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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

DSs sharing a name?

80 replies

rihannaray · 31/01/2011 03:19

When i was pg with DS we couldn't decide wether to call him Samuel (DH's choice) or Xavier (my choice.) We thought ok, we'll call him Samuel and keep Xavier incase we have another one in the future.

After a very difficult birth the docs said it looked like I'd never be able to carry another baby. So, still desperate to use my name choice, we named him Samuel Xavier Lastname.

Just found out, 4 years later, that I was pg again and it's another DS. I still really want to use Xavier and don't think it really matters that they'll share the name, it's no different than dads and sons having the same name, is it? DH thinks it's too weird, ILs agree with him and I'm starting to question myself now. Is it weird?

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MarniesMummy · 31/01/2011 16:49

My 3 DD's share a name, it's my surname.
Admittedly in the case of all 3 it's a middle name but nevertheless it's a shared nme.

It's common practice in Scotland.

I know the situation is a bit different but I think you should go ahead particularly because your boys will have an explanation that links them both and highlights what a blessing they both are.

Greeninkmama · 31/01/2011 17:13

Oh just do it. My DH has his older brother's middle name as a first name. It's a bit of a family joke, but nobody worries about it least of all him.

Greeninkmama · 31/01/2011 17:14

And it is wonderful news that you are having another baby. Congratulations!

PorkChopSter · 31/01/2011 17:20

I've been rethinking this and it occurs to me you'd save a fortune on name tapes & labels.

ShowOfHands · 31/01/2011 17:21

Congratulations, what lovely news.

I know two sets of brothers where the eldest's middle name is the youngest's first name. One set grown up, the other 14 and 12. Both happy with it and never been any problem.

blueberryboybaitonSafari · 31/01/2011 17:24

I am X Y Z lastname and Dsis is Z Y lastname. It never really bother either of us unless I was being particularly nasty then I would tall her that our parents were so bored of naming children when she arrived the just made her a backwards version of me and . As long as the rest of their names are individual I wouldn't fuss!

Violethill · 31/01/2011 17:57

Congratulations!

I wouldn't re-use the name, because you gave it to ds1, and I think it would always feel a bit like ds2 was being shortchanged.

There must be other names you both like?

sparkle12mar08 · 31/01/2011 20:33

Give them the same middle name by all means, but don't use it as a first name for a second child. It screams second best and is not fair. Each of your children are much wanted and unique individuals. They deserve names that accord them that respect.

ImFab · 31/01/2011 20:34

Not strange, have heard weirder things.

Go for it!

jeee · 31/01/2011 20:37

I don't think that it's that odd - and anyway, as lots of others have said, middle names are rarely used.

But if your DH is dead set against it, the oddness of it is fairly irrelevant, surely?

Wafflenose · 31/01/2011 21:17

Although the circumstances were different for us, we ended up using a name we both agreed on for DD1 and my favourite name for her middle name. I wanted to save it, but obviously couldn't guarantee that I'd ever have another girl. If I'd known what I know now, I'd have saved it (it's Alexandra!) but when DD2 came along we managed to think of different names which I now love just as much, and which actually suit her better than Alexandra would have.

PracticallyImperfectInEveryWay · 31/01/2011 23:14

My MIL's fathers name was Arthur James. Her brother always said that if he had a boy he would call him James. MIL also loved the name but didn't want to use it because of her brother so she gave it to DH (she assumed was her last baby) as a mn. Her brother then went on to have 2 girls.

When DH's younger brother was born quite a few years later they called him James. So DH is N James and BIL is James T. It doesn't bother them in the least.

threefeethighandrising · 01/02/2011 02:39

Congratulations!

I'd go for it. Let your little one know what a miracle baby he was, and it'll be part of his story.

DelicateFluffyBunny · 01/02/2011 02:50

My DS3 is called Alexander - which is my DS1's middle name. There were no other names I loved as much.

It's not like anyone really uses their middle names so I don't think it's a big deal to 'recycle' a name.

I'd have regretted it if I'd gone with a different name that I didn't like as much.

The only problem I've encountered is when giving my DS1 a telling off - I can't yell, "James Alexander Lastname, stop that right now!", because my youngest will think he's in trouble too when he hears the Alexander.

evamummy · 01/02/2011 10:07

But the issue is not how often or whether a middle name is actually used. The issue is that a name (first or second) is part of someone's identity and therefore there is an emotional element. I don't think it is fair for DS2 not to get his very own names. He deserves it.

iskra · 01/02/2011 10:37

I think it's fine. I have the same middle name as my siblings.

sparkle12mar08 · 01/02/2011 11:14

Having the same middle name is different, it's a nice, special link between siblings. Having your elder siblings middle name as your own first name smacks of laziness and couldn't-be-bothered-to-think-of-something disrepect to many of us. These are individual children and deserve their own individual names.

threeinthebed · 02/02/2011 01:58

My first name is my oldest sister's middle name. It has never bothered me; in fact I quite like sharing a name with her. I certainly have never felt like I had been robbed of my individuality. Surely such doubts of your own identity would stem from much deeper and serious problems than simply sharing a name

hillee · 02/02/2011 02:39

OP, I don't think it's quite that complicated. If you want to do it, go for it. All will be well.

And for a bit of first hand experience, all four of my siblings have the same middle name - my mother's maiden name. I think it's lovely and I have continued the tradition with my DD, and will do so with all future DCs.

But if you want something truly outrageous,in my father's family all boys are baptised William Secondname. And then called by their second name. My grandfather was one of six boys and it started with them. So you can only imagine...

Most people think it's hilarious rather than being disrespectful or causing some kind of identity crisis.

anonymosity · 02/02/2011 05:17

Do it, its fine. There will be more than 4 yrs between them at school so no confusions there and its not like you call each child by their full names, first middle and last - every time you address them is it?

I have heard of families doing this, David Michael then Michael David then Andrew David and Peter Michael and so on.

It matters little and is not weird. It would be weird if you called your first son Prince Michael and the second one Prince Michael the Second....

spottyock · 22/02/2011 14:03

I love the name Xavier.

Aside from that I think it would be OK given the circumstances.

DH has a friend who has the same first name as his brother. One is known by his middle name.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 22/02/2011 14:28

We did the same thing. Had two names we loved and gave DD both as first and middle. Should we ever have another DD I toyed with the idea of giving her the other favourite name but I couldn't do it. It's DD's name now.

rasta · 22/02/2011 14:37

Both my DDs have the same middle name. No big deal.

2and1ontheway · 22/02/2011 15:09

I don't know the "right" answer to this, but just wanted to add that a 4 year old may well love the idea of sharing a name with his brother, but it doesn't mean he will as a teen. I am only adding this because I am expecting DS2, and DS was suggesting lots of names for the baby, but DS (completely spontaneously) suggested we should give the baby the same name as him (he meant his first name). Obviously we are not taking him up on the suggestion and have explained to him it might be confusing! I just wanted to add my 2p worth as I am usually all for discussing things with children etc. but don't think a 4 year old is really in a position to think long term about this!

On a different note it was historically quite common to re-use names this way, and is not so different from giving a child a parent's name as a middle name, I don't think it would be a huge deal in the future especially if the boys know the reason as a "family story" rather than it being something that isn't talked about. Only real down side I can see is it "looks as if" you couldn't think of anything else...

2and1ontheway · 22/02/2011 15:10

that should have read DD was suggesting lots of names (as opposed to DS who was suggesting naming the baby after himself)

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