How do I 'get over' a name?

[SarahScotChristmasSpirit]

Ever since we found out we were having a girl I have wanted to call her Marnie. I LOVE the name. DH said I could basically choose this baby's name as he chose DS's name.
However, in the last few days he's told me he doesn't like Marnie and we have to think of something else. But, I CAN'T, I can only think of Marnie, nothing else comes close. It doesn't help that he doesn't actually have any other suggestions. I feel he's been incredibly unfair letting me carry on for months thinking my daughter's name is Marnie, in my mind that's her name now and I can't think of or like anything else. Maybe if he'd told me months ago that he didn't like Marnie I would've been able to dismiss it and move on.

It's the same as with a house, imo - you fall in love with one, it's the ONLY POSSIBLE house that your kids NEED to grow up in, you stand in the hallway and see the years unfolding, the christmas trees, etc.....

you're gazumped, you mourn it, but you HAVE to move on and then you find anouther house which is the ONLY POSSIBLE house and so on.......

Or is that just me?!

Thank you to those who've stuck up for me!

'Marnie' would've been a NN for Marion, my grandmother's name.

I think we will have to buy a name book, well, a more sensible one anyway. We have one that has 50,000 names in it, most of which appear to have been completely made up and/or are just a random string of letters.

Well I still get sad over a house we didn't get 10yrs ago so maybe I'm not best placed to give advice!

Has he said why he doesn't like the name? Too short, too unusual, can't be shortened etc?

What about Marcie or Macy?

I think your husband has done the right thing, but in a very ham-fisted way.

Both of you should agree on the name, of course you should. I think it was naive of you both to make your initial agreement to hand the reins over to you. I do feel very sorry for you that you're so hurt about it now, it can't be easy. But you will get over it in time, and in the meantime you should both sit down together and go through a k
list of lovely girls' names so that you can both get excited about the arrival of your little beauty.

Do you like the sound of any of these:

Joni
Cassie
Anya
Emmy
Estelle
Donna
Ruthie
Zara

You will both find a name that you love, and then before you know it you'll be melting over how gorgeous and charming your DD is!

Best of luck.

using it as a middle name not a first name (doh)

You will get over it. DH had to break it to me that "my" beloved and cherished name for DD meant something a bit offensive in his native language. Once the baby is here, you will only ever think of her by the name you ultimately give her...

I don't love DD3's name, DH chose it but the fact is i love her so the name is part of that. It's so much easier to discuss these things when the baby is here, I bet she looks like a Marnie

Was the plan to call your DD Marion and use Marnie as a nickname, or to name her Marnie as her given name? If the latter, is there any way he would go for naming her Marion and letting you use Marnie as a nickname? Or something else for which Marnie is a plausible nickname, such as Marina?

He should have said earlier if he didn't like the name you thought you were going to be using. Very poor show there.

Yes, she would've been called Marion officially, but I was planning on only ever calling her Marnie.

Going to bed now but thank you everyone for your input.

Sorry you can't have the name you loved but if your DH doesn't agree it's hard to see how you can progress with it. Something very similar instead? Marcia (Marcie?) Connie? I think those saying they didn't like Marnie anyway are trying to help you get over it as opposed to just slating your choice. I think it possibly more painful if people said "what a fab name, I love it, it's going on my shortlist" etc that would probably make you feel worse!

FWIW Marnie puts me both in mind of the film Marnie with the beautiful Tippi Hedren (good) but also of the word Mardy which means moody/grumpy (bad), maybe your DH also has similar mixed connotations whatever they may be? have you asked him why he doesn't like it (suddenly, too, after appearing to like it before?) Why's he changed his mind?

I know the name has significance for you so changing it to something that sounds similar probably won't do it for you but how about Maisie? I love that name!

It doesn't seem like it now but you'll get over it in time.

When your DD is older and you only know her by the new name you choose, I'm sure it wont matter so much.

The best way to get over it to look forward and treat as a bit of fun to get all the name books out again and who knows maybe you'll find something you like even better.

How about Marianne, then introduce Marnie as NN? Or Marina?

I think you will find a name you both agree on as her first name, but that you should get Marnie as her middle name, so you don't have to lose the name forever.

If this helps- I have a friend (mid 20s) who is a Marnie and who has always hated her name. She used to be teased by being called 'Mom-my...'.

It seems especially unfair since you DH named your DS.

Think about why you like the name. Is is because you you prefer shorter, 2 syllables names? Or do you like the 'ee' ending? Do you prefer names that start with M? Try to break down the exact reason for why you like the name.

Names that I think have a similar feel to Marnie (2 syllables/ starting with M) are Mari, Marta, Molly, Martha, Mia and Megan.

If you like the 'ee' ending how about Amy, Milly, Toni.

Longer names that IMO similar feel to Marion/Marnie could be Imogen/Immy, Amelia/Melly.

Also try and see and see the name as a whole package, something that suits your surname.

Names have to involve a bit of compromise, I'm afraid. You can't give your child a name that your DH hates (although it was wrong of him to say you could choose the name and then renege on that). Back to the drawing board?

Marnie is awful, I have to say. I'm not saying that for the sake of being mean, but because I can see why your DH would strongly dislike that name. It's not a classic, is it?

Also I remember my friend didn't like it being shortened to 'Marns'.