Do I need to ask my sister first???

[Bellaholland]

Hi

I'm 39 weeks and 5 days so our baby could be born any day now!

We do not know if it is a boy or girl. Our boys name is Charlie Jacob ( Charlie was my grandad and Jacob my husbands). My sister has a little girl called Charlotte. She is only one years old and is at the moment know as Charlotte. My sister has mentioned shortening to Charly in tha past.

We really don't want to reveal names before baby is born. We decided if its a boy we would phone my sister first and ask if she would mind if we use Charlie. I am now wondering if this is really needed! When our daughter was born we spent several hours alone with her before telling anyone. I would like this again but would find it odd if I couldn't call him Charlie in those hours.

Am I being silly? I'm sure m sister will see no issue in it at all!

What would you do?

Thanks

I would leave it. What if you ask her and she says no! Then you will be stuck.

I would announce the name, ignore any raised eyebrows and tell her she can call her dd Lottie as a nickname!

If your dn is already 1 and not being called Charley then I think that you are fine. Don't ask your sister, because if she says it's not ok what will you do? This way it's presented as a done deal and she would look churlish if she objected.

Good luck with the birth!!

This isn't what you'll want to hear but I think you should ask your sister now, not after the birth. I think Charlie and Charlotte are pretty similar tbh even DN isn't nicknamed Charlie yet (she still could be when she gets to school). Also when your parent are telling people their grnadchildren's names they might feel a bit silly listing them together. If your sister's cool with it you can then enjoy DS being Charlie from birth if a boy, but if not it gives you a few days (perhaps!) to consider other name choices.

Okay so image....
If you had Charlie first...how would you feel if your sister had a Charlotte and didn't chat with you about it first?

Charile and Charlotte are 2 different names, i know a pair of siblings called Charlie and Charlotte (nn lottie)
I also no a Nicholas and Nicola and went to school with a Alexis and Alexandra!

They haven't given her the nickname yet have they? and if she did kick up a stink then your little boy could have the nn CJ and she could have Charlie, however i think Lottie is a nicer nn for a girl.

Use the name, no need to talk to her about it.

know

Why not use Jacob Charlie? Whole drama sorted, and still honouring gps :)

You can't deliberately have cousins both called Charlie. Really, you can't.

Don't ask your sister, because if she says it's not ok what will you do? This way it's presented as a done deal and she would look churlish if she objected."

Wow! I'm glad I'm not in your family!

I think Charlie is too close to Charlotte. Do you like any other names?

If you really want it, you are going to have to ask her! Can you not casually strike up a conversation about liking Charlie and Freddie and so on?

I also know siblings (well, half siblings) called Charlie and Charlotte (not shortened). As long as she is not shortening to Charley, I dont think they are too close for cousins (Charlotte to my ears starts with a Sh sound, rather than a Ch as in Charlie).

Talk to her, explain you want to name the child after your Grandad. It doesn't have to be phrased as an 'is this ok?', just that you are confiding in her and see her reaction. She may not even think of the connection herself.

Well my sister and I are close and have similarly aged children and I know we'd both have been a bit 'ahem' if one of us did that.

Is your sister thinking of Charley because of your grandad too?

I don't think I could do it tbh. Jacob Charlie?

Your neice is called Charlotte and you say your sister has mentioned using Charly in the past as a nickname for her. And you seriously want to name your ds Charlie? I would pick another name but if you insist on Charlie then certainly run it by your sister imo. How would you feel if it was the other way round?

They could shorten Charlotte to Lottie, that's all fine, fair enough etc etc but what if Charlotte, when she is older, decides that she wants all her mates to start calling her Charlie because it sounds cooler?

You would have two Charlies then!

TBH, I don't think it would bother me but your sister might be bothered. As a previous poster said, I would be tempted to go for Jacob Charlie instead.

But they'll be cousins, not brother and sister, we have 2 Richards and 2 Chris's in the cousins, no-one bats an eye.

I'd go for Jacob Charlie if your neice is Charlotte, definately.

Well, only you know your relationship with your sister, but personally, I wouldn't dream of just going ahead and doing this.

I would not personally choose Charlie with a Charlotte in the family, and think it very odd that anyone could use the two names for siblings as Charlotte is the female diminutive and Charlie is a male diminutive of Charles so essentially they are the same name. Plus Charlie is a very common shortening of Charlotte, so chances are your niece may well use that.

If you think it's likely not to be a problem then talk to your sister before your baby is born. If you think it is likely to be a problem then I'm sorry but I think you need a different name.

Our DS3 is called a name that was on our short list for ds1 & ds2 and with 2 middle names each we ran out of options. DH's sister's DS is called a very similar name with the same origin. We live on different continents so don't see each other often. sister said she felt complimented that we chose a similar name.

DH was concerned but we decided to keep quiet and go for it.

It could go either way, I think you need to judge based on your relationship with your sister.

Thanks for advice! Its interesting to hear different reactions! Charlotte is only known as Charlotte and my sister even says she's very much a Charlotte and not a lottie or charly. I guess it's just the thought Charlotte may choose charly in future. The thing is we live in different country's and although we are close our children only see each other a few times a year. I wouldn't go for Jacob as its pronounced ya cob here and we don't like that enough for first name. We really do not have any other boys names at all!!! I think we will end up having a girl anyway!