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double barrel surname

26 replies

Spuddybean · 21/01/2012 21:59

i'm sure this has been done but i just wanted some sage words re double barreling DP's and my surname. We are expecting a baby and both are adamant our surnames are passed on.

I'm not keen on double barrels but it seems the only option. Also it also affects our first name and middle name choices.

We only seem to like long greek 1st names, so with a double barrel surname it is already sounding pretentious, moi?

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veryconfusedatthemoment · 21/01/2012 22:18

When we got married I always kept my very unusual surname (professionally known, couldnt be arsed with all the paperwork to change). My DS now has his 1st name, 2nd name, my name as a third or family name and then his surname is my (ex) husbands. I was not keen on double barrelled - poor kid would have been there all day spelling out.

Spuddybean · 21/01/2012 22:21

sorry just realised i didn't actually ask the question i wanted to Blush

What i am wondering is, are double barreled names awful and pretentious? Ours would be something like watson-ingram

Our 1st name choices are Leonidas (leo) or Lysander (Ly) for a boy and Persephone (posie/persie) for a girl.

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JambalayaCodfishPie · 21/01/2012 22:24

Double-barrelled names are becoming much more commonplace now.

My daughter,7, is double barrelled and I had the same concerns as you.

It's never been an issue, there's another in her class too.

birdofthenorth · 21/01/2012 22:34

Honestly? I would assume a Lysander or Persphone Watson-Ingram was super super posh... but who cares? If you like those style names & want dc to share both parents identities go for it.

Spuddybean · 21/01/2012 22:42

we just can't agree on any 'normal' first names and both like history/greek mythology - so those are tho only 1st names we have any common ground on. We'd use shortenings tho.

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LizzieChickens · 21/01/2012 22:48

My real name is (similar to) Elizabeth Blythe-Jones, and people always think I'm posh. Perhaps it's different now, but I got lots of high-pitched, "posh" accents when people pronounced or took the mick out of my name. It was usually preceded with "ooooOOOooo, Elizabeth Blythe-Jooooooness, very poooosh!"

I hate having to tell my name to people.

birdofthenorth · 21/01/2012 22:49

Love Teddy.

I would assume less blue bloodedness for Alexander or Phoebe, perhaps? Though less exciting!

If you're leaving the UK I think assumptions around class/ ideas of pretension will matter much less.

Spuddybean · 21/01/2012 22:55

I love Teddy too! i'm gutted :(

Well i'm not exactly a gutter dweller, and am from a posh part of London, so my accent reflects that. I also studied a 'classics' type subject in uni and have a 'posh' first name so am used to the 'ooooooo get you' type responses.

I suppose i don't mind people thinking we are posh, i just mind people thinking we are affecting being posh Grin

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Spuddybean · 21/01/2012 22:57

dont like either alexander (i dont mind the full name but i dislike alex as a short name) or phoebe im afraid.

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Blu · 21/01/2012 23:01

Hyphenated names are very common now, and no longer to do with being 'posh'.
8 of the children in DS's S London state primary have hyphenated surnames.
DS is one of them. He has a not-yet common first name and no middle name as his surname has a total of 5 syllables.

MiauMau · 22/01/2012 00:46

I don't understand the fuss to be quite honest, in countries like my own (Portugal) and Spain, heck I actually think that it's like this is most of Europe everyone has their mother's and father's surnames, and it isn't considered posh in anyway. Mums deserve recognition and having your surname be part of your child's is more than fair. I never thought of this as an issue up until I came to this country.
If anything, my DS is going to have a treble barreled name as my MIL asked us to preserve her family name or else it would end with her and her sister. Now that's posh :o

auntyfash · 22/01/2012 00:57

Most of the kids that I know with double barrelled surnames are from second marriages. It's fun playing guess the parents at our school when you see the same surnames popping up in different variations Grin. Not posh at all round these parts....

Spuddybean · 22/01/2012 10:41

Thanks all for the reassurance - i don't feel like a cruel mum so much now :)

As i said, i don't care about posh, (one cannot help ones heritage!) i care about pretentious.

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AlpinePony · 22/01/2012 11:08

Quite the opposite of "posh" or pretentious these days. Such is modern life and lack of marriage certificates, the great unwashed (& unmarried) are giving their children double-barrelled names. It's proving most upsetting to the gentiles! Wink

(my boys have both our names, double-barrelled natch.)

Blu · 22/01/2012 11:17

I have no doubt that I am capable of being pretentious par excellence - but not based on DS's a la mode surname Wink

MiauMau · 22/01/2012 12:51

In the uk, am I forced to put a "-" between my surname and DP's?!? It's going to look extremely odd with 3 surnames!

Spuddybean · 22/01/2012 13:00

Do you have to put a hyphen between them? We weren't planning to. I have worked with 2 women with double surnames who didn't.

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MiauMau · 22/01/2012 15:48

I hope not, we don't in Portugal.

gaunyerseljeannie · 22/01/2012 18:59

But what about your grandchildren? Imagine the spat then when 2 double barrellers get together, how can that be resolvedGrin Anyone done that?

Blu · 22/01/2012 19:26

if you don't have a hyphen, how does anyone ever know to file things under the initial of the first name? I thought things would get lost in the system unless it was clear that the first part of the hyphenated name was the frst part of the surname and not a middle name.

Blu · 22/01/2012 19:29

In portugal is it obvious what is a surname and what is a first name?

Here, a child called John Blake Smith could easily have Blake as a middle name, and would be filed as Smith, at the doctors, librarary, etc.

As more people use things like Mason, Maddison, Carter, Paige etc as first names it will become ever more difficult to know what is a middle name and what not if they are not hyphenated.

MiauMau · 22/01/2012 20:24

Blu Yes, it is pretty obvious. There's isn't an ambiguity as there is in English, neither in first name / surname or even if a name is male of female. Can you imagine how puzzled I was when I found out that names like Leslie or Hillary were both?! Sometimes men and women can have an opposite gender name like Manuel, Maria or Joao but never as first names always as second names.
gaunyerseljeannie I'll explain it to you using my surnames :) (little Portuguese surname lesson, hope that it's not too long winded). I'm Sandra Sofia Ribeiro Murta, my mum is Francelina Dias Ribeiro and my father is Rui Manuel Goncalves Guerreiro Murta (he has 3 surnames). DS will be Vicente Murta Roldao Silva, so Murta is mine and the other two are DP's (as I explained before he's going to get an extra DP surname as a special request from MIL). My grandchildren will have DPs surname either one or both but, not mine, unless he chooses to use mine instead. You're not forced to use your last surname as the baby's, it can even be as it is here with just the one, but tradition dictates both surnames and I like it. Carrying a baby for 9 months entitles me to give my child my name :o
Hope it makes sense!

Discolite · 22/01/2012 20:37

I've always wondered what will happen when the current crop of double-barrelled name children get married to another double-barreller - will they have quadruple-barrelled name children?!

OP, it isn't posh nowadays. A fair proportion of the children I teach have double-barrelled names and I've worked in a school serving a very deprived estate and a normal comprehensive. The only problem for me is fitting their names in my mark book!

I do like the idea of using a family name as a middle name though. My grandfather has his mum's maiden name as his middle name and it works well.

4madboys · 22/01/2012 20:57

all 5 of mine have double barrelled surname, we hyphanted the surname and they all have middle name, two of them have two middlenames.

so ds1 is theodore david william then a double barrelled surname, it sounds fine will be great if he is a prime minister Grin

my eldest is at high school and it hasnt caused any problems yet. tbh when i write their surname on school forms etc i tend to shorted it by putting the intital of the first part of the surname and then the second surname in full so if our surname was green-brown (random made up surname) then i would put theo g.brown just as they only ahve a short space when signing school forms. i do the same when labelling the school uniform etc, but the school know their surname and know who it is.

i dont think its that unusual anymore, we havent encountered any problems other than my mil not liking it.

MiauMau · 22/01/2012 21:56

In the middle of all of this what makes me sad is the fact that there aren't accents in English. One of DS's (the MIL's request) is Roldão and not Roldao, can they write accents when the baby is registered?