The issue of middle names....

[Writerwannabe83]

My husband has somehow managed to convince me that our soon-to-be son's middle name will be his own father's name such as is tradition. I was really anti the idea at the time as I don't want an 'old name' as a middle name but I have since relented and accepted my baby's fate

The compromise we came to is that baby will have 2 middle names and I get to choose the other. Brilliant, I thought....except I have no idea what to go for I know a lot of people say middle names should be 'family' names and have meaning, so would it be fickle to just pick a random name simply because I liked it? Part of me is also feeling that as one middle name is DH's dad's name, the 2nd middle name should be my dad's name so to avoid any issues of 'favouritism'? But then baby will have two 'old names' in his name.

Our favourite name so far for our little boy is Arran, so he will be Arran John (another middle name) and our surname, which is one syllable being with a W. I really like the name Harrison you see but don't know if it works as a middle name.

Why is naming a baby such a minefield??
How can it cause such angst??

Is there a very old family name that hasn't been continued from those generations ago? Might be time for a resurrection.

Personally I like mns to be after family. However I know others are not that keen on this.

John however is a perfectly decent mn not offensive or something people will think odd.

I don't care for Harrison and I think it sounds odd with Arron

Not sure why you feel your dads name is out (And how about next time if you have another boy will he feel left out if his name is not used?)

Could your mothers name be used in its masculine form? (Like if she is Patricia - Patrick ) Or a grandmothers like this?

With my children

dd1 with her mn is named after my paternal grandmother & mil as the English form of this Danish name is a variant of Mils MN.

DD 2 is named after my SIL (mostly because they name just went perfectly with the First name)

DS after Bil (who died many years before I got to know DH)

DD3 after my step grandfather she has the feminine version of his name as hers.

for 2nd mn they all have the maiden name of FIL's mother (that went down VERY well with everyone on that side of the family )

Close friend simply picked 2 names they really liked

Another set of friends agreed on a first name then each picked their personal favourite as a mn..

Thank you for all your thoughts Frik - my main issue is that I want a name that I like, not some name that I'm not fond of just because someone else in the family is named it. That's an interesting idea about using a masculine form of my mom's name (another concept I've never heard off) but again, the problem would be that I just don't like it. If we were having a girl it was always planned my mother's name would be the baby's middle name hence why my husband has had his way with his father's name being our son's middle name. It is extremely unlikely there will be another baby after this one and even if there were, he still wouldn't have my father's name as his middle name because I'm just not keen on it my dad did once suggest using his own middle name (as opposed to his first name) as the baby's surname but I told him no way (it's a name that just isn't anymore and one I don't particularly like) and he didn't seem to mind, he laughed it off

I think if you've thought long and hard (which it sounds like you have) and still don't like John, you should scrap it and find a middle name(s) that you both like.

I'm in a similar discussion with DH who would like to use his fathers name (which I don't like) and using my fathers name to 'balance it out' won't help as I don't like that name either so we've decided to scrap this idea and find something we both like.

It sounds silly but I don't want anything to put a dampner of the birth of my next child and I can't help thinking that giving it a name that I really dislike would affect that experience - stupid really as I know I love him no matter what.

I have been thinking hard about it - maybe too hard and that's the problem, lol.

In my pregnancy insomnia I was going over this in my mind at about 02.00am and am now think ping I might use my dad's middle name as my sons middle name. I definitely don't want to use my dad's first name (sorry dad) but I'm softening towards his middle name, which is Michael.

Arran John Michael (surname beginning with W)

But aren't John and Michael the names of the two brothers in Peter Pan?

That sounds lovely, I know you said your dad wasn't fussed, but I bet he will be really chuffed if you used a bit of his name.

Michael is lovely.

I prefer it to Arran tbh.

But Arran John Michael is great imo.

Ahh thanks STBSG and diddly - the more I say it to myself the more I like it!!

I asked my sister if anything occurred to her when she heard the names John and Michael and straight away she said Peter Pan I'm just hoping one of the Lost Boys isn't called Arran (or a form of it) or people may think I have an obsession with the film.....

You never use your middle names so choose whatever you like and/or what means a lot to you!