How To Use MIL's Name as Middle Name Without Offending my DM?

[midori1999]

DH and I would like to use my MIL's christian name, Susan, as our daughter's middle name. Her first name will be Abigail. Neither of us especially like the name Susan, so it's more for symbolic reasons as my MIL has been so wonderful and thoughtful over the loss of our twin DD's last year.

The problem is, I am not sure how to broach the subject with my DM or if she will be offended that we have chosen MIL's name as opposed to hers. (I think I have already upset my paternal Grandmother as I used my Grandfather's name as the middle nbame of my first son and when she asked if we had middle names I just said we didn't know yet)

I really don't want two middle names and my DM's name begins with an 'A' also, so there's no way we could use it as an only middle name anyway, IMO, and I think it would sound odd if we used it in conjunction with Susan.

Any ideas of how to bring it up sensitively?

A quick google tells me the meaning of Susan is 'Lily'. V. surprising & lovely I feel?

Oh & meant to say sorry for your loss x

I would just not mention it to your Mum. If she brings it up when your DD is bron then you can say that it went with your first name choice better.

When the baby is born and she asks the name, tell her.
She'll be too excited about the new baby to take any offense.

So sorry about your loss. x

I thin Ursula's suggestion is perfect

I did too Melina but Abigail Lily might be a bit of a lllll gob full, shame.

Could you change the name slightly? Abigail Susannah?

If your mum's A name is Anna that might be perfect :)

Abigail Susan A? (whatever your mother's name is)

Then you can please both of them?

Thanks. Currently the not telling her until it comes up after the birth is seeming like the best option.

My Mum's name is Annette and I just really don't like it (sorry to any Annettes or anyone who has one ) and think it all sounds like such a mouthful. What a pity she isn't called Anna!

Obviously if we used Lily my Mum wouldn't know the meaning, but our cat is called Lily unfortunately.

I suppose I can just say my DH chose the middle name... We did use my maternal Grandmother's name as a middle name for our first daughter, which I chose, so I suppose it would be his turn.... (I am such a chicken!)

Susanette?

Annette is a diminutive form if Anna...

I was going to suggest Susanne, that way its a combination of both names.

Thankyou. I have asked DH and he likes Susannah, so we may well choose that and it will save any upset.

Susannah a nicer middle name than Susan I think (my middle name is Susan and would love it to have been Susannah)

I think Susannah is a nice combo of Susan & Annette actually- tell them it's for them both, keep em sweet

Yes I see, Abigail Lily is rather a mouth full!

Susannah or Susanne are lovely, and would honour both mums

Abigail Susannah is lovely - and would avoid any trauma

I think you should stick with your MIL's name - it's a lovely thing to do and after all, it is his turn Handy, very handy that is!! Use it.

Yes TSC is right, either Suzette or Susannah would work really well (and both nicer than either Susan or Annette, imo). Great idea to combine them.

I wouldn't want anyone to name a child after me, as I've always disliked my own name.

I did the change from Susan to Lily as we couldn't find any names it worked with!

I like the idea of using Susanna to combine their names, you're quite fortunate really that you can combine them.

Thankyou all very much. For now we are going with Susannah.

careful, I know that my MIL will be unbelievably flattered and extremely happy we have used her name as a middle name.