DH really wants to use his late mum's name...

[rosielea]

Hello, I'm pregnant with DC3 at the moment, don't know if it's a boy or girl, we have 2 DDs already. My Dh's mum passed away 6 years ago, she was a lovely woman who he was very close with, I only knew her for a short time but I liked her very much.
He didn't suggest her name for our 2 DDs I think because he was still very sad about her death but this time he would really like to use her name. Her name was Maisie, well Mary but known only as Maisie. I think it's fine as a name, not ever what I would choose myself but I don't hate it.
I feel a bit sad that if I agree then all the fun of name choosing is over! And that I wouldn't get to use any of my preferred names but I can't decide if I'm just being petty and should agree as it means alot to him? What would you do?x

My granny gave my mum exactly the same name as her own. My mum gave me her name (or maybe it was my granny's name - hard to tell) as my middle name.

For this I thank her gratefully. Having it as a middle name is one thing. Being lumbered with it as a first name quite another. My mum certainly wasn't happy about it and never uses it in its proper form.

Luckily Maisie is not out of place today.

It is the DC who will have to live with her name when she is a teen and a 40 year old.

gertiegusset, one of our other DDs is Marina!
See this is what I mean about how subjective names are expatinscotland, you hear Frances and think of your sweet little hamster, I hear Frances and think of the coolest girl I went to school with who was clever and funny and different from all the Sarah's and Claire's.

ooh if you have a Marina already, I'd be quite wary of using Maisie as a first name - they're quite similar as names go and it would be a pain having two 'Miss M RosieleaSurnames' in the household! That would be another vote for using Maisie as a middle name - if I was dd called Marina and a baby came along called Maisie I'd feel quite hurt that my parents had had to call her something so similar to me when there were so many other names out there to choose from.

My dsis has 3 dd, last two have names that start with the same sound (albeit they do have a different first initial, one is a J and the other a G but both pronounced the same). BIL pushed last name through despite sis not being very keen (even less keen when she discovered it was the name of his first girlfriend but that was after the christening so a bit late to change!) and everybody is forever tripping up over their names, no matter how good your intentions are, it's so easily done. And then the more you think about it the worse it gets! Depending on what you're calling them for - sometimes they will both answer (say, if the question is do you want some chocolate) or sometimes they won't (if you're trying to hurry them up or get them to do something). They also both answer to assorted amalgams of their names - when they want to... The differences between their names are very similar to the differences between Marina and Maisie (but with a G-m and a J-s) so they look different enough on paper but in real life when using them - much too similar!

It's definitely another thing to think about...

M dh wanted his fathers name for our DS and I went ith it, I'm happy with it end I suppose glad the name has meaning.

Expecting again and dh is hinting at either his grandmothers name or male version of his mothers. Now I put the foot down. I'm choosing this name. Straight away he agreed and realised it wasn't on.

To use Mary as a middle name is a great compromise.

I would use Maisie as middle name

Oh dear DD2's middle name is Frances, after my MIL. She doesn't look like a hamster.

Tribute, my arse! It's, 'I don't have the balls to name the child after X, so I'll tack it in there where no one will really see it, anyhow.'

What utter nonsense. DD has two middle names. One for each of her maternal great grandmothers. No cop out whatsoever. And guess what - one of her great grandmothers was a Frances and, oddly enough, wasn't a hamster. I chose all of her names with care, attention and love. Probably just like you chose your children's names.

IMO Frances is a crap name for a hamster, they should all be called Hammy. (see how I presented that as opinion rather than trying to make out it's a fact?)

I would definitely use Maisie if you like it, as it will mean a lot to your dh, and will probably help him in his grief. Your dd will make the name her own very quickly.

My DD is named after my DH's Grandma, who is still alive.

DD is most definitely her own person and no issues with associations.

I thi it's nice to have a family name, but if I hadn't liked the name it would not have happened!

I did indeed state it was an opinion.

Another is that Hammy is unimaginative as a name and that pocket pets should be given names that are unsuitable for babies born in modern times, like Frances and Janet, our deceased but much-loved tan and white Syrian. Or Albrecht or Bernard for male hamsters.

Fact is that Frances is indeed a lovely hamster, she is black with white feet.

I wouldn't use it as her first name if you don't love it.
(and it's not selfish to want to give your child a name you love. Pfffft. And your husband doesn't love the name, he loves the idea of honoring his mum. A middle name is a traditional way to include a family name, and not an 'afterthought'.)

It is very normal for a family name to be given as a middle name, it doesn't matter that the whole world doesn't know it, the person with the name and the close family members do and it is to them that it is important.

I much prefer Mary to Maisie, I also like Frances and Alice.

With respect what has choosing a baby's name got to do with a poster's admittedly charming hamster?

This thread is hilarious, thanks for all your helpful and also creative responses!

It's a name you like and it has huge significance family wise. To me it's a no brainer. If your late MIL had been called Gladys or Mildred it would be different, of course.
But Maisie is a gorgeous name and it is always nice to see names being carried on in a family.

Rosemary

Love Mary as middle name

That is my name Swisskissing :)

You can't use Maisie or Mary as a first name if you already have a Marina. Marina is a version of Mary, so is Maisie. It would be like calling one DD Annie and one Annette.

Alice Mary
Frances Mary
Both v nice imo.

All babies look a little like hamsters, especially if one parent was an amsterrrrrre.

All hamsters should be called Lily. That is a true fact.

My niece is Frances and my dd is Lily. Neither are hamsters Proper pets have slightly wacky names that you wouldn't/couldn't use for a child (like our family dog Yorick) I'm not so keen on the ironic trend of 70s names for pets (although I do like Bernard :))

I really think with a Marina that Mary/Maisie doesn't really work. I like Frances Mary or Frances Elizabeth Mary.

There's lovely series of books by Russell Hoban about an animal called Frances- my children adored them. I don't think she's a hamster, though. A small badger, maybe? I don't think it's ever specified.

She definitely looks like a badger I think. We had Bedtime for Frances, it's lovely :)

DH's mum died while I was pregnant with DD. Her name was a very old fashioned one and quite ugly in my opinion-a female version of an old man's name, so think Nigella for Nigel, though not. We gave it to DD as a middle name and now I love it as even though I wouldn't have chosen it otherwise it reminds us of DMIL and I think DD will be glad to have that link to the Nana she never met. Maisie is a nice name-I don't think you'll regret using it either as a first or middle name.

nooka I know someone called Yorick... Always thought it was the coolest name ever!

Just to ad my DS was named after FIL and DD has middle name after my DM, both were very much alive when children named and very happy with the names, as was I. Also I have middle name Marina, hardly ever hear that! My Dneice has it too.