Why does it bother me/others

[OwlBeThereForYou]

Ok so I can't sleep and I'm not switching off, so I'm just wondering...why is there such a big deal made about the popularity of a name?
I mean I get that we want our children to be unique but they're going to be themselves regardless of how many there was in their class. I'm talking from someone with a fairly popular name, usually at least two in my classes etc, and apart from being a little irritating on occasion (not often really) it hasn't seemed to harm me.
So why does it seem to be such an issue...and for me too!? One of the names we like is in the top 10 and it's putting me off. But we don't personally know any at all! And I also think that we could go for a name that's currently 400 something, and it become popular quickly and therefore 'start the trend' iyswim!
Anyway this is a ridiculously long post for a 'wondering'...please blame the not sleeping and pregnancy hormones

[JRmumma]

My problem with top 10 names was that they sound dull when you hear of several children that have been given the same name. However, once you really know the children, you don't think about their name at all. Its just a name. In adults, ive NEVER thought 'oh ANOTHER Claire/Steve' etc. I just don't think its a real issue once you get past the fact that you want your little bundle of joy to sound like the best baby in the world, and not blend in to the pack.

[CantQuiteBelieveIt]

Names are supposed to identify us, but, as someone with a v common name, can't say it's ever been much of an issue. And think how much harder it would have been when everyone was called John, George or Henry, Mary, Margaret or Anne! And people coped

I have chosen v popular, but classic names for my dc. I really didn't want to worry about name fads, although I knew (shock horror!) that we would encounter other children with the same name from time to time.

Thus I have smugly avoided the situation several of my friends are in, whereby they went for names (eg Oscar, Leo, Violet) which they thought were cool and original, only to find that the rest of the world had cottoned onto those names at exactly the same time. Leaving them heartbroken every time they come across a child with the same name

[mylittlesunshine]

I'm a Claire , there was 4 of us in my primary school class and even more in our high school year group. I hated my name, I hated always being known as first and second name and was so so jealous of friends with names that weren't as popular.

I wouldn't not choose a name because it is on the top ten list but I would try and steer away from the ones I know many of in this area such as Isabelle, Jacob, Joshua, Ellie, Jessica. There seems to be a lot of names beginning with K in this area such as Kieron's, Kane's, Kian's so I would avoid those too.

[MrsBungle]

I've always liked having a name that's not very abundant! I've only met one other, no others at school and I don't work with any others.

My nephews have to write their full names out even Harry s won't do as there are two other Harry s's in the class - I preferred names that are much less abundant. Personal choice I suppose. My kids names are top 100 but not top 50.

[hubbahubster]

I just want to avoid the scenario I had at school, being 'Sue A' because there was a Sue B and a Sue C in my class (name's not Sue but you know what I mean) because I personally hated it. But I don't think it's an issue for everyone, just as some people aren't bothered if their DC have similar sounding names or the same initial or whatever.

My own mother's obsession was with names that couldn't be shortened. I actually love names that have a nickname ;)

[AprilS]

At my small high school there was 6 girls with the same name as me in my year. Three of them within my friend group. It was quite annoying so if I can avoid this with my kids then I will.

I'm not completely obsessed with having something totally unique though. We have a rather unusual boys name chosen and I heard a friend of a friend has used this name. It didn't make me want to use the name any less it just gave me a lovely warm feeling inside that someone else chose the same name.

[notadoctor]

I have a name that was very popular at the time I was at school - there was always at least 2 of us in the class and it never bothered me at all.

[DisneyAddict88]

when choosing dd's names we wanted something slightly unusual so they wouldn't be 1 of many in a class. so their names are ones which most people have heard just not commonly used.

however dd2 we met a little girl with the same name and only couple months difference despite never meeting anyone else before!!

[Britishseamonkey]

I didn't meet anyone with my name until I was in my twenties. Now is is hugely hugely popular. People still compliment me as it is a lovely name regardless. And I got to be a trend setter ( or rather - my mum did) maybe It matters more to the parent- in terms of the kudos of choosing a new baby's name - the process for the parents as it were. I don't think it actually matters to the child as he/she grows up

[OwlBeThereForYou]

I think I'm even more so Mrsindecision! Deep down I think we'll go with what we like regardless of popularity really but I still over think it! 15 weeks to go, 15 weeks to over think and worry ha!

[Mrsindecision]

See, whilst chocpudding loved her unusual name, Ziplex hated hers (and has therefore chosen a very "normal" name for her ds as a result) - it can go either way!

Are you still very confused OP? When are you due?

[Chocpudding]

I LOVE having an unusual name. I hope my children can have one too.

[YouGrateMyCheese]

Aw, I should have specified. I went to high school in the United States, so I was using U.S. data. In 1984, Helen was at 281. Anne ranked at 127, Jane at 323, Charlotte at 306, Eleanor waaaaay down at 686 and Millie wasn't even in the top 1,000! None of them cracked the top 100, with only Anne coming close. So, in America, by the time those girls hit the teens their names were pretty rare for their age group. Out of our graduating class of about 350, none of those girls shared their name with anyone else.

[Mrsindecision]

That's exactly my point YouGrateMyCheese, you have no idea what your dc's future preference will be when they are born - one may like to "blend in" name wise, whereas the next one may like to stand out. Ultimately you have to make that decision for them - choose a name YOU like and hope that they will too. That's why one of my DC has a top 10 name and one has name outside the top 500 - we chose the names we liked the most at the time and fortunately for us, our DC appear to be happy with our choices (for now). I would say that my ds is very confident and popular within his peer group and I certainly don't think his "popular" name has had any impact on that either way.

Fwiw, I checked the stats of the names you mentioned in your post and both Helen and Charlotte were ranked in the top 20s in 1984 (so in Mumsnet terms would be considered WAY too popular for use!) Eleanor ranked at number 76 and Jane number 86, so certainly not as unusual as you may think. The only ones outside the Top 100 of those mentioned were Anne (but Anna was ranked at number 39), and Millie.

[sleepingbeautiful]

It's not just the being one of 3+ kids in the class with the same name, it's also if you end up with a name that dates you strongly to a 5ish year period for birth. I have one of those names and it's very annoying. For example Emily is always popular so might have duplicates in class but won't be dated by a blip of popularity. Isla is suddenly popular out of the blue so risks dating the child.

PP I don't think Anne, Helen, Jane, Eleanor, Charlotte were at all dated or unusual then! I went to school with multiples of each born in late 70s, early 80s.

[YouGrateMyCheese]

Well I actually had the opposite reaction of your son's, Mrsindecision. When I was a teen I went to school with an Anne, Helen, Charlotte, Jane, Eleanor and Millie - all very unusual (and considered "dated") when they were born in the early 80s. I remember thinking how refreshing their names were. (The fact that some of them were the most popular girls at school probably didn't hurt!) They stood out, but in a very positive way. (To me!)

My parents chose a name for me that hasn't been in the top 100 since the 1930s. They certainly did not choose it solely because they wanted an "unusual or less fashionable name." They chose it because my mother fell in love with it at age 6, and had the immense good luck to be able to use it 30 years later. Thank goodness we don't all have the same tastes in names - what a boring world that would be.

[Mrsindecision]

"Test of time"? "Best names"? All very subjective frankly imo. Anne and Jane sound dated to my ear so arguably don't pass my "test". Tastes change and I don't see anything wrong with embracing the era you are in at the time of naming a child. My ds (early teens) has a few friends with names that were very common in the 1970s but which are very unusual now and only the other day he said how odd he found someone of his age having these names and that they were fine for "older people" but strange on someone his age. He then said he loved his name and was very pleased we chose it for him (his name has been in the top ten every year for the past century or more so is arguably "timeless" but no doubt many people on these boards would describe it as "dull").

You have no idea how your DC are going to feel about the names you choose for them, but you shouldn't assume that they would want an unusual or "less fashionable" name just so that they are the only one in their circle of friends. My DC have names that we loved (no consideration of popularity by us) and my ds happened to be top 10 but my dd happened to be outside the top 500 when we chose them.

[tammytoby]

Absolutely. Avoiding a trendy/popular name does not mean giving your child a made-up obscure combination of letters. There are literally 1000s of underused lovely classics out there. Not everyone will love them (yes, names are popular for a reason - they are in fashion...!) but they are likely to stand the test of time much better and, more importantly, are likely to identify your child more easily.

[YouGrateMyCheese]

Exactly, tammytoby. The best names are often those that are easily recognizable but not widely shared. A unique name doesn't have to be "try-hard" or strange. A baby girl today named Jane or Anne would be a breath of fresh air.

[tammytoby]

Names are meant to identify us and, as other posters have said, not just in school but for the whole of your life. We're having some building work done and about 80% of the builders are called Steve! Very confusing!

There are so, so many names to choose from. Yes, it can be hard to resist the current 'fashion' but if you look outside the currently trendy names you'll find lots of normal, lovely timeless names!

[BettyMacdonald]

I was the only one in my primary school with my name and one of two in my entire secondary school - strangely enough we were in the same class and we're very good friends I like the identity my name has mostly given me in that I don't know any others, apart from my friend, my age. That said, it was madly popular a few years ago so there are now loads running around! When it came to naming DS1 we went for a name that everyone's heard of but was ranked about 690 in the 'name charts'. Two years after he was born it rocketed to about number 12 and there are loads. Totally irrational I know but I'm ! If I have a 4th I'm going to call him Englebert

[TamerB]

I always had someone with my names in the class all through school. It didn't bother me. What gives me a wry smile is the parent who thinks they were being highly original in name and then gets another in the same class!
If I like it popularity isn't going to put me off.

[Finabhear]

Even if you chose the top name only one in a hundred children of the same sex will have that name.

[BananaHammocks]

Aaaargh why do people keep going on about school! Your children won't be in school for much of their life! They might go to uni in a different area where the name is more popular or work in a office with people up to 50 years older/younger than them! That's why I look at popularity and not just for this year!