Have you/would you change your own first name?

[MadBusLady]

WWYD? I hate my first name. I've always hated it. It sounds ugly to me, it has an atypical spelling which means I'm constantly correcting people, and I was teased about it at primary school which I remember vividly for some reason. I actually sound apologetic when I introduce myself, which probably sets the tone for many interactions I happen to have a totally kick-ass surname, and seriously I prefer it when people call me that!

Every few years I get worked up about it and wonder if I should change it, but maybe it is too late now (I am early 30s)? Has anyone ever done this or wanted to? Is it just a totally pretentious and weird thing to do? Have you ever known a case of a namechange leading to everlasting happiness, confidence, weight loss, world domination etc?

Yes, that sort of stuff can definitely affect you when you're young and just trying to fit it My first name has never been a problem (in fact, if you are going to change yours, feel free to use mine, it's Kate ) but my maiden name was horrific. Hard to spell, hard to say, with some very horrible sounds in it which were used to tease One of the highlights of getting married was that I could get rid of it So I can definitely understand how you feel about that. I also struggled with a middle name that was a boys name (and an unattractive one at that!), but thankfully it was a second middle name, so I have kind of dropped it now except for official documents
I know I said I like it and that you shouldn't change it, but I'd you really feel that strongly, you should. I know that my self esteem took a massive boost when I got married due to the surname change, especially as I moved at the same time, so a lot of friends, work colleagues etc will never know what my old surname was

A relative of mine changed his name by deedpoll.and he was 60!He had never liked his original name.But he actually went the other way from you.He had a fairly long name,and changed it to a short name which used up some of the letters from his original name iyswim.Trouble was,some of his older relatives refused to call him by his new name,so he ended up half the time being called by his new name,and half the time by his old name.
But he never regretted it.
Think he did it by deed poll.I assume he could always have changed it again.Dont know if you can do that,or if there is a cost involved.

Go for it - I think the change from Alix to Alice sounds very workable, and your work situation ideal for it. As the names are similar sounding it won't matter so much if there are still a few people who use the old one, and switching won't be as weird to people as if you go for something totally and utterly different.

I've never liked my name - it's gender neutral and can also be a surname, and I always remember the first time I went away on an activity holiday without my parents and the instructors all decided to make comments like "What a big man you were when you climbed Everest" Its also very dated and not pretty sounding at all. I was very self concious introducing myself as a teen and had things happen like a couple of boys coming to chat me and my friend up, and when I said my name the one talking to me asked his friend to "swap" (yes I know they were clearly total idiots we were best running a mile from, but it's not pleasant when you're 13 or so!!)

My sisters also oddly got nice normal names... My mother claims I liked my name as a child - if I did it must have been as a very small child indeed... but tbh I just never mentioned not liking it to her til a conversation we had when I was pregnant with DC3, during which she was regaling me at length with her brilliant decision in choosing my name, and how much I have always loved it

All that said I am 37 and feel I should have changed my name when I went to uni, or before that on my year off, or straight after when I first started work... or at one of the other landmark changes that happen in your late teens and early 20s, it feels too late now, especially as we have lived where we do now for years and nobody would "get it" if I decided to change it now...

I have always been known by the third of my three Christian names-I have never liked it-not horrible just a bit...meh!
When I was a student and for a while afterwards I used my first name but my family and school friends just couldn't remember so for a while one group of people knew me as V.. and one group as S....
I married someone who had known me at school so just gave up and went bak to V..
However my present dh always uses a diminutive of S.... as a nn for me :)

Englishwoman your name was one I longed to be called when I was young [I think I am right]H..... was on my list for dd but dh wasn't keen.

I love Alix! Its a strong name, not a girly girl name, but the name of a person who knows her mind and people dont mess with! I like the fact it's quite a unisex name too. Didnt the Rolling Stone call his daughter Dandelion, but she prefers to call herself Angela??? My own name has so many variations, nicknames and diminutives, people often say What is your name? - and I reply I dont know! I d really like a nice straight forward name, just that little bit different like Alix. Do you wanna swap names with me??

I have changed my name, but parents and siblings still use my real first name. I don't mind this, I didn't expect them to change.
Friends, neighbours and colleagues all know me as my chosen, completely different name.
My chosen name is classic and simple.
My given name is ugly, harsh-sounding, and hard to spell. It prompts the questions 'really?' 'you must be Irish?' 'are you a catholic?' 'are you frigid?' (yes, really) with monotonous regularity.
In answer to your query regarding everlasting happiness, confidence, weight loss and world domination - yes!

I have two perspectives on this. Firstly, Alix is my daughter's name and I think it's lovely- I've never thought of it as 'wacky' and we've never had any negative comments.

However, I can sympathise with having negative emotional baggage attached to your name due to bullying as that happened to me. I also felt that my original name was too 'flowery' and didn't suit me. At age 18 I changed my name by deed poll (keeping my original first name as a middle name, in respect of my parents' feelings I chose not to totally discard it. ) I have never regretted changing my name for a moment. There is something very empowering about choosing one's own name and it does make a difference to be able to introduce yourself without the memories of bullying ringing in your ears. If you want a change, go for it.

I've gone through endless variations of my name as nicknames (think Georgina - Georgie - George - Gina), and realised this year that I just don't actually like it.

But I can date people in my past by which nickname they call me!

I would quite like to be known as my middle name rather than my first. In my 30s now though so feel it is a little late.

I knew a man who changed his name in his early 20s. He had a name that was incredibly popular a few years before he was born, so much so that it unfortunately became a bit of a joke... a great name in its way, but he couldn't affect people's reactions to it. So he just changed it - to his middle name which is timeless and has never been fashionable or out of fashion. he went the legal route, and as people greeted him he just said 'Hi! Just to let you know, my name is X now'. I lost touch with him so don't know how it affected him. I know several people with his original name who haven't been bothered by it, but that's not the point.

I have always liked my first name, and I still enjoy it now. I sometimes feel it's a bit feminine for me, I almost don't feel pretty enough for it, but it's certainly possible to feel happy with your name.

Do you really want to be Alice or do you think it sounds like less of a change? My own view would be, if you're going to change your name it would actually be easier to go with a name that sounds different. So my advice would be only to change to Alice if it's a name that you feel really suits you.

I am a Mary, but not really religious, (my mother is protestant) not Irish, not in my 80s, but people assume all of those. When I became Mrs Mary xxx I aged about 30 years overnight.

I have always hated it because it carries so many connotations. If I did change, it would be for my middle name - Alice! (thoroughly outed myself there) but I am now in my mid-thirties, and there are so many other things I could change which matter more than other peoples' initial reactions. When they are used to me, they know what I am like, and the name doesn't matter. I can only assume that the same applies to everyone.

Have you though about just having a professional name - and just using it at work. I can't think anyone would have a problem about that.

For what it's worth, I love the name Alix! I've always thought it's really sophisticated. However, I can understand that it is unusual for people who come across it for the first time and that has obviously had a negative effect on you over the years.

I definitely don't think it's too late to change your name - especially to Alice. Why don't you do it by Deed Poll on your birthday as a bday present to yourself! Alice is also a very lovely name btw.

The only concern I would have is that you will have to explain to a lot of people (not just friends and relatives, but bank, hairdresser, gas supplier etc etc) that you have changed your name and will no doubt then get questioned as to why. If you are already sensitive/anxious about the whole name thing, would this cause more distress for you?

As an alternative, (and this may sound weird) have you considered getting some therapy to deal with your feelings? A lot of people end up with anxiety/issues about things that stem from their childhood (I think you mention the name thing becoming a particular issue around the age of 10) and this can be dealt with through CBT or hypnotherapy. Many people have to spell and correct people on their names, but they don't necessary associate negative feelings with it as you do. If you could change your internal response, then maybe it wouldn't be such a big issue any more. Just a thought! x

Reading the title of your thread, I was a bit surprised when you said your name was Alix, I have always thought of this name as very elegant, rare but not too unusual and with nice historical references. One of my all time favorites! But then again, it might be a French thing..

I do not think that a name should influence who you are and do not believe that people make assumptions about you personality when seeing your name (except maybe "class" associations in the UK?). My mouthful of a first name is hyphenated and Magdalena is only its second part, but I have chosen as a teen to be addressed by it only (2/4 of my siblings did the same, btw, we all have that kind of odd names). My middle names are a lot worse than that (even includes Pauline...) so not many options available here since you cannot change your name in France except through a very long legal process.

There are only my parents now who call me by my "entire" first name now, everyone else seems to be relieved to have 4 syllables to say instead of 6.
Weirdly enough when choosing DS' name, I agreed to go with a first name with high teasing potential in the US and added 2 "normal" mn in case he would rather use any of them later. Probably made a wiser choice with DD whose first mn is her only "weird" name.

Perhaps you should try asking people to call you Alice, just to see if it would work for you? Going for the closest name may not be what you are looking for, since you mentioned you expected a complete change of "life" from it.
Oh and about "wacky" names: I have always thought that it was nice, it shows how much the baby was special to the parents.

thegreylady I think my self conciousness about my name was made worse by where my parents moved the family to in the middle of my childhood - very, erm, "down to earth" place, rural, we were already "incomers" and everyone was called Sarah or Fiona or Emma or, if they were a bit posh maybe Catherine or Elizabeth ... my name got "You're not from 'round 'ere are ya?" ... Ironically I live overseas and am beyond a shadow of a doubt "not from 'round here".

It has given me a preference for classic names that are gender specific, at least in their full form - I hate, hate, hated people not knowing whether a girl or a boy was going to turn up from my name too, and getting post addressed to Mr as a teen - again it wasn't usual to have a gender neutral name, I expect it's fine for kids now that it is more common; though when I was teaching a class group with a male and a female Ashley came to me for citizenship and the class already called them "Ashley Girl" and Ashley boy" poor kids!

I think Alix is OK but those who don't know it is a French name (I didn't) may well assume it is a (deliberate) mis/ invented alternative spelling of Alex, I guess that is one of the things that could have made it a hard name for the OP?

I can't find who posted that whacky means the baby was special to the parents - I don't agree, it may sometimes, but more often it means the parents thought "How cool are we giving our baby such an off the wall name" - or just that they didn't bother thinking about how the name would affect the baby in later years. Sometimes more thought has gone into choosing the "right" classic name than into calling a baby Apple or Pebble or Fluffy-Little-Pippkin :o (I don't think Alix at all falls into the wacky category though, just saying I don't think wacky means parents who cared more about the baby than others, sometimes the opposite, I'd think parents who thought their baby's name as all about them, the parents, like the poster who's DH wanted to call their child Decibella once (I think that was on chat) because he was a rock musician - made me hope the baby turned out to have a strong vocation to be a librarian :o

My sister changed her name in her mid 30s. It was a bit of a shock as I never knew she hated her name before! She changed it by deed poll and corrected everyone when they called her by her

(darn mobile posting!)
...by her old name, and after a year or so, just stopped responding if people didn't use her new name. She introduced herself to all new people with her new name and now a good few years on, we all call her her new name (except mum who sometimes forgets).

FWIW, I preferred her old name and can't understand why she changed it, and there was a lot of talk about it amongst family, but at the end if the day, she was unhappy before, and she's happier now, and for that, the inconvenience to us to remember was worth it.

I know an Alix in her mid-thirties, maybe it is more common than you think? Fwiw I have never thought anything of her name, as in I didn't think 'what a weird name' when I met her, I didn't think anything different to if she had been for example a Kate or Emma.

Could you call yourself Ali, or Lexi perhaps?

The only issue I see is that if you are the kind of person who worries what peiple think of you, and are self-conscious about your name anyway, would you feel even more self-conscious having to explain to all your friends/acquaintances/colleagues that you have changed your name?

Do you think that this is more about your self confidence than it is about you (perfectly lovely) name?
Do you wish you were the sort of person who could say (or even just think) "yeah, my name's Alix, what's it to do with you"?

I must say I sometimes think "Why have you not CHANGED that name...but that is mostly when I meet Mr Pratt or Ms Smellie.

I think Alix is a pretty, not too way out name. It would not even make the tiniest blip on my 'odd-name-ometer'.

BUT

Do you truly think you will be more confident if you change it? Or are there other ways of making yourself confident that are not just attached to your name?

Agree with Norks actually.My relative who name changed,had self confidence issues,before the name change,and self confidence issues after it.Perhaps he just had 1 less thing to fret over,I dont know.

Mad Alix is a lovely name. And I don't think wacky at all. I have a name which is very unusual, I've never met anyone else with it (I checked it out on the stats- only 10 born last year), and everyone always comments on it and asks where it came from etc. It has never never bothered me. in fact I love that my name is different. People tend to pronounce it incorrectly at first also but that's never bothered me either. I don't really get why it bothers you.

... in fact I may add it to my shortlist of names for my imminent new arrival (I have Alex on there for a girl, but I prefer this as it's a bit more interesting).

I agree with those who are saying try it for a while and see how you feel since I can see both sides having read all the posts. My DM changed her name by DP to the one of the many short forms on it saying she hated the long version even though she gave it to me as a middle name! I do think people change too. Through my childhood and teens I was always known as nikki but would punch anyone in the nose if they called me that now! I don't think there is anything wrong with Alix but Alice is lovely too.

Englishwoman: I just meant that this kind of names makes me feel like the parents went into a lot of trouble to find an unusual name and I find it quite cute. Of course, it does not necessarily mean the baby is special to them and more often than not also shows how special they feel themselves, but it somehow makes a positive impression on me. The difference may be that the first category of parents choose something not too unusual (e.g. Alix, Ginevra, Althea..) and the others go for the most unusual name they can find (e.g.: Apple, Septimus, Seven &co).
I am not saying either that classic names make me think "did not bother at all", it just does not have the same "cool" feeling.

I was in a school where I shared a name with 5 other girls, so at 13 I changed the spelling of my name ever so slightly (think Alex to Alix!). I've now been known longer that way than my original, even my family know me by it. My passport is in the old name (have to remember when I fly!), everything else is in the new name. Never regretted it, suits me much better!