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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Not telling people what you're planning on calling the baby

48 replies

AppleyEverAfter · 12/05/2011 11:12

We fancy Kate for a girl or Samuel for a boy. They are really the only names we both love but I'm still holding out for Francesca if it's a girl (20 weeks gone atm). DH isn't so keen.

I have told a few people what our shortlist is but I don't want to tell everyone just in case we change our minds or, even worse, get negative comments about our choices.

Did you tell people your plans or keep schtum until the birth? Am I being daft in not wanting everyone to know what our unborn child might be called? This is our first baby (as you can probably guess!).

OP posts:

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wolfhound · 12/05/2011 11:23

We never tell anyone the names. No point. Once the baby's born, we announce it as part of the birth announcement ('baby xxxxx born at xpm yesterday, xlbsxoz, mum and baby doing well' sort of thing). To me, once you tell a few people you might as well tell everyone. But I have friends who've happily told everyone the name after the 20 week scan. Do whatever you want, but I think you do run the risk of negative comments before the birth (which we didn't want).

peeriebear · 12/05/2011 11:25

We didn't tell people our choices, to me it spoils the surprise :)

Eglu · 12/05/2011 11:26

I have never told anyone. I don't want them to feel they have an opportunity to give their opinion. My Mum keeps asking this time as we know the sex. She never asked previously. I just tell her we haven't decided.

MamaLazarou · 12/05/2011 11:27

No, we didn't tell anyone our choices, or our shortlist. My friend did this with her first baby - she knew he was a boy, and chose the name Joshua. It kind of took the point out of the birth announcement: 'I've had a boy! he's called Joshua!'. Er, yes, I know...

I also can't imagine deciding on a name for someone without actually meeting them first.

Original poster

AppleyEverAfter · 12/05/2011 11:28

Eglu my MIL asked this weekend, DH told her to ask me and I said we have some ideas but didn't want to say in case we changed our minds. I felt bad but I know she'd tell everyone!

OP posts:

MovingAndScared · 12/05/2011 11:35

Nope never told anyone - although we have more unusual names than that so we didn't want it to be an issue - I like Francesca BTW

pinkgirlythoughts · 12/05/2011 11:36

I've always just said we have some ideas, but nothing definite, and then said a couple of names from our shortlist. We aren't really 100% definite, and I don't want to tell everyone a certain name then change our minds about it!

daisybear · 12/05/2011 11:36

Don't tell people!!
When i first found out i was having a girl i was so excited i told my mum and some close friends some names on our lists..... then came the opinions and it put me off some lovely names. Like one i loved my friend didn't like cos she knew a thief with that name.....so totally put me off.
I have sinse kept quiet about any names we have under our sleeve and only ask on here for opinions on them
it'll also be a nice suprise when u announce the birth and also there is the fact that u might see your baby and change your mind about the name.
good luck choosing anyway

yomellamoHelly · 12/05/2011 11:39

Wouldn't even mention shortlist tbh. No-one was very keen on ds2's name when he was born. Lots of "oh! ..." comments, but I still love it 4 years on.

amandine07 · 12/05/2011 12:18

I'd say don't worry about it, keep it to yourselves if that's what you want to do...of course people are interested/nosy & it doesn't really matter what other people- there will always be someone who doesn't like x name or knew a bully called x.
I find it strange when people refer to their baby by first name even in the early-ish stages of PG, as if it's here already...maybe it's just me, I'd feel like I was tempting fate or something :(

BornAgainBitch · 12/05/2011 12:21

I would tell other pregnant people, but ask them to keep it to themselves. She have to get your mark on the name, otherwise someone else could accidentally 'pinch' it.

amandine07 · 12/05/2011 12:30

Good point BAB!
I would be really annoyed if a friend or relative picked the same name as me for their baby-but then again, if I hadn't told anyone then I couldn't really complain!

PrincessScrumpy · 12/05/2011 12:41

DD1 was going to be Poppy - when she was born she just didn't look like a Poppy - she needed a stronger name so we went for Lydia. I was so glad we didn't tell anyone before. Also, people give negative comments about names beforehand but won't once it's your child's name. I'm pg with twins and we think we have names sorted but will keep that as the surprise after - it's nice for us to have a secret.

DD1 keeps naming them - so far Heidi (a name we will probably use) and Raspberry! Hmmmm, her other name was dandelion as she loves the flowers!

There are 3 others pg at work and they've told their names that are completely different from ours so just hoping we won't have a clash.

Iggly · 12/05/2011 12:47

Nope we didn't tell. Didn't reveal a shortlist either. I remember a friend telling me the name of hers and it seemed weird somehow. I mean baby isn't here, you might decide the name doesn't suit... Nothing wrong with a surprise surely?!

peeriebear · 12/05/2011 13:04

It's a very good point that you might change your mind. We had DD2's name picked out, and when she was delivered I said to DH "so are we going with XX then?" He said "I don't think I like that one any more" so I suggested a very similar name from the shortlist (one letter difference) and now we love it.

peeriebear · 12/05/2011 13:05

Oh Princess, when I was pg with DD2, DD1 decided we should call the baby Poodle :)

speakercorner · 12/05/2011 15:15

I didn't tell anyone any of our names, because I wasn't interested in their opinions (and I didn't want any of the 'Oh no, I knew a girl like that when I was at school and she was a right bully'). I said they could make suggestions if they wanted, but it's no fun if the mum-to-be doesn't join in so they quickly stopped. DH and I loved making our baby-name lists.

My mum found it really annoying - almost an affront - that I wouldn't tell her.

pozzled · 12/05/2011 15:20

We shared our name, with both DD1 and DD2 who is due in a few weeks. Both times we have made a point of saying 'This is our choice at the moment, but we reserve the right to change our minds!' I found that no one has commented negatively, and I think it's harder for others to be negative about a name that you have chosen compared to one you are considering. If you're still considering it, they might feel they have a duty to persuade you against it if they hate it!

If I definitely didn't want to tell I would pretend that we hadn't decided- somthing like 'Oh, we have a few in mind but we're not quite sure.' Then it sounds less like you're keeping a secret.

starfishmummy · 12/05/2011 15:24

We didnt tell anyone either, and I think only one person asked. Tbh I would never dream of asking anyone anyway.

MercurySoccer · 12/05/2011 16:25

I think it's normal to keep the name for when the baby arrives.

highlystrung · 12/05/2011 20:23

Oh I hate it when people won't even tell you what names they like!! I can understand the logic but when someone's having a baby talking about names is great fun, and people are interested in you and your baby, which is a nice thing.

TheSecondComing · 12/05/2011 20:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

chocolatchaud · 12/05/2011 20:51

I think it's half the fun of being pregnant - discussing names with your friends! I have always discussed the shortlist, which tended to vary on an hourly basis, but not revealed the chosen name until, ummm......... about 2 weeks after the baby was born and we finally agreed on something!

davidtennantsmistress · 12/05/2011 20:55

i've told my mum our prefered choice but no one else - just given 3 random old ones we liked, but added that it keeps changing every week so no firm choices on first names only the middle names. (and to be fair only we know what sex we're having as well)

FWIW our chosen name is Wyatt.

thisonehasalittlecar · 12/05/2011 20:59

I didn't tell anyone the name I picked out for dd when I was pregnant. Including dh.

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