How To Use MIL's Name as Middle Name Without Offending my DM?

[midori1999]

DH and I would like to use my MIL's christian name, Susan, as our daughter's middle name. Her first name will be Abigail. Neither of us especially like the name Susan, so it's more for symbolic reasons as my MIL has been so wonderful and thoughtful over the loss of our twin DD's last year.

The problem is, I am not sure how to broach the subject with my DM or if she will be offended that we have chosen MIL's name as opposed to hers. (I think I have already upset my paternal Grandmother as I used my Grandfather's name as the middle nbame of my first son and when she asked if we had middle names I just said we didn't know yet)

I really don't want two middle names and my DM's name begins with an 'A' also, so there's no way we could use it as an only middle name anyway, IMO, and I think it would sound odd if we used it in conjunction with Susan.

Any ideas of how to bring it up sensitively?

my suggestion

You could most certainly say it's for both of them - Susannah is really the only combo that could link Susan and Annette so it should keep your mum happy.

Doubtless she will frantically search for something that puts the Anne bit first (!) - but there isn't anything

And YOU know that the inspiration behind it was your MIL

And it's a beautiful name too - nicer than Susan really!

Actually it's entirely equal:

Sus for Susan

Ann for annette

Exactly the same number of letters represented in the name

Ah! at the end to mark the amazing cleverness of your plan

I had this. I named my daughter Carmen (after my MIL's hated Spanish mother in law) and her second name is Lois (after my mother)

I think she was offended briefly. But she came round and never said anything about it, just looked hurt.

We named our daughter for our reasons, not to please my mother, or my husband's mother. Anyway, she likes frilly names ending in 'a', or parlour-maid names, and we don't.

That said, I'm having another girl and although she hates the first name we've picked (Hedy) we are maybe (I say maybe as I'm not hugely keen) giving her the second name (Rita) of her mother. In the interests of fairness.

Call you child what you like. You can't please everyone, or even close to everyone, so don't bother! Plus once the baby is here they begin to appropriate and inhabit their name in a way that's their own.

I like Abigail Susannah better than Abigail Susan.
There are going to be a lot of XXX Susan in the next few years (There must be a million granny Sue's in the pipe line) and Susannah is just that little bit different

Just call your daughter whatever you want to. My daughter gave her first daughter her other grandmas name as her middle name. I had no problem with it.