We've finally agreed on names! And they are.....

[LuckyOwl28]

Joey Anthony

and

Bethany Megan

We've been trying to avoid too common or too modern, what do you all think? x

mathanxiety they aren't archaic views, they are reality.

Your name marks you out and people make a judgement before they even meet you. Just ask a teacher. When they take a look at their new class lists the Beyonces, Mavericks, T'Kia's are likely to be judged as being more trouble than the Williams, Sophie's and Alex's. And that follows them through life.

awbless - math was quoting someone else with that comment, hence the ' ' around the comment. I think she agrees with you. As do I.

somerset oh yes! I've now read the post properly and the following one! And maths put it far more eloquently than wot I did. Duh.

For the record I have the MOST common name ever and I do feel that it has hindered me professionally. I do have a chip on my shoulder about it.

My DM say "but there wasn't anyone called it when we named you"' well there soon was

I do agree with the fact that there will be lots of adult Poppy's etc by the time our children grow up, so there is a good chance employers will view certain names differently by then to how they might now.

But, regardless of career arguments, there are plenty of adults who would not want or feel happy with a cutesy name. You do need to use your 'formal' name quite frequently, and personally I would stick with a more neutral name - either Joseph or Joe.

I think the argument about Cv's/proper names etc is way OTT on this thread. She's calling him Joey, not a random made up name!!

Joseph is very very popular. There will be one in most classes. I teach two classes which each have 3 in! (These are 11yos).

Most Joes I know are nice lads tho. BTW re the lengthening, I know someone with a Joe and nursery staff etc often call him Joseph!

Bethany is also very popular, especially if you take in Bethan/Beth etc.

Ditto Megan.

All nice names tho, but not really fitting your "not common" plan.

Most important thing tho is that you both like them!

mathananxiety

Many companies are looking for a good fit, someone who would mix well, someone who would go down well with clients, someone who would 'work well with others' and match the culture. It's not all down to grades in school or other tangible elements of the CV that can be measured objectively against the CVs of others. If it came to a dead heat between one set of As and another, and similar experience, my money would be on Joseph to get the interview.

I agree with everything you wrote other than the bold part. A company that is going to make a professional decision based on a first name is not somewhere I would want my child to work in the first place, or myself for that matter. What happens if there is a tie between two Josephs? Do they move onto race? Age? All forms of discriminatory practice. I'm sure it does happen in some workplaces, but does that make it right? Does it mean I should change a name we love to something more formal just in case a future employer happens to be partial to the full name version?

It's a big chance to take. What if things don't change much?

I think they have already, maybe you need to keep up

Anyway, this is leading into a whole new debate. Like I said, we obviously have very different opinions on the matter and won't agree on this.

I must also add, we have not chosen the name after Joey from friends, and this reference to Joey being a derogatory name used in the 80s has gone completely over my head. If my generation aren't aware of it i'm sure by the time our baby hits the playground there will be something new.

I think Joe is OK-ish, but Joey does sound 'cute' and 'young' - it lacks gravitas, unlike some other abbreviated names. I do think it's only fair to give a child a choice of a more formal name if it's going to be called an 'abbreviation'-type name.

Also, Joey Anthony doesn't flow at all, IMO.

Bethany Megan is OK, although not to my taste. Beth is lovely, though.

Well if you think it's ok to dismiss the vast majority of potential employers from consideration, then go ahead, but I think it is unrealistic to think it is you who can choose which employer to work for. It is actually the employer who chooses, and they can (and do) choose the person they think will be the best fit, with 'fit' encompassing fitting in at the water cooler as well as in terms of qualifications.

As for a tie between two Josephs, then obviously one of them is gong to get the interview as more criteria will be applied. It still remains that Joey will probably not.

It doesn't actually matter whether it is 'right' or not. That is the way things work.

The thing is, Owl, it's not just about formal discrimination which is, and should be, illegal. It's more about intangible, gut reactions to things. Like it or not, probably quite a few prosective employers will (initially, in the early days when your DS is trying to break into the job market, at least) be a bit older and will be likely to make -even subconcious - judgements about a person on paper.

It's human nature. It happens. You can legislate for everything, but you can't control people's thoughts. I know that if I came across a CV for a Joey or an Alfie, I'd probably take them a little less seriously than someone with another name. It's not big and it's not clever, but it's how humans function. Joey and Alfie will already be on the back foot when applying for jobs because I've already made a tiny (probably incorrect) judgement about them.

I'm not saying that people will stick to their judgements and first impressions, regardless of the facts. They won't, unless they're a bit stupid. But first impressions - like it or not - are important. Why create a hurdle for your child where there doesn't really need to be one?

That's my thought process on the matter, anyway. :)

You are naming a man not a baby.

SomersetONeil

I completely agree about the gut instinct thing, but I'm of the opinion that by the time our son is applying for work, full or traditional names won't be as common. Joey may find himself among Beyonce, Quincy, Angel and Jenson! (These are all names of children I've worked with over the years, and I choose them specifically as they all come from what we'd call a 'middle class' family with professional, successful parents).

There are thouuussaands of jobs out there, and the type of employer who are going to discriminate/judge against first names are certainly in the minority so I won't lose too much sleep over it.

Of course I wouldn't want to create a 'hurdle' for my child; I have avoided names with derogatory connotations and ones that are hard to pronounce for this reason. I would also hate my child to share the same name as 4 others in their class!

OP i think if you have not yet been put off the name after all these comments then you must REALLY like the name and should go for it.

I also don't like the names (especially joey) but that's not important.

This is exactly why i intend to not tell a soul once I finally decide on a name.

ps. after all this i bet it's a girl now! :)

Unfortunately though, Joey DOES has many negative connotations. I too well remember its use as an insult back in the 80's. It may have been a long time ago but it was the first thing I thought of even after all these years!

I'm sorry. I refuse to believe, unless you give me a signed affidavit, that a middle class professional couple called their baby Beyonce.

I'm really quite shocked at all the fuss over the names, particularly Joey. It's really not that bad. There are far worse names about. If you love it, OP, go for it. It sounds like you will anyway. Good for you!

Angel and Jensen are actual names. One is a Hispanic boys' and one is Danish/Scandinavian. There is a difference between an ethnic name and an abbreviation. Quincy is also a real name, not an abbreviation. Beyonce means 'my mother made it up'.

I love the name Beth, but would put Bethany/Betha on the BC.

I love the name Meg, but would use Megan on the BC.

So I like you girls name. It is slightly dated abut 10yrs behind the trend but still very nice. It is very welsh sounding too.

I'm afraid I'm in the Joey is a fine cutesy nickname but you need a more formal alternative for occasions when that is required camp.

There really are a few occasions when a proper formal name is much more appropriate than the cutesy nickname you used as a child. It's good to have that option and I can imagine your son slightly resenting that as an adult when he'd like to project some gravitas on occasions and has to introduce himself as Joey.

This is a frequent debate on here.

ladymia

You're right, it will probably be a girl now after all the fuss lol
We aren't telling any family members or friends to avoid any negative reaction before baby arrives. I can handle it from opinionated strangers on a forum

seeker

You better start believing lol! Beyonce had a younger sister called Starr - Mum held a senior position at a bank and Dad was a marketing exec always working abroad.

Ham69

Thank you! I think I will lol xx

Why did you ask "what do you all think" if you don't actually care what other opinions are?

SoupDragon

i think I've mentioned previously that I got carried away with excitement that we had finally agreed on names and felt compelled to post. I suppose I asked out of interest, but the responses were never going change our minds.

I'd be here forever if I was basing our decision on what a load of netmums had to say wouldn't I! Some comments have been interesting and food for thought, others have been tactless and verging on rude but hey! we love the names and if anything defending them has only made me love them more

The insult came about as the result of a Blue Peter programme in the 80s that championed the life of Joey Deacon, who had cerebral palsy. As kids we were all supposed to be in awe of his achievements and his valiant struggle against severe disability and prejudice. In reality, everyone went to school the next day and started calling anyone who made a mistake a 'Joey', accompanied by face-pulling. It was so widespread at the time. But, actually, he was a pretty amazing chap - so why not name your baby after him? (And if we want to get really picky, his real name was actually Joseph anyway! )

I like Joel Anthony, nn Joey as others have suggested. That way you have another option if your child ends up in a class with three Josephs, all known as Joe or Joey. (You may have underestimated what a popular name Joseph is, and hence the Joey nickname that goes with it.) It also means that no-one can have any excuse for assuming his name must be short for Joseph!

Ah yes, those Joey Deacon references just went on and on in the early 80's!

Well there's your mistake right there -- this isn't Netmums.