How do I 'get over' a name?

[SarahScotChristmasSpirit]

Ever since we found out we were having a girl I have wanted to call her Marnie. I LOVE the name. DH said I could basically choose this baby's name as he chose DS's name.
However, in the last few days he's told me he doesn't like Marnie and we have to think of something else. But, I CAN'T, I can only think of Marnie, nothing else comes close. It doesn't help that he doesn't actually have any other suggestions. I feel he's been incredibly unfair letting me carry on for months thinking my daughter's name is Marnie, in my mind that's her name now and I can't think of or like anything else. Maybe if he'd told me months ago that he didn't like Marnie I would've been able to dismiss it and move on.

If he genuinely agreed you could choose the name, I think he needs to let you choose the name.

How many weeks are you and have you told him how upset you feel about it? Does he really hate it or has he just gone off it a bit?

I think it's a lovely name btw.

Maybe he found it hard to speak up if you were so dead set on it. Sounds like you were being more unfair to him by not giving him any choice in the matter, sorry.

I think he's being unreasonable as he said you could chose and also because he hasn't come up with anything else.

RockinRobinBird, it's not so much that he was getting no choice at all, I wouldn't be that of a dictator. The problem is that he let me think he was okay with it so it became more and more set in stone in my mind.

Besom, I'm 30 weeks so have time to get over it I suppose. I cried when he told me so yes, I think he probably knows but has chosen to ignore the fact I was that upset by not mentioning it at all.

MontySorry, love your name btw. And yes, I think I'd be less pissed off if he actually had any alternatives in mind!

If he doesnt like the name - back to the drawing board.

Personally I do not like the name.

I would just be firm that it's Marnie until a suitable alternative is, if ever, decided on.

V unreasonable of your dh.

I know a Marnie - she's 3 and fab. Love the name.

My dh was a bit like this in the sense that he kept saying no to everything I suggested but failing to come up with anything of his own.

After dd was born he suggested one of the names I had originally said.

Well there is that. Until he comes up with some suggestions then he's not really in a position to object.

it's his child too and if he really doesn't like the name it's not fair to force him into it.

find something you can both agree on.

FWIW, I don't like Marnie at all.

If you force him into a name that he has told you he doesn't like, couldn't that affect his bonding with your DD?

We found it really hard to find a girls name that we both liked and this was also hampered by DH not suggesting anything but saying no to a lot of my suggestions. In the end we named her once she arrived.

FWIW Marnie sounds like Sarnie. Don't like it at all sorry.

It has to be a joint decision. All my DCs have different names to the ones that I would have chosen on my own. Names are always a compromise, unless you are lucky. It is a bit rash to say that one can choose, and something to regret if they come up with Marnie!

Okay, sensitive hormonal pregnant woman here, already upset by the 'loss' of a name I love, the slating comments aren't helpful.

Also, I never stated I was going to force DH into calling our daughter a name he didn't like, and completely agree that would be completely unreasonable. My original question was 'how do I get past it', not 'how will I force my DH to agree with me.'

I'm sure I wouldn't like a lot of your children's names, but I wouldn't be rude enough to say it, especially when not specifically asked. If we all liked to same names none of us would have a problem with naming our kids would we?

Yeah you both have to love it, its his decision too. Marnie is awful in my opinion...

I love Marnie...my DH didn't. Then I loved another name which he refused...we called DD something else and I have NEVER gotten over "my" name. I still hope I will have anoher girl and this time I will insist on m name. It feels right.

Wimple, what was your other name? (desperately clutching at straws, we must have the same taste in names.)

Could you go for something longer that Marnie could be a nickname for? Would he accept Marina?

(I'm sure others will be alone soon with other names it could be a nickname for...)

Marnie as a middle name perhaps?

Armani

Woah, I'm with OP here, she wanted advice about how to get 'over' her name not force it on her DH! I had this with my recently born DD2, I really wanted a name and really felt like there wasn't going to be anything I loved as much, and then it feels like your going to have to give your DC a second rate name Its even worse in your case because your DH went along with it for so long (my DH said no straight away!)

You need to just put this name out of the running, compile a list of girls names you like even if you know you wouldn't use them (except Marnie obviously!) to remind yourself you do like other names and use that as a starting point. Saying that we found two names, picked one, have changed our minds and are in the process of changing (not to my orginal one though!) Good luck!

I honestly dont think you do get "over" the name you have your heart set on. I love the name Sebastian my dh hates it so our son is not called Sebastian our oldest is called "his" name that he has always loved. that resulted in my favourite girls name couldnt be used as that that would be a bit to twwee (think something liek Bill and Ben laughs)

I still now adore Sebastian but it was not possible and it is not a name I have ever " got over"..

How about names like Sadie, Phoebe, Miley to get something close to Marnie?

I like the idea of using ti as a first name. I susepct your dh knew you loved it and thought he would get used to it but now just cant.

I do love Marnie its a gorgeous name and I can completely see why you love it.

I'm gobsmacked at how many people have come on here to slate the name the OP loves. Anyone would think she wants to call her DD, Cheeseburger or something!

If she had said she would like to call her DD Catherine or Eleanor then I'm sure she would have received less digging.

Of course it should be a joint decision but lots of posts on here seem to be taking the, 'well it's horrible so I don't blame him' stance.

I think the main thing you need to do is to remain open minded. You still have lots of weeks left so approach them with a truly open mind.
I was absolutely 100% set on one name for DS and then in the car one day, DH said suggested another name which hadn't even occurred to me but was everything I wanted.....quirky but not weird, unusual but not chavvy, etc etc etc. A week before and I would have told you my son would have been the other name with no shadow of a doubt!
Go on, open your mind