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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Why does it bother me/others

60 replies

OwlBeThereForYou · 29/01/2014 01:55

Ok so I can't sleep and I'm not switching off, so I'm just wondering...why is there such a big deal made about the popularity of a name?
I mean I get that we want our children to be unique but they're going to be themselves regardless of how many there was in their class. I'm talking from someone with a fairly popular name, usually at least two in my classes etc, and apart from being a little irritating on occasion (not often really) it hasn't seemed to harm me.
So why does it seem to be such an issue...and for me too!? One of the names we like is in the top 10 and it's putting me off. But we don't personally know any at all! And I also think that we could go for a name that's currently 400 something, and it become popular quickly and therefore 'start the trend' iyswim!
Anyway this is a ridiculously long post for a 'wondering'...please blame the not sleeping and pregnancy hormones

OP posts:

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WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 30/01/2014 14:42

There were 5 Andrews in my class at primary school, that was confusing.

I have not come across that degree of prevalence in any setting my DCs have been in (they've had two Matthews, two Thomases, two Isabels, two Olivers, two Ellies). All differentiated by use of last initial.

Mrsindecision · 30/01/2014 15:35

But lebkuchenlover, I frequently hear posters on here saying that they have disregarded a name they love due to its popularity as they don't want their dc being one of 7 in a class. In my dd's case we choose a name we loved which happened to be well outside the top 500 and yet there is still another in her class, so you really cannot predict from the baby name stats whether they are going to be the only one in the class or not. I would just say disregard the stats and choose the name you love most.

Original poster

OwlBeThereForYou · 30/01/2014 20:10

You all have such valid points...which is ridiculously unhelpful!! Ugh I guess this isn't going to be easy! People's names should change annually just so we can use all the names we like (I realise this is entirely impossible and impracticable - again I'm blaming the hormones!)

OP posts:

lebkuchenlover · 30/01/2014 21:21

"I frequently hear posters on here saying that they have disregarded a name they love due to its popularity as they don't want their dc being one of 7 in a class"

Yes, their love for the name has therefore been diminished due to the name being too widely used. Fair enough. I too find some names a little dull simply because I hear them so often.

tallulah · 30/01/2014 21:34

I don't agree it's a relatively new stress. My eldest children are 22 to 28 and I didn't want them having the same names as anyone we knew. My friend when I had DC1 called her baby Hannah. We didn't know anyone called that, but it soon became clear that most of the girls born locally that year were named Hannah . It seems that everyone has the same idea at the same time.

Similarly when DC5 was born in 2007 a colleague who had her baby at the same time called her Evie. Everyone at work said "how unusual". Everywhere we went every little girl that age was either Evie or Isabel. (Oddly though there is no-one called either Evie or Isabel at DD's school).

I had a typical 1960s name and frequently meet people with the same name. It's very boring. It instantly dates me because it isn't a name given to older/younger women.

ameliarose2012 · 30/01/2014 21:50

I have a VERY common name. There was always at least one other in my class, and at work currently there are 4 of us (though more have come and gone). I said right from the off that no child of mine would ever have such a popular name.

However...

I always liked the name Amelia (having first come across it when we were choosing a 'Victorian' name for ourselves at primary school), and I always wanted to call my daughter it. It's been out of favour for decades, only to jump to the top spot in the year I finally had her (we were trying for over three years, so could have been anytime!). It did almost put me off, but we went with it anyway as it was the only name we could agree on.

Funny how life turns out!

Wordsaremything · 30/01/2014 21:51

Completely agree. I have a traditional name as do all our family and I love it - the fact that there were two other girls in class with the same name was irrelevant. I am me!

Think there is a definite trend of try to hard to be different these days, but each to their own.

Mrsindecision · 30/01/2014 21:57

I think you're missing my point lebkuchenlover, I am simply saying that you shouldn't be put off a name just from the stats alone. The OP says that the name she is considering is top 10, yet she knows of none personally so can't understand why she is letting the stats put her off. She is not saying she finds the name " dull" due to its popularity.

All I am saying is that you can never tell whether your child will be the only one in a class with a certain name from looking at the statistics alone, and that you may bypass your favourite name for one you like less only to discover someone else with your "unique" DC's name anyway (and none with the more popular choice you loved). In a class of 30 or less, name duplication of even the most popular names is statistically unlikely. Being put off a name due to the frequency of hearing it is not quite what the op's post is actually about IMO.

Spookey80 · 30/01/2014 22:04

I also think this is quite a new thing as I don't particularly think about my name ever,, it's just my name. No big deal ifyswim.

Ziplex · 30/01/2014 22:12

I have a very, very unusual name and for that reason I gave my DS a normal name, I hated my parents for it, I really couldn't give a tiny monkeys left ball that my name was different, it made life hard for a small shy child!!

BananaHammocks · 31/01/2014 08:14

Aaaargh why do people keep going on about school! Your children won't be in school for much of their life! They might go to uni in a different area where the name is more popular or work in a office with people up to 50 years older/younger than them! That's why I look at popularity and not just for this year!

Finabhear · 31/01/2014 08:23

Even if you chose the top name only one in a hundred children of the same sex will have that name.

TamerB · 31/01/2014 08:31

I always had someone with my names in the class all through school. It didn't bother me. What gives me a wry smile is the parent who thinks they were being highly original in name and then gets another in the same class!
If I like it popularity isn't going to put me off.

MiaowTheCat · 31/01/2014 08:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BettyMacdonald · 31/01/2014 08:57

I was the only one in my primary school with my name and one of two in my entire secondary school - strangely enough we were in the same class and we're very good friends I like the identity my name has mostly given me in that I don't know any others, apart from my friend, my age. That said, it was madly popular a few years ago so there are now loads running around! When it came to naming DS1 we went for a name that everyone's heard of but was ranked about 690 in the 'name charts'. Two years after he was born it rocketed to about number 12 and there are loads. Totally irrational I know but I'm ! If I have a 4th I'm going to call him Englebert

tammytoby · 31/01/2014 13:57

Names are meant to identify us and, as other posters have said, not just in school but for the whole of your life. We're having some building work done and about 80% of the builders are called Steve! Very confusing!

There are so, so many names to choose from. Yes, it can be hard to resist the current 'fashion' but if you look outside the currently trendy names you'll find lots of normal, lovely timeless names!

YouGrateMyCheese · 31/01/2014 14:34

Exactly, tammytoby. The best names are often those that are easily recognizable but not widely shared. A unique name doesn't have to be "try-hard" or strange. A baby girl today named Jane or Anne would be a breath of fresh air.

tammytoby · 31/01/2014 14:46

Absolutely. Avoiding a trendy/popular name does not mean giving your child a made-up obscure combination of letters. There are literally 1000s of underused lovely classics out there. Not everyone will love them (yes, names are popular for a reason - they are in fashion...!) but they are likely to stand the test of time much better and, more importantly, are likely to identify your child more easily.

Mrsindecision · 31/01/2014 19:02

"Test of time"? "Best names"? All very subjective frankly imo. Anne and Jane sound dated to my ear so arguably don't pass my "test". Tastes change and I don't see anything wrong with embracing the era you are in at the time of naming a child. My ds (early teens) has a few friends with names that were very common in the 1970s but which are very unusual now and only the other day he said how odd he found someone of his age having these names and that they were fine for "older people" but strange on someone his age. He then said he loved his name and was very pleased we chose it for him (his name has been in the top ten every year for the past century or more so is arguably "timeless" but no doubt many people on these boards would describe it as "dull").

You have no idea how your DC are going to feel about the names you choose for them, but you shouldn't assume that they would want an unusual or "less fashionable" name just so that they are the only one in their circle of friends. My DC have names that we loved (no consideration of popularity by us) and my ds happened to be top 10 but my dd happened to be outside the top 500 when we chose them.

YouGrateMyCheese · 31/01/2014 22:18

Well I actually had the opposite reaction of your son's, Mrsindecision. When I was a teen I went to school with an Anne, Helen, Charlotte, Jane, Eleanor and Millie - all very unusual (and considered "dated") when they were born in the early 80s. I remember thinking how refreshing their names were. (The fact that some of them were the most popular girls at school probably didn't hurt!) They stood out, but in a very positive way. (To me!)

My parents chose a name for me that hasn't been in the top 100 since the 1930s. They certainly did not choose it solely because they wanted an "unusual or less fashionable name." They chose it because my mother fell in love with it at age 6, and had the immense good luck to be able to use it 30 years later. Thank goodness we don't all have the same tastes in names - what a boring world that would be.

sleepingbeautiful · 31/01/2014 23:08

It's not just the being one of 3+ kids in the class with the same name, it's also if you end up with a name that dates you strongly to a 5ish year period for birth. I have one of those names and it's very annoying. For example Emily is always popular so might have duplicates in class but won't be dated by a blip of popularity. Isla is suddenly popular out of the blue so risks dating the child.

PP I don't think Anne, Helen, Jane, Eleanor, Charlotte were at all dated or unusual then! I went to school with multiples of each born in late 70s, early 80s.

Mrsindecision · 31/01/2014 23:13

That's exactly my point YouGrateMyCheese, you have no idea what your dc's future preference will be when they are born - one may like to "blend in" name wise, whereas the next one may like to stand out. Ultimately you have to make that decision for them - choose a name YOU like and hope that they will too. That's why one of my DC has a top 10 name and one has name outside the top 500 - we chose the names we liked the most at the time and fortunately for us, our DC appear to be happy with our choices (for now). I would say that my ds is very confident and popular within his peer group and I certainly don't think his "popular" name has had any impact on that either way.

Fwiw, I checked the stats of the names you mentioned in your post and both Helen and Charlotte were ranked in the top 20s in 1984 (so in Mumsnet terms would be considered WAY too popular for use!) Eleanor ranked at number 76 and Jane number 86, so certainly not as unusual as you may think. The only ones outside the Top 100 of those mentioned were Anne (but Anna was ranked at number 39), and Millie.

YouGrateMyCheese · 31/01/2014 23:39

Aw, I should have specified. I went to high school in the United States, so I was using U.S. data. In 1984, Helen was at 281. Anne ranked at 127, Jane at 323, Charlotte at 306, Eleanor waaaaay down at 686 and Millie wasn't even in the top 1,000! None of them cracked the top 100, with only Anne coming close. So, in America, by the time those girls hit the teens their names were pretty rare for their age group. Out of our graduating class of about 350, none of those girls shared their name with anyone else.

Chocpudding · 01/02/2014 09:56

I LOVE having an unusual name. I hope my children can have one too.

Mrsindecision · 01/02/2014 10:28

See, whilst chocpudding loved her unusual name, Ziplex hated hers (and has therefore chosen a very "normal" name for her ds as a result) - it can go either way!

Are you still very confused OP? When are you due?

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