The issue of middle names....

[Writerwannabe83]

My husband has somehow managed to convince me that our soon-to-be son's middle name will be his own father's name such as is tradition. I was really anti the idea at the time as I don't want an 'old name' as a middle name but I have since relented and accepted my baby's fate

The compromise we came to is that baby will have 2 middle names and I get to choose the other. Brilliant, I thought....except I have no idea what to go for I know a lot of people say middle names should be 'family' names and have meaning, so would it be fickle to just pick a random name simply because I liked it? Part of me is also feeling that as one middle name is DH's dad's name, the 2nd middle name should be my dad's name so to avoid any issues of 'favouritism'? But then baby will have two 'old names' in his name.

Our favourite name so far for our little boy is Arran, so he will be Arran John (another middle name) and our surname, which is one syllable being with a W. I really like the name Harrison you see but don't know if it works as a middle name.

Why is naming a baby such a minefield??
How can it cause such angst??

There's nothing wrong with just picking a name that you like. Also, nothing wrong with honouring a family member but I feel you should at least like the name. If not have you thought of using a variant of the name such as Jack, Euan, Evan, Ivan (i'm sure there must be loads of others too, especially as another vowel name might not work or may need a different order) or spelling it Jon for a more modern feel?

Most people willjust call him Arran anyway.
Choose whatever name you want.Could you use a nickname/different form of ypur dads name? Or you could always promise your Dad middle name on ds2!!
Dont forget though that what is old fashioned now may be cutting edge cool in 10 years

In dds life I think I have called her her full name once. Therefore I wouldnt spare too much thought about it 'going'. I had two names picked for dd so we used one as a FN and one as a MN. No honouring family members here.

However, if he is having one grandparents name in there it would be nice to have another one. Or ask your dad to choose - then his involvement is there.

massively outing myself here, but my middle names are George (my grandad) and Michael (my dad) in that order.

So rest assured whatever you choose to do, it wont be as bad as that (or my own son who has his dad's middle names)

Harrison is a decent choice for a middle name in your instance, a couple of syllablies to break up the one syllable first second and surnames is nice.

I like my two middle names, I like signing off with "XGM Surname" makes me sound posh!

sorry, I meand 2:1:2:1 syllables - which is nice to say...

also agree with asking your dad what he thinks.

The problem is that my dad will be really up for it - what Grandad wouldn't want their name to be used as their descendant's middle name??

And once the offer is on the table it means I'm stuck with it

I'm also worried that Arran and Harrison have similar sounds so wouldn't work?

No honouring family members here either.
We chose not to give our DS an awful middle name with happens to be my DH name, his fathers, grandfathers, great grandfathers etc etc.
Just picked a random name we liked.

I would just call him Arran John W-Surname . It is long enough as it is and you can save the name Harrison for another time You could even give a little girl the name Harrison as a middle name.

whenwhywhere - this may sound really strange but I just can't have a baby with only John as his middle name - I don't want to say my child's name and have 2/3rds of it be the same name as my FIL's name I know that sounds insane but I want my son to have his own form of identity, not have a name that is automatically associated with his Grandad when I say 'Arran John Surname' all I can think about and picture is my FIL and I don't want that for the rest of my life, I know I'm crazy!!

Ps) the chance of their being a 'next time' is extremely, extremely slim. Almost non-existent really

Your maiden name as a middle name?
I still use mine for most things, but didn't want to double-barrel, so my son has it for his second middle name.

It's interesting you say that callamia because I'd never heard of that concept before but my friend just had a baby girl and when naming her gave her own surname as the middle name. My friend isn't married to the father but does have his surname, so my friend wanted her own surname in there too. She didn't want a double barrelled surname so instead did what you suggested. And oddly enough it works really well - her surname, and daughter's middle name is Stone.

Unfortunately, I don't like my maiden name and it would make a ridiculous middle name

Another reason I'm apprehensive about Arran John is that I'm aware people may start calling him AJ. My husband sees no problem with this, and actually quite likes the idea, whereas I'm a bit more unsure about it. I know nicknames can't be controlled though and if it happens, it happens

Ps) typo error in my post above: I meant that although my friend isn't married to the baby's father, the baby still has his surname My friend doesn't have his surname obviously

I used my maiden name for my first dc.
It's not a pretty name or whatever - the important thing for me was he'd have a connection to his wider family. His first name is the one that will be said aloud - that was the one I agonised over!

thegreathunt - apart from my dad, the rest of the wider family on his side (I.e his relatives with my previous surname) are not people I'd be at all bothered about my son having a link with To say my dad's side of the family is dysfunctional is an understatement! I would much prefer to give a name that links him to my mum's side of the family actually, I will have to have a look back through her family tree for any inspiring names

WriterWannabe. That sounds like a really good reason for having an extra middle name. . I think Harrison would be a great middle name then.

What about yourMums maiden name?

I'm glad you like Harrison and don't think it sounds weird It was originally going to be our chosen first name until DH suddenly plucked Arran out of somewhere

WWW - my mums maiden name is pretty silly and as Sods Law would have it, her dad's name is also John which means if I used her family name as a second name my baby's name would still have the full name of one of his Grandad's in there (albeit his great grandad)

I have a feeling when we announce the baby's name my Grandad (my mum's dad) will think the John is in reference to him anyway

I think the main point of a middle name is that the child can swop to using that name if he doesn't like his first name. I know a few people who have actually done that. So I would choose a different type of name for the middle name - eg if the first one is fancy, make the middle name plainer or one that is more commonly used. Rather than using someone else's name which may not even be a nice name, or another fancy name because you the parent happen to like fancy names (he the child may not).

Arran John Harris W.... instead of Harrison?

I have never classed Harris as a real name.....not sure why....
Maybe it's because I have never met or heard of one?

I know several, it is a name!

..although it is another island so your son would have two island names :)

- I certainly don't dislike it, it's just never occurred to me. I will definitely have a think about it. I just feel that a longer name might be be better as the other names are only 1 & 2 syllables...it all just sounds a bit blunt.

I'm another one who is going to use my maiden (and current surname as I didn't change my name when I got married) for our son's second middle name. Think that any subsequent children we have will all have my surname as their second middle name.

Think the idea of you looking back through your mum's family tree for a nice sounding name (either first or second) is really good.

Well I have open to my mom and would you believe it, there have been no males born directly into our family for the last 4 generations My Great-Grandma had 2 brothers but they were both disowned from the family for carrying out some very bad behaviours. There are obviously men in the family tree but they aren't our blood line as such, just the men who married the women who are.

My 5 year old niece has asked me repeatedly if we can call the baby Brian, which is the name of one of my cats. I explained that her if would be confusing having two Brian's in the house but she's adamant it will be fine. Maybe I'll suggest it to my DH as the 2nd middle name instead...