Does your mum expect to have a say in your child's name?

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Because it transpires that mine does!

I feel bad ranting, because I have a really good relationship with my DM. She's been really good to us - but I draw the line at name-dictation!

She however thinks she should have a say, because it's her grandchild.

But I think she's had her time to name her three children, and this is my time to name mine.

Anyone in a similar position?

MIL certainly did and didn't let the matter drop for ages and ages; I think dd was nearly a year old before MIL stopped the "oh I do so wish you had called her X". She wanted X because that was her bf's name, a woman neither dh nor I had ever met and were highly unlikely to do so (indeed, dd is 12 and we still haven't; I believe MIL last saw her 10 or so years ago!). Bloody ugly name, too!

My MIL said I wasn't allowed to name DD Francesca as she couldn't spell it!?!

My mum wanted to join in the naming - but DH and I cleverly decided that we would tell no-one our names! DM found it really hard not to know, and told me the names she liked very meaningfully (none of which are me at all). Honestly, don't tell people your names - it's hard enough dealing with your dp's vetoes and ludicrous suggestions without involving your mother!

A friend actually asked both sets of parents for suggestions to make them feel part of it - though she had no intention of taking their suggestions on board as she had already decided on names for her DC!
(Not that the parents knew this!)
Maybe this is a good way to go?

Incidently, one set of parents came up with Craig or Ross for a boy and the others Kimberley for a girl???!!!
No wonder she didnt consider them (no offence intended!!)

Ha! My Mum wanted me to call my daughter Klytemnestra - Clytie for short. Because it IS a family name. And apparently she thinks it is so unusual no-one would be able to think of any way to make fun of the name...

Um... something does rather immediately spring to mind, Mother...

kenobi Oh, it annoys me greatly - I'm just thankful that the kids seem to ignore their attempts. That one particularly sets my teeth on edge as it highlights not only the odd nicknames, but their dismissive attitude towards the kids' Hebrew names (they both take a dim view to religion and have completely blanked DH's conversion and since always screw up their Hebrew names - the anglo version of each is also their middle name - either by 'forgetting', misspelling, or saying it in a way to make light of them). I have no idea how I'm going to discuss with the kids when they do notice.

morethemerrier My MiL said exactly the same thing! We were not allowed to call ds the name because she couldn't spell it, but Bil used the same name 18 months later with no issues

my mum was devastated that we didn't call dd1 daisy and tried her hardest to get it to stick as a nickname. She doesn't like dd2s name either and always bloody mispronounces it

Funnily enough, my mother actually suggested ds2's name. Was agonising, find boys' names incredibly hard. She was reading a biography with a family tree in the back and suggested a name. Was perfect. Very simple. Goes with other children's' names and suits him down to the ground.

Oh God - and have just remembered that dd's first name is actually one of my middle names, so she sort of chose that too, indirectly.

And ds1's name is one of my brother's middle names.

Have evidently never quite cut those apron strings.....

This kinda thing really makes my blood boil as my Mum has been same! I'm currently 40wks with no.4 and each pregnancy she's been "having her say as Grandma!" During my last pregnancy I had a text list frm her starting "names approved by Grandma...!" which DH and I had a bit of a chuckle at then made it our mission to choose a name for our DD that was neither on her list OR that we thought she'd like much! This time around we're expecting a son and have chosen something particularly unusual that I'm sure she'll hate..(at least to start with!) We've not just picked it to spite my mum as it's one that we obviously particularly like but are keeping it a secret from the real world (incl mum,) til after the birth. :)
You are absolutely right, your mum had her choices when she had you and now it's your turn! Your mum has no rights as such as a grandmother and I feel it has little to do with her to be honest. I wonder if she felt pressured by her mum when she had you to pick names that were approved by her and gave in to that pressure?.. therefore expecting you to have to do the same?!
Maybe humour her if you want and tell her if she tells you names she has in mind then you'll give them consideration but u and DH won't be announcing YOUR choice until after the birth?

I never discussed names with anyone except dh, and I think that is how it shoudl be. If my mother had ever implied that she should be involved in the decision I would have put her straight quite fast. She got told the names of the children after they arrived, as did everyone else.

I expect the best approach is to say 'thank you for your suggestions mum, but dh/p and I will be making the decisions' but I don't know if I'd be quite that polite!

DM hates (really loathes) my chosen boys name and has demanded that it be changed, but I have refused with the knowledge that her own mother poo-pood her chosen girls name for my sister, so my mother caved and has always regretted it.

Just ignore her completely. Do not discuss. Announce it when the DC is born. If she doesn't like it don't argue-just say 'we like it' and change the subject.

God there are sooo many controlling mums out there aren't there!!? Makes me a bit ashamed to be a woman sometimes..(or maybe ashamed's too strong a word?!)

Lots of them-they never know when to let go!

That is why it is best not to engage-just ignore.

NO way. if mine had i know it would have a lovely name. it just would not feel right to have no input. My DD has a name that i love : hannah anne pike. the middle name is my nanas and i love having her still here in my dd

i named my grandsons second name wich was noah dd loves it :)

My MIL wrote a list. I just smiled & nodded

My mil did actually change dh's name because of her mil. She was going to call him Jason but her mil said it was a dogs name. Instead she gave him a really boring name. Fwiw neither mil or dh have ever met a dog called Jason. In fact I worked at a vets and never met one either

I've never asked mil why she bowed to the pressure.

My dad has always suggested natasha as a name, apparently he wanted to call me this but my mum wouldnt let him . mil suggested anna and molly but just suggestions. Our dd3 is named after an aunt of mils who meant alot to her but we loved the name anyway so everyone was happy.

I went to school with a girl whose parents were German. They wanted to name her Natasha but the priest they got for her baptism insisted Natasha wasn't a name and he wouldn't baptise her unless they came up with something properly Catholic. She ended up with the name of the saint of the day. I think I would have taken my business elsewhere..

In my own parish church I was amused to see the announcement of the baptism of a child named Clint. Things have certainly changed.

When my dd was born I named her Joanna Sarah my mum put a notice in the paper announcing the birth of Sarah Joanna.It wasn't a mistake she just thought Sarah should be first as it is a family name.No one fell out about it though.