WDYD if DH just won't budge?

[LaTristesse]

DH is set on a name for our DD1 due in a couple of weeks. I'm not keen.

I have tried suggesting other names, putting name books under his nose, sending him lists of names to go through but he's just not entertaining any of it. I think he thinks I'll change my mind when she's here, but it's really starting to piss me off. I've agreed to compromise on the names I like, but he's not doing likewise. His mum has also said she doesn't like his name, (which may be contributing to his defiant attitude I will admit), but what else can i try? I have visions of him sneaking her down the registry office without me just to get his own way... He is a stubborn bugger at the best of times, but I'm going to have to resort to names out of a hat and pray his doesn't come up if we can't talk about this properly. Any suggestions?

Well he can't insist on a name that you don't like so that's that - tough titty.
What's the name - just out of sheer nosiness like?

Tell him to grow the fuck up?

Jesus if he can't even make a joint decision over a baby's name, you are in for a really rough time when this baby arrives.

Why can't he see this is unfair? What would his attitude be if you picked a name and said that was the only one?

Definitely back to the drawing board for a compromise I think.

DH picked DDs name (I picked DS') - I don't particularly like the full version, so I gave her a shortened version, then amended it, then amended it so it morphed into something that I do like and called her it. So everyone else did, so now DH does too.

Isabella > Bella > Ella > Ells > Ellie

But he got to pick the name on her birth certificate - win win.

Tell him: no, she will not be called Whatever. End of. You have to move on and re-open negotiations.
DH is a bit like that with DS2's name. He is rather set on one I quite like, but I just quite like it. I had to tell him that his choice was not going to happen for him to think about alternatives.

Go back in time and marry someone better

Hth

Laurie, believe me, the way he's been recently it's not the first time that has occurred to me!

The name is Juno. It's ok, but I don't love it, and I really want to call my daughter a name I love. We already have a DS and we agreed straight off on his name.

The name I really love is Indi, but I've put together a list of about 20 I am willing to go with, but no joy so far... Will have one more go tonight. Thanks for the replies ladies, it helps just to know I'm not being thoroughly unreasonable...

Are we married to the same man?

Who has been carrying this baby, huh? I think the veto definitely goes to Mama.

I think Juno is a no-go now because of your husband's behaviour. It'll just make you feel resentful.

My DH is similarly stubborn and no face-to-face discussion would work. In your situation I'd wait til he was at work and then send him an email. 'Hi X, I couldn't face another showdown with you about names but I want you to know that Juno is definitely out for me. I've got a list below of ones I like, are there any here that you'd be happy to go for? It's not an exhaustive list so let me know if you've got suggestions. There are great names other than Juno, let's find one! See you later, La Tri x' plus list of names.

You have to keep going until you get something that you both agree on. All my DC would have had different names if it was just me, or just DH.

Trying not to be biased because I love Juno, but he can't dig his heels in on a single name. You both need to love it.

Juno for a girl?

I'm so out of touch - I thought it was a boys name.

I think since the film Juno in 2007 (about a teenager who falls pregnant - www.imdb.com/title/tt0467406/) it's been commonly associated with girls.

It's a girl's name, all right - Roman goddess of the hearth and matronly things. Wife of Jupiter, prone to jealousy, massive strops and causing trouble for women who caught his eye.

I wouldn't go for it, myself.

As DialMforMummy says -- just say No. No, she will not be named Juno. When he is prepared to accept that, he can come and talk and you can discuss what she will be called.

He has to budge because you vetoed it! I would not say anything further on the matter for the moment. Just assume he's got the message. And don't push him on alternative names for a few days, maybe? I think I'd leave it for a little while and then have another look at your list together.

My sister recommended waiting till you look at your baby for the first time, just after you've given birth to say 'darling Trixiebelle (insert name of your choice) isn't she just perfect DH'. Then he can't back down from your choice.

LaTristesse - could you name your daughter something like
Albia
Clio
Delia
Gaia
Hera
Hermia
Ione
India
Indiana
Ismay
Ivy
Jana
Joan
Jude
Judith
Julia
Juliana
Julienne
Juliet
June
Junia
Juniper
Luna
Pax
Sula
Vida
Zora?

Tried to think of some other jaunty four-letter names like Indi and Juno for you.

I don't get the big deal about names as I was a lot less bothered about chosing them, and what they would eventually be called, than I thought I would. Out of the 6 names my kids have dh chose 4, DS1 chose one and me one. Having said that if you don't want it then he can't have it.

Really dislike Indi. It's not a proper name.

If you really don't like it don't agree to it.

Juno is awful.

Why on earth would you consider giving your child a name that you don't like? Just tell him that you hate the name so you will both have to agree on a name that you both like.

I can't quite believe your thread title - 'What would you do if DH just won't budge?'

I mean, deciding on a name for your baby is the least of your worries, surely?!

If he's not usually like this, then just do whatever you normally do that works to change his mind.

Or, what anyone else in this situation would do [states the bleeding obvious]: just say, 'no, I don't like the name and I don't want to call my DD it'. Practice a few times beforehand, if you think it might help.

If he is usually like this, then hell, none of us can help you out, and instead can only wonder remotely why you'd be with him.

I'm being a bit OTT probably, but I'd be way too embarrassed to start a thread like this - it is about so much more than just your baby's name. Your DH is an arse.

And just in case, if it isn't entirely clear from my vitriolic little post - it is not up to him to have the final say on this. It's not up to you either (although as the one gestating the baby for 9 months and then giving birth to it, there's a fairly robust argument that it could be). It's up to both of you to agree.

He sounds like an absolute arse.

Naming a child is a joint decision. It's not a contest to see who can be the most stubborn.