Are we being mean not telling anyone our names?

[Newmummytobe79]

We think we have a girls and a boys name ... but still have time to change our minds! We don't want to tell anyone and introduce baby with name as we hand her/him over for first cuddle - even with grandparents. My Mum and Dad have accepted this (although I can tell my Mum really wants to know!) but his Mum keeps asking me to tell her. She pretty much begged me last night and I feel really mean ... but really don't want to tell anyone! Am I being mean or is she pushing me when she shouldn't? We got so many names thrown at us from husbands family (seriously lists have been made!) that we've asked them to keep their names secret from us and then we can see if anyone gets it 'correct' after baby is born. It's doing my head in but I'm being very polite and smiling at the odd name that gets 'mentioned'. I just feel that our decision to keep it secret is being made into a big deal - when it's not ... I just want a suprise on the sex and to suprise friends and family with the name ... and if they hate it - by then it's tough! :) x

If you are anyone of my good pregnant friends, yes you are mean and being deliberately awkward!!! You know I will love your choice.

If you're really thick skinned - go on and tell. Fine not to but don't expect the really rude people you tried to avoid telling before not to express their views anyway, after it's done and dusted. Some people just can't help themselves.

You're not being mean at all. They should just drop it, it's obvious you don't want to tell them yet. But TBH it would have been easier if you had just said you hadn't chosen a name yet.

We didn't want to tell anyone before DS was born for the same reasons that quasi gave so we said we hadn't decided yet. We still joined in with all the baby name chats but kept it vague. My sister even bought us a book of baby names for Christmas and we all had a fun afternoon discussing possible names.

Why don't you just give MIL a fake name to shut her up?

Phooey on everyone else. Your baby. Your name. Your decision.

I think it's silly and precious to refuse to tell people the name you are going to give your kid.

I seriously do not get it.

I think most people keep it quiet as there is no fun introducing girl/boy called X. The only news left to tell/ask is the weight and people only do that to be polite! I love waiting to find out friends babies sex and name - or else it's just like I'm waiting for so-and-so to arrive. Plus, I've had terrible things happen to my friends before and sometimes it's best not to give the little-one a personality before it arrives. Each to their own though. x

Turn it into a guess the name sweepstake, let FIL run it and then you "can't possibly tell anyone close to you (mum/MIL) which names we are considering, as otherwise that's an unfair advantage".

It's fine to keep the names a secret until the baby arrives :)

I'm in two minds about this one.

We are due our bub v. soon and haven't told anyone at all our names. Partly it's because we don't know the sex and we want to keep it all a nice surprise but it's also due to the whole catsbumface thing (ha ha!). People are so opnionated it's pathetic. People also need to realise that you will call your baby what YOU want to call him/her - and their input isn't welcome. I feel myself tense up every time someone makes a suggestion!

Now there is a flip side to this that others have mentioned - I know so many people who have recently had/are due to have babies and unfortunately 'our' name for a boy has been used by a couple of friends of friends. Every time it's happened it's really upset me and in a way I wish we had have set out our stall from the beginning so to speak and said what we had chosen for each, so people don't think we've copied (immature for people to imply that I know but I have a few so-called friends who will say this to take the shine off things - but stuff them!).

I can't believe a gran would just refuse to call a child their name??? u must be a very understanding person! I know some people don't get it but I would love to have a name that is kind of unique to my child in the sense that there are not loads around (not totally crazy) There are loads of lovely names in the top 20 but having had a common name and forever being known by name and second initial I like the idea of a bit more unique. Also I think its lovely to tell everyone when baby is here!

Don't blame you at all.

I've had the face pulling from my mum and MIL on different names DP and I have mulled over this time round. You'd think I'd have learned my lesson from when I had DD1 but no, I'm still lousy at keeping my mouth shut

In fairness DP told his mum we liked the name William for a boy to which she said "oh no! Not another one! My dad was called William! There's loads in the family!" yes that's the fucking point. DP wants to name baby after his grandad, who he loved very much. There is plenty through out the family tree, mine too actually but I bet quite a few british families have aleast one William in their family tree somewhere.

We then got tonnes of really "helpful" suggestions of less "dull" names like Sam, Finn, Joseph, Matthew, DP's own name . And then ofcourse girl's names were picked over and the suggestions for a girl were: Caitlin, Rebecca, Jessica, SIL's name...

I'm not saying there is anything wrong with those names she suggested btw, but I fail to see how any of them are any more original or less "dull" than William

I make the face quite alot at my MIL...