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Original poster

Eldest ds in tears about new dd's name....

89 replies

luckywinner · 28/01/2012 21:23

I have just had a baby girl three weeks early. We didn't really choose any names before, just a short list. Ds (7) and dd (5) have been v excited about new baby. This afternoon they both came to see me in the hospital and were seriously lovely with her. Ds kissed her lots and lots. Dd just wanted to dress and undress her!

Dh took them home then came back to me and we decided on our name for new dd - (Elizabeth) Tess. When dh went home and told them her name my ds sobbed and sobbed and said he didn't like the name. Dh called me in hospital and I spoke to ds who cried again and said he didn't like name. I asked him what he did like. His answer was Felicity, Darrell or alicia (we've been reading mallory towers!), or Cecily. Now he was going to be Cecily if he was a girl. I love the name but a friend of ours has since called their child Cecily and I am just not sure about it any more. And part of me says 'tough, you are 6, you don't get to decide'. And I love the name Tess. Someone come and tell me what to do/say. I am exhausted, just given birth, am tired and emotional!

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FootprintsInTheSnow · 28/01/2012 22:37

I'm going against the tide here, but I'd graciously concede. Think of it as an investment in the sibling bond - emphasising to your DS that he is a key stakeholder in this new member of the family. Imagine how proud he'd be to introduce his sister with his name.

Tbh - his choices are all pretty nice. I also like Elizabeth and Tess - but I can hear how they'd sound a bit stiff and old fashioned to a child.

(conversely - I hated the beckhams girls name 'Harper' - but it met with overwhelming approval with DC I spoke to. Different generations, different fashions)

exoticfruits · 28/01/2012 22:37

I was 5yrs when my brother was born and didn't like his name and I still don't. However it really doesn't matter-ignore.

DillyTante · 28/01/2012 22:38

Firstly the Op can give her DD whatever nickname she likes, I mean what about Peggy for Margaret, or Harry for Henry (it's not even shorter!).

Secondly, op I think your son's emotions go beyond the baby's name. Sounds like he is trying to exert some control. Maybe he feels a bit powerless. I don't think you should give in to him, but maybe just bear these feelings in mind. FWIW my 3yo refused to call DD2 by her name for two weeks as she didn't like it. She just called her "bubba" Grin

exoticfruits · 28/01/2012 22:38

As soon as she becomes a personality he won't imagine her being anything else.

BandOMothers · 28/01/2012 22:38

Footprints but he's SEVEN! NExt week he'll be like "What? What baby?"

BandOMothers · 28/01/2012 22:39

Agree Dilly he probaly misses you too OP.

Popoozle · 28/01/2012 22:40

Ah, bless him! At 6 years old I named my twin dollies Clockfride & Tittifa though so probably best to let the adults choose the baby's name Grin.

Congratulations BTW! Grin

lockets · 28/01/2012 22:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Popoozle · 28/01/2012 22:44

Oh god, actually - thinking about it - we did use DS2's chosen name for DD Confused. But it was one of two names on our (mine & DH's) shortlist anyway - not a totally different name, so not sure if that counts.

DS1 was very nearly 14 when DD was born - he "doesn't do" commenting on names Hmm.

ShowOfHands · 28/01/2012 22:46

We let dd name ds as we couldn't agree. He's named after a ninja turtle...

My sil's name is exactly the same as your dd's name (exactly, down to middle names too) and our surname begins with a p so her initials are 'earp' which has led to the nickname Wyatt. Otherwise, she's called Flobble. With a precedent of one, I believe this is now a traditional abbreviation for Elizabeth. I'd therefore suggest to your ds that it could be much worse.

DD btw sobbed when she found out we were having a ds. She got over it about 23 minutes later.

PurpleWithaBlueBun · 28/01/2012 22:52

My sister was born when I was three, I am still disappointed my parents didn't call her Mickey like I wanted. Wink

I am sure it will be fine, it is a nice name :)

NorksAreMessy · 28/01/2012 22:56

:o
Flobble!

Can you call the baby Elizabeth for a little while in front of DS, and when he has got over it, start in there with the Tess?

Daftapath · 28/01/2012 22:57

My nephew wanted to call his sister Diarrhoea!

Go with your lovely choice OP. He will have forgotten very soon. I'm sure he feels a bit unsettled and worried.

Many congratulations.

RedHotPokers · 28/01/2012 23:06

If it were me I'd let him have input into middle name.

I chose my dsis's name (although my parents officially named her the more formal version rather than the nn iyswim). I was SO proud to be a part of such an important decision, and it still makes me smile thinking about it now.

Beamur · 28/01/2012 23:14

If the book names are so powerful...why not dig out some good books with Elizabeth/Tess characters and see if that helps!
He will get over it, our DD burst into tears at her own middle name not so long ago and declared that she hated it. She's ok now.

zipzap · 28/01/2012 23:32

My sis is an Elizabeth. She was known as Zizi by everyone when she was little as that was the closest I could get to saying her name and it evolved into her name. As we got older I also used Widge and Liza or Liza-lu. She changed school in the 6th form and was known there as lily.

At work she was known as Liz and that's what her dh calls her. Bizarrely it's a name I really don't associate with her, don't particularly like and have never used about or to her. Has also led to a few embarrassing moments when people have enquirer after Liz and I've asked who's Liz... :o

But just an idea of some of the other less obvious nicknames fjor Elizabeth!

Congratulations by the way!

oikopolis · 29/01/2012 02:55

Elisabeth Alice Rose is swoonworthy, well done you. Tess is perfectly acceptable as a nickname for Elisabeth, not commonly used but rhymes with Bess, and many nns are based on rhymes (Meg/Peg for Margaret, etc.)

Your DS will get over it. I suspect he's trying to retain some control over a situation of great change and (happy) stress. Go with your name, giving him too much control will backfire in the end, he needs to know that you are still in charge of family life and that his new sister is not his responsibility.

sashh · 29/01/2012 11:41

You do realise your daughter's initials are EAR. all nice names BTW but what is your surname? Does it spell anything awful?

chipmonkey · 29/01/2012 12:30

"ear" is not a dirty word except occasionally on Mumsnet!

Maryz, my friend's ds cried for an hour on the birth of his fourth sister!

spiderlight · 29/01/2012 12:36

PMSL at Flowersmell! :o

PuffPants · 29/01/2012 12:43

Friends recently had a Pippa. Her DD thought they were calling her Peppa and was thrilled. She still introduces her as such. Parents hoping it will wear off...

PastGrace · 29/01/2012 12:55

My friend's older sister wanted my friend to be called Amy. She went around telling everyone at school that her new sister was called Amy. Her mum turned up to do the first school run after the birth and all the other mothers crowded round to look at the baby cooing "what a beautiful baby. And Amy is SUCH a lovely name". Apparently it took her a full week to convince them that DD1 had been lying and her baby was most definitely not called Amy.

I love Elisabeth/Tess

marshmallowpies · 29/01/2012 22:48

My nephew wants my DD to be called Lily. Keep telling him it won't suit her surname (think sports store in Piccadilly Circus) but it's very sweet the way he keeps mentioning it.

TheSecondComing · 29/01/2012 22:53

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Greenshirt · 29/01/2012 23:14

Our DD1 was 10 when her little sister was born and oddly enough she wanted Felicity as she'd been reading my old Malory Towers books.I wanted Fenella,but when the baby was born our eldest was so excited about having a sister that we went with Felicity Faith.Our son was 4 and called her Flissity! My brother gave me my middle name of Joanne[70's baby!]but my dad's named John,so kind of ties in.