to beat him up) but her name is her name.

It's a battle you will never win. Best to stop trying- it makes mothers look neurotic.

If you call a child a name that can easily shortened then it is usually inevitable, by friends, teachers even the child himself.
You are being precious.
You may be a massive part of your child's life atm, but with time thet too will change- you can't keep control.

I have a friend called Liz in her 30s who is known to everyone by that name except her mother who even now insits that she is Elizabeth. She will correct me mid conversation "you mean Elizabeth" she will snap.

Everyone thinks this mother is slightly nuts.
Let it go.

Yes I have a Joseph who is nearly 10. Hardly anybody calls him Joseph now. First 2 years I corrected /discouraged the use of Joe but honestly you are fighting a losing battle!

I actually think he prefers Joe so it's just me and the dentist who insist on Joseph! I still love the name and it works his brother who is an Isaac (which people always spell incorrectly - don't get me going on that one!)

What was wrong with the other thread?

Nothing - I started this one first and then realised I was asking WWYD and so would skip off there. Glad I did both as you can see I got loads of replies from WWYD.

I realise I can't police everything and have full ownership of my son, but I really love the name Joseph and what a shame I if can't ever have it, not even for the first few years because of everyone else

Stick to your guns and correct. I have and no one shortens my name. My Joseph corrected people at about 4ish, he would actually be quite miffed with people shortening it. Some family from dh's side soon learned he was having none of it. Have words with your dh though. I think your ds would accept Joe more if his dad called him it.

I have a Joseph and before he was born l made it clear we didn't want it shortening. My dn can't say it though and calls him jovis, so do the rest of us sometimes his 3.2 year old db calls him baby, he has never called him by his name and he's 15 months now. When he's older he can decide himself if he wants to be called Joe.

The 3.2 yo is called tommy, same thing everyone knows not to shorten it. Although he has started referring to himself as tom sometimes.

I had a friend who had a Samuel and she spent two years correcting people when they shortened it to Sam. It was a losing battle, and we used to snigger behind her back because she sounded mad.

You don't own the baby, and you can't dictate his relationships with other people- and part of that relationship might include what they call each other.

Hakluyt - please read my last message and see I have already said I don't seek ownership!

You're right, a relationship is a personal business. But you can't try and tell me a newborn has a relationship yet! That comes later. Not to labour my point but his chosen name has been 100% ignored right from the first day and I do find that quite presumptuous.

My DS knows he can be called his shortened name, his actual name or his initials. I always call him his full name as I don't want it to be a "just when he's naughty" name IYSWIM.
He introduces himself with his full name:

Are there any nicknames you like better? My uncle is Joss- though his real name is Joseph?

That's a fair point. The only 2 I've known of for Joseph are Joe and Joey. Truth is I really like the full name, is super cute for all ages, but will see if I can maybe scout around.

Joss is really nice!

My Joseph gets his full name except from his friends and his nephew who calls him Joebiff!

Is Joss ever mistaken for Josh?

not that I know of, but then I only know him in a family environment.

it's disrespectful to decide someone's name isn't good enough for you and rename them. to both them and their parents. when a person is old enough to choose for themselves that's a different matter. I'm glad I stuck to my guns when my eldest was a baby, even if I sounded neurotic she hates the shortened version (not because of me before anyone says it, it's never been discussed in front of her) and I'm sure she sounds neurotic herself now correcting people and that's their relationship with her. funny the school didn't see it that way when the TA was disciplined for calling her that name even after she made it clear she does not like it. it is part of her identity which is protected as a human right.