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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

MILs response to name. I may be overreacting?

56 replies

Cherrybug · 04/11/2011 20:32

Our baby boy was born 3days ago. We named him Kade which is a Scottish name we've always liked. We live in Scotland and dad is Scottish.

MIL has made it clear she doesn't like it, thinks it sounds chavvy and said something like 'someone called Kade would never be a physics graduate and would be pre judged by teachers'

I know my hormones are currently crashing but I'm really really upset by this. It's made me feel awkward about his name and that people will all hate it. I think it's insensitive of her not to have kept her opinion to herself and now I know she feels that way I know she'll be cringing every time she has to say his name and I don't want that for him. I've always thought a lot of her so I guess it feels more hurtful. But again maybe I'm just being too hormonal.

Is it really a horrible chavvy name? To me your personality and upbringing puts your name into the context of who you are but maybe other people don't think like that. Any thoughts?

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MildlyNarkyPuffin · 04/11/2011 21:29

Anyone who says that, having been told that this is the name of her grandchild, is an unpleasant person whose opinion is worth nothing.

dreamfeeder · 04/11/2011 21:31

I like it, and my dad told me he didn't like the name we eventually picked for my DD which was on our shortlist of 3.

He never mentioned it bar once after she was born, and then said 'Is it definite then?' I said yes, end of discussion. Now he says he couldn't imagine her called anything else (she's nearly 14 months)

Ignore her!!!!!! Bloody MIL's...

FairyArmadillo · 04/11/2011 21:34

Congratulations. Nothing wrong with the name. My friend has a baby Kade too. Your MIL sounds horrible. Don't let her ruin this special time.

ToxicMoxie · 04/11/2011 21:37

Aw, she's just being a MIL. I know a Kade, he's tall and charming and (at 12) quite the ringleader of the neighborhood kids. It's a great name, and you shoudn't worry about it at all. She probably just expected you to use the name suggestions she gave you, or thought at you, and is disappointed her mind control didn't work. Some Grannys are like that.

redglow · 04/11/2011 21:46

I absolutely love it

allagory · 04/11/2011 21:47

It doesn't sound very nice comment but do remember you are going through a hormonal tsunami. Would you normally get so upset if she said something negative? I imagine you'd just shake it off.

I don't think it really matters what you call your child. He will be beautiful whatever you call him and that name will always be beautiful because it's his. (Actually it sounds like I don't like it but I do!)

Original poster

Cherrybug · 04/11/2011 22:04

Thank you all SO much. I feel infinately better now and confident that I shouldn't let anyone make is doubt the name we've chosen.

OP posts:

exoticfruits · 04/11/2011 22:09

I agree that she is being very rude-she should keep her thoughts to herself.

ifitsnotanarse · 04/11/2011 22:18

Me and DH had that with both our families when we announced our DC's (Irish) names. Now they couldn't imagine them being called anything else.
Can't believe your MIL was so verbal.

CocktailQueen · 04/11/2011 22:21

I'm Scottish too and I've never heard of it - but it's lovely. Unusual yet not bizarre. Your MIL is just being awkward because it's not an 'accepted' name and she prob feels a bit funny about it. Ignore her.

BibiBelle · 04/11/2011 22:27

I'm scottish and haven't heard of it and don't know anyone called that.

She is being an ignorant cow!

Tell her she's right and you've changed his name to Prince Diesel Von Firetrap and you expect her to use it in FULL each time she speaks to him.

If not she can continue to use Kade, your chosen name, and shut the fuck up.

Job done.

BTW I can guarentee by next year she'll be waxing lyrical about it and claiming to all her friends that it was all her suggestion

LottieBronte · 04/11/2011 23:10

So rude and insensitive. Just ignore her.

My Mum doesn't like DC3's name but tbh I don't really care. She had her chance when she named me (and my name isn't one I would choose for a dc either.....which I kindly reminded her of when she criticised DC3's name - she hasn't mentioned it since).

Congratulations and enjoy your new baby boy.

PilgrimSoul · 04/11/2011 23:49

I think it is a very strong no-nonsense name. Not chavvy at all.

phlossie · 05/11/2011 06:52

I don't understand this 'chavvy' thing. Ok - I understand that some names have connotations, but your child is who you raise them to be and that's not affected by their name. As you said - your personality and upbringing puts your name into the context of who you are.

How does your DH feel about this?

Tell her to eff off.

Montsti · 05/11/2011 07:47

Firstly congratulations on the birth of Kade! Hope you're both doing well. Typical MIL comment to make (sorry to offend!).. Am so sorry - what an insensitive cow!

I have never heard of the name Kade and can't see any chavvy connotation at all..Out of interest what does DH think about this?

I remember when I was pregnant with DS and my mum asked what we were going to call him so I gave her a list of 10 names (we had chosen but didn't want to tell anyone) and she completely dissed our chosen name! We still named him it though and I know she was disappointed but got over it pretty quickly. Hopefully your MIL will do the same or at least have some manners and not be so bloody rude. Like someone has already mentioned I would say to her that you're not exactly keen on her name choices either...

Montsti · 05/11/2011 07:50

Am watching tv and just as I posted that message someone mentioned their son's name, Cade (ok not spelt the same but same pronunciation) so now I have heard of this name..btw Cade is in his thirties.

leelo · 05/11/2011 23:21

i know three kades from dd's school. its a normal name round here. you choose the name not mil. if she doesn't like it tough. child will be fine. one's i know are quite popular boys and no one has a wtf when told their names. but that's just our school. we in scotland. so normal. would be nice if people got some imagination and stopped calling boys jack and aiden. theres at least 3 of each in every year. boring.

Tortington · 05/11/2011 23:24

tell her go fuck herself opiionated bitch.

if you dont stick up for yourself she's gonna rule the roost

tell her to shut her filtthy mouth

celticlassie · 05/11/2011 23:37

I like it, and I'm a very judgemental teacher. And Scottish. I would expect good things from a Kade.

BlackSwan · 05/11/2011 23:46

A low blow to a woman who has just given birth.

What a bitch! Tell her that you found her comments really hurtful and keep her at arms length. Don't trust her again. Tell your DH to let her know how disappointed you both are in her & that you're questioning what kind of role she should play in her grandson's life because of this. Tell him to tell her it's obvious that she's not concerned about Kade being prejudged by others, but that she thinks other people will think she is a chav if her grandson has an uncommon name. That's all this is about after all.

seeker · 05/11/2011 23:51

There are those that think the vast majority if names starting with K a chavvy.

mrsrugbydave · 06/11/2011 00:36

If you're honestly asking - it does sound a bit 'trendy teen mum' but what she says is out of order.

freerangeeggs · 06/11/2011 01:25

I'm Scottish and I have heard it before (though only on American kids - and rarely). I think it's fab.

Does anyone else think it's a really 'cool' name? I can imagine myself fancying a guy called Kade who's in a band and drives a motorbike. And studies physics :P

Nice choice and congrats on your wee one. Your MIL is being pretty awful but she's only doing it because she cares about him. People of her generation have much more conservative views of names and if she's Scottish (or English, really) she'll only be concerned about him 'fitting in', which he will do as kids these days have much more interesting and varied names. She just doesn't realise that.

Italiangreyhound · 06/11/2011 03:01

My mum and dear old auntie were not keen on my DDs name and must have said so or I would not know!

Now both just think of it as her.

People do say silly things at silly moments.

Please do not allow this to make you worry about your own judgment, please do not allow it to spoil this lovely time and please also try not to be too cross with your MIL. I have no idea why she felt the need to share her (possibly temporary) thoughts! If you liked her and got on before, please try not to allow this to be an issue for you both.

Once she gets to know Kade as a little person I feel sure she will soon feel that he is who is, and his name fits, just as my family quickly felt that for DD.

All the best.

diddl · 06/11/2011 11:34

If you & your husband like it, isn´t that all that matters?

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