We can't choose - can you? Surname Help

[tiptopchanged]

I have name changed for this.

Both me and DH are equally attached to our surnames.
Both are very unusual.
DH comes from a big family, while my name (for my family) dies with me.

We can't decide. We both agree that if one was very 'normal' we would chose the other but as they aren't ...

Help!

Bizuayehu
OR
Pihlajama

Can you not double barrel?

Those names are fabulous

Bloody hyphenate them!

< no help at all >

With our 2 names, i couldn't do that to our DCs.
And both not really fans of d-b names, so not really a option.
Sorry

Boys get his girls get yours

I would definitely double barrell them.

But if that's really not an option, and given that niether of you are prepared to give your names up, then I would toss a coin.

Both are fab (and would still sound fab double-barrelled)

neither

Wouldn't having DCs with (possibly) different surnames be confusing?

You could use on as a middle name. I've seen that done a few times before and bearing in mind the middle name is rarely used it would be legally documented on the birth certificate but just not every day use.

Bizujama

mix of the both.

That way neither wins or loses.

I would double barrel ( in fact,I have)
but if you really don't want to,I'd choose one to use as a middle name,and the other (maybe yours as it will die out otherwise) as the surname.

HTH

Yours of course, otherwise it will die out!!

Can't believe that you would do it any other way, that seems such a good reason. Yours as the surname, with his as a second middle name so it's in there (if he feels strongly about it).

Agree with Valar. And it's slightly easier to spell than the originals.

We had friends who developed a new surname inspired by their surnames for their child. Its quite cool that you can make up a new surname.

With such long and complicated surnames I think double barreling would be a bit unkind, although they are both rather fantastic :)

Double barrel or go with yours as it will die out.

I would not double barrel.

I have a very unusual surname, which I love, but DH would not hear of DC having my surname. He's very traditional. I have brothers and cousins to continue the name.

Double barreling was just cruel, our names are chalk and cheese. Think Armenian name mixed with Northern English surname (on the lines of Braithwaite) - it doesn't work.

Double-barrelling would be quite unwieldy I think.

I guess I would stick with my husband's name but then I am very traditional like that.

I'd use his as a middle name and yours as surname. Or vice versa. Not that that's much help to you

I like Valar's suggestion

Bizujama
or
Bizuajama

I am not normally a fan of the "combine the names" approach but I think Bizujama would be great!

The other option is that you toss a coin for it - AND whoever loses, gets more sway on the choice of first name, since they've lost out on the surname.

A lot of Sikh and Bengali families have one surname for girls and another for boys, it is not that complicated, but if your name is dying out perhaps yours for boys and dhs for girls

Bizuayehu for a middle name (I believe this is an ethiopian name meaning I have seen a lot or something similar)

Pihlajama for surname

I luckily have a brother who is carrying on my maiden name, but if I didn't this is what I would have done. May still add my surname as middle name if we ever have a boy (my maiden name suits a boy).

Is Pihlajama a Finnish/Estonian name?
I probably wouldn't double barrell, it would be way too confusing to spell I imagine, although you'll have to spell either of those names anyway so not sure if it would be that much of a problem.
I like the idea of combining the names though, but would you feel any connection to the new surname?

I love Bizujama! It's lovely that both names would be in there but it's unique to your family.

One of my middle names is my mother's maiden name, my parents had the same problem. Could that work as a compromise (not saying it has to be your surname that's the middle name, it could be DPs :) )

Use one as a middle name, probably yours as surname if it's more 'at risk'.

I'd avoid double-barrelling too, as quite a mouthful and, what happens when two DB children then have offspring? Fine if everyone's using the Spanish system and knows which to drop but we don't.