What exactly do people mean when they say a name is 'trying too hard'?

[CharlotteLucas]

Just curious, really, as I've seen this response to some names on here and had never come across it in RL - what do you mean by it, and can you give an example of a name that is, in your opinion, 'trying too hard' and why?

I mean, I assume we all make an effort with our children's names - no one just sticks a pin in a book of baby names! Mightn't Elizabeth have taken just as much thought as Persephone, even though it's a more usual name?

Or is 'trying too hard' about social aspiration? What if, say, an earl calls his son Sholto or Peregrine or Damascius - can a name still be 'trying too hard' if the namer is on top of the social pyramid already?

I don't use the term but I've noticed that other people do when referring to very unusual names. Often they are the names that are preferred by more middle/upper class types but sometimes not.

I don't know, to cool, too posh?

Good question, I've been wondering the same thing myself. I assumed it meant someone was trying so hard not to give their child a popular name that they end up going for a name that no one can pronounce/spell/etc. (Not judging, as my DC's name could beclassed as all of those things)

It isn't something I would say myself, but when I hear/read others saying it I always take it to mean that the parents are trying too hard to be something, be it more 'posh' or more 'zany'.

"Tiger Lily Heavenly Hiraani"

I would hope that all parents try hard to find a lovely, ideally not already overused, name for their child!

What oreocrumbs said.

I don't get it either

Trying too hard: to sound posh?
Trying too hard: to sound cool?
Trying too hard: to be yooneek?
Trying too hard: to be different?
Trying too hard: to find a lovely name for your child?

Huh?

I think people who don't like a particular name say this just to be nasty!!

Of course your going to try hard when picking out your child's name....you are giving a human being a title that they will carry for the rest of their life. I would be worried if someone did not try hard!

What oreo said.
BTW, Gunznroses, Heavenly Hiraani Tigerlily is part of the Geldof family now, but she's the late Michael Hutchence's daughter with Paula Yates, who was arguably the finest exponent of "trying too hard" with children's names.

I think they mean trying too hard to get attention.

I find baby naming so odd. Just give the child a name, stop agonising over it.

I'd say it was choosing a name that says more about the parents' aspirations/desire to be cool or edgy than it does about the practicality of living with that name.

Bluestocking - yes of course, i completely forgot.

We're quite "inventive" with names ourselves but that one knocked me for six!

Yes most people try "hard" to find something unique and special for our precious offspring but sometimes in trying to find the "unique" you veer to far away into the side of bizarre.

Some names are not bizarre but have a certain stamp on it usually to do with family background or culture and unless your family come with that stamp then it just doesnt "fit" eg there are certain names in england that seem to belong to the upper classes or lower classes ( this is just from what i've heard and other observations), or imagine a non asian family naming their DD "Aishwarya", now "Maya" may go down well very nicely but the former just doesn't.

Clearly people don't mean 'trying too hard to name their child'...

That's not what 'trying too hard' means. Of course everyone tries hard to give their child the best name.

It's not a phrase I would use often but I take it to mean 'trying too hard to...

• give off a certain impression
• give off a cerain vibe
• impress
• aspire
• appear a certain way that may be at odds with who they actually are

This is not an exhaustive list. It's subtle, basically.

Ds2's nn is trying too hard according to a recent thread. It actually came about as it was the only part of his name Ds1 could say.

Each to their own, i wouldn't judge anybody for their name.

Excellent post NurseBernard

A bit like people telling me my Dc names were "artistic", or " a bit out there " until they see me and realise I am foreign and then it is suddenly o.k.

I think it means trying to hard to be the sort of name that really catches people's attention for any number of reasons. Nurse Bernard has outlined a few It's a put down but a subtle one. But a name that is "trying too hard" will not also be the sort of name dismissed as "chavvy,"

It think it's when naming a child is all about the image the parents want to convey about themselves, not about the child. "look at us, so cool adn edgy, not like you boring normals!"

I associate it with a caricature of Guardian readers in ethnic skirts, 'trying too hard' is part of the stereotype.

Nurse really hit the nail on the head!

I have used the term and what I usually mean is that a particular name might be at odds with who the parents actually are in order to present a newer better? version of themselves through the name bestowed upon their child.

It has quite a lot to do with aspiration; wherever one wants to 'fit'. Or to present an idea of 'difference' within their existing social group.

I hope that helps!

MammaT

Hmm, yes, and I agree that 'try too hard' names are not those regarded as 'chavvy'. There is no relationship between, say, Sholto, Peregrine or Artemis and Lacey-Jai, Kyle or Nevaeh.

I'm using these terms not because I agree with their socio-economic/socio-cultural connotations, but more because I hope everyone will know what I am talking about! (No offence meant with the names I selected as my examples, either).

MT

Interesting - thanks, all. Yes, it is a subtler put-down than 'chavvy', the other most frequent Mn name insult!

A lot of people have said things about 'try-hard' names suggesting parents are trying for an effect at odds with who they 'really are' - I could see someone thinking this in real life, when they know the people involved, but how can you decide this online, when all you have to go on is a post that says 'What about the name Cedric/Peregrine/Araminta?' and you can't tell anything about what the poster's real self or social status, so can't say whether they are trying to present a posher or edgier version of themselves via an aspirational name...?

I think a try-hard name is one which doesn't sound 'natural'

So for example, naming a child Xander instead of Alexander, it just sounds wrong and doesn't flow.

Posh names aren't 'try-hard' they just don't suit people from non-posh backgrounds and risk cheapening the name (look what happened to Oscar and Olivia!)

There's a great solution for anyone who can't resist a truly 'posh' name though - use it as a middle name! Then the child (and future adult) can choose whether to use it or not. As a 21 yr old, they can be either Rosie Jones, or Rosie Arabella Persephone Jones, as they wish :D

Shouldn't take it personally, the point of stereotypes is they make sweeping assumptions but are useful shorthand if not taken too seriously by the listener.