Do I need to ask my sister first???

[Bellaholland]

Hi

I'm 39 weeks and 5 days so our baby could be born any day now!

We do not know if it is a boy or girl. Our boys name is Charlie Jacob ( Charlie was my grandad and Jacob my husbands). My sister has a little girl called Charlotte. She is only one years old and is at the moment know as Charlotte. My sister has mentioned shortening to Charly in tha past.

We really don't want to reveal names before baby is born. We decided if its a boy we would phone my sister first and ask if she would mind if we use Charlie. I am now wondering if this is really needed! When our daughter was born we spent several hours alone with her before telling anyone. I would like this again but would find it odd if I couldn't call him Charlie in those hours.

Am I being silly? I'm sure m sister will see no issue in it at all!

What would you do?

Thanks

If I loved Charlie I would ask if she minded. I wouldn't use if if she did mind. It's not worth the long-term family aggro.

Well, if she doesn't call her Charlotte Charlie, then it should be ok, but could you not officially name your little boy Charles to be known as Charlie - but you can announce as Charles (totally different name) then start using the nickname Charlie.

IMHO You should give the full name anyway, he can use either when he grows up and Charles sounds more professional than Charlie.

Wow! I'm glad I'm not in your family!

Seeker I could have called my kids exactly the same names as my nieces and nephews and my gorgeous sister wouldn't bat an eyelid. I also have two brothers who have no kids yet and if they want to use the same/similar names to my kids I really don't care either.

The OP thinks her sister won't mind, so why make a big deal of it, especially as they don't want to reveal the name beforehand.

But that's not what you said! You said do it without telling her so it was a "done deal" and she would look churlish if she objected!

Which is a bit different from "I'm sure she won't mind-I wouldn't if it was me".

Hell what a prat I am - that's what PMs are for, isn't it

I think if I were your sister I would think it a little strange. And it would probably annoy me a bit if you didn't run it by me.

My Aunt called her two sons the exact same names as two of my brothers, to be fair we are a family of 7 so my mum had used up a lot of the names all she did was swap the order so where my mum had an Alan then a David, she had a David then an Alan - and neither of these names were family names to be handed down. She just felt that as there was an age gap of about 10 years it was okay to recycle them! Another Aunt then called her little girl Christine, the same as one of my sisters but at that point my sister was in her 20s and this Aunt had a mother called Christine so a bit more understandable. My husband liked the name Andrew but I wouldn't stick it on the list as my knephew is Andrew - even if there is a 20 year age gap, I don't think it is right. If someone has chosen your favourite name first then it's just hard cheese! Having said that you are not choosing the exact same name but you may find when baby is born that he doesn't suit it anyway :)

Well if it helps our niece is called Charlotte (known in family as Charlotte) and we've got a Charlie. It didn't even cross my mind at the time tbh, but no-one seemed to mind... Not that they told me anyway. I think Lottie is much more used as a nn for Charlotte now anyway.

Seems like a complete non-issue to me.

No one owns a name, and it's only in recent times that people have tried to avoid duplication with friends and family. It used to be seen as a compliment to use the same name.

Agree about Charles. Always better to give the full/formal name, then he gets the whole package and can choose.

You call your baby what you want hunni

sil had a moan cos we named our son owen after my grandad and she would of liked to of used the name if she had another child. Well that isn't going to happen and it's no ones business what you call your child.

You have chosen a lovely name, if you have a little boy be proud of the name you have chosen

I wouldn't use Charlie if there's a Charlotte in the family TBH, its not the end of the world if you do, but I wouldn't

If they hadn't said they were going to use Charley as a nn I would say it was fine. Two different names,

But because she has said she will use Charley then I think you need to check first.

You need to check. This scenario would cause angst in our family.

Hulababy they haven't said that. OP said

"my sister even says she's very much a Charlotte and not a Lottie or Charly"

But she also said "My sister has mentioned shortening to Charly in the past" in her OP. I think given that the two families live far apart it's probably not really an issue as the cousins probably won't have a very close relationship, but it's not something I would do, and I do think a call before hand would be a courtesy.

I have the same name as a cousin and I always thought, growing up, that it must mean that my Aunt really liked me and took it as a compliment. My cousin technically has a hyphenated name so it is different to mine (think Sarah and Sarah-Jayne but not those names) but as soon as she hit about 8yo she has been known as just the first name. Does not bother me or my side of the family at all.

When my DS was born, had he been a girl, we would have used a feminine version of my DBs name. DB was chuffed to bits. As it was he was obviously a DS and got my DDads name instead, DDad died whilst I was pg with DS. I have two younger siblings who have not started families yet and if either of them wanted to remember our DDad with their naming then I would think it a lovely tribute to DDad rather than a stealing of DSs name.

I can't believe how many people really feel strong about not doing this!!! I'm 40 weeks exactly now and waiting for our daughter or son to arrive. My gut feeling is this baby is a girl but if it's a boy we are going for Charlie. The posts from people who see it as a non issue win for me. As for it being more a girls name in NL I'd just want to point out the runner up in the Voice NL was Charlie and he's all over Dutch pop music so don't think you will have that issue anymore. Really dislike name Charles and our daughter doesn't have a full name too. Thanks for advice!

You would be taking the option away for your niece to be called Charly. I love Charlie for a girl and if I was a Charlotte I'd want the nn Charlie.

Maybe name you son Charlie Jacob but call him Jacob/Jake.

My friend goes off her middle name. No issues as long as they remember when booking flights.

So simply ask your sister. I wonder if you don't want to ask because of her possible answer?

If not read all the replies so sorry if I'm repeating.

I'd ask personally...I had our son who we named Samuel. My SIL had a daughter a week later and named her Vanessa. I found out much, much later that she'd always wanted Samantha but changed at the last minute because I'd had a Sam. I felt awful, but I really had no idea! :(

But if you don't think she'd mind, whatever. :) Congrats on your baby!

Charlie definitely isn't a girls name. Charlie Chaplin.

I think it work's brilliantly for both.

Actually I think it's fine, esp if you don't live near each other. She can still be called Charlie if she wants. Her patents/family can use Charlotte when needing to differentiate.

Maybe different situation if they were going to be close.

I hope your right Bella! My Charlie got funny looks about his name again just this morning when we were dropping DD at school...

I still think there's absolutely no problem in calling your DS Charlie with a Charlotte in the family. None at all.

I wouldn't even think about asking her, totally different names!
Add in that you are in diff countries and it's a non issue!
We have 2 cousins with the same name in our family and it's not a problem at al :-)