Have you/would you change your own first name?

[MadBusLady]

WWYD? I hate my first name. I've always hated it. It sounds ugly to me, it has an atypical spelling which means I'm constantly correcting people, and I was teased about it at primary school which I remember vividly for some reason. I actually sound apologetic when I introduce myself, which probably sets the tone for many interactions I happen to have a totally kick-ass surname, and seriously I prefer it when people call me that!

Every few years I get worked up about it and wonder if I should change it, but maybe it is too late now (I am early 30s)? Has anyone ever done this or wanted to? Is it just a totally pretentious and weird thing to do? Have you ever known a case of a namechange leading to everlasting happiness, confidence, weight loss, world domination etc?

Lots of good advice here! I'm very grateful for all your help, I wasn't sure whether I was even posting on the right board with this one

BuntyPenfold I actually find the way you've done it appealing - having said yesterday a complete break would be best! I like the low-key idea of using a new "public" name in future (also similar to what mummypig suggests). I think sweetpea and others are right that I'd find the change pretty stressful in itself, so just being "Alice" in the future might be a cheaty way to get traction, as it were. Then if I like it and find it's working, I can present it much more as a fait accompli to existing friends/family. But I wouldn't mind too much remaining Alix to family really. Families tend to hang on to lots of no longer applicable old rubbish about us after all .

JoanofArchitrave I really do like Alice. I look a bit like an Alice IYKWIM. I don't absolutely love it but then I don't love any name. I think it flows better with my middle name and surname than Alix. The fact that it's not too much of a change is also appealing psychologically - it's still basically the same name, just shorn of the elements that have always bothered me.

By the way, for anyone who has used it or is thinking of doing so I think most little girls now would have far less trouble with it in the future than I did. (Downbythewater mentions knowing an Alix and so did someone else as evidence that it's getting more common; well maybe, but it occurs to me you might know the same Alix and it may or may not be me ) But generally non gender-specific names seem to be more widespread now, and people are slightly more accustomed to coming across new unfamiliar names (more accustomed than they were in the stuffy white enclave where I grew up anyway).

Therapy/confidence etc. Hmm. Therapy has been very useful for lots of things, but I can't see it unpicking this particular problem tbh. It seems to me I might be better off cutting the Gordian knot of the actual name. It's not like I lack self-awareness about where these issues have come from (as I've laid it out in this thread). I'm looking at this pragmatically - I KNOW it is not objectively a bad name, because these things are always subjective. But I can either spend years and £££ trying to persuade myself to a different subjective viewpoint, or I can just say "sod it" and get rid of the damn thing. I don't think amillionyears is wrong about the "one less thing to fret over".

Argh, sorry about the essay. Thanks again all.

MagdalenaAlex Of course part of the problem may be that I am not remotely cool . I'm really not, I'm so square! I'd avoid cool names just in case (as is probable) my kids turn out to be total geeks as well.

Aouch.. I have to say I am bit concerned about DS' name, which is Alec - not Alex ;) We had strong reasons to use it but are currently more and more aware that it may v well become a burden for him. Hope he will like it..

MagdalenaAleC

I blame the topic under discussion...

For what it's worth, I think Alix is a really nice name!

I have always wanted to change my name I dislike it, its common. I considered using one of my middle names instead as they are far more classic and I prefer them. However, I've never changed it as haven't wanted to upset my mother.

Interesting thread...I know two people who have changed their name. One did it about 25 years ago after getting divorced, long before I met her...when she talks about her life before she did it she refers to herself in the third person, which is a bit mind-boggling, but shows you how a big a deal changing your name is. Not surprisingly after all this time, everybody calls her by her chosen name.

The other converted to Islam a few years and took a new name accordingly. Her family use her old and new names interchangeably.

Sorry, a few years ago.

I did it last year, I've been known to friends by the dimminutive of my name (which also had a chavvy 'different' spelling) and now that is what is on my passport and driving licence, it was already on degree certificate and bank accounts so now everything is in the same name.

I used a free deedpoll. if you pm an email I can send you the text.