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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Mum hates my baby name, wdyt?

53 replies

illhaveabrandy · 16/12/2010 01:26

I'm 5 months pg with twins-- both boys. We had a name for one of the babies quite early on but we just couldn't agree on a name for other baby. FINALLY we came across Jensen, which we both loved.
Yay yay, happy happy.

Today I told my mum the names we have chosen and she was horrified; "Jensen? Oh no! I once knew a Jensen and he was awful..." GRR. What do I do now?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

GwennieF · 16/12/2010 13:23

Ignore her! She'll stop being so daft eventually.

Though saying that, 5 months on, my DM still won't use my DD's name and has made up her own nickname for her!

abeautifulbutterfly · 16/12/2010 13:27

My oh-so-charming MIL, when presented with GDG2 (already named Pola) and introduced, looked at her dramatically, and with stage tears in her eyes, said "Oh, but to me you will always be Kasia. I always wanted a little girl called Kasia." Not good for me in my fragile emotional state 4 days after giving birth! The name had/has never been mentioned before or since.

Go for Jensen, she will have to get over it.

AllieW · 16/12/2010 13:27

Tempting in that instance, Gwennie, to persuade your DD to make up a nickname for your Mum and refuse to call her Gran/Nan!!

TheHoneydragonsInTheIvy · 16/12/2010 13:34

GwennieF

MiL did this too - they stop eventually

serendipity16 · 16/12/2010 14:05

Jensen is a lovely name..... i just named my baby that, he's 3wks old .

My MIL doesn't really like the name, she is a little old (76) & at first thought we'd called him Jason & said 'Oh thats a nice, normal name' & wasn't too happy when dh said 'No his name is Jensen'.

Have also had people say we should spell it Jenson. I don't care we love the name Jensen & have spelt it that way & we're not going to change it for anyone.

Stick to your guns, people ALWAYS have an opinion on possible names. If you both love it, you use it.

MadamDeathstare · 16/12/2010 14:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AllieW · 16/12/2010 14:59

Yes it is: babynamesworld.parentsconnect.com/meaning_of_Jensen.html

mathanxiety · 16/12/2010 15:10

Just Do It.

Jensen is really lovely. It's none of your mum's business when it's all boiled down. And she doesn't get to refuse permission, or give permission either for your baby's name.

bessie26 · 16/12/2010 15:12

as you're only 5 months, it's possible you might change your mind before they arrive (we changed our mind about DD's name when she popped out), so I wouldn't make an issue out of it, but if you want to name your baby Jensen (lovely name btw) then go for it - she'll get over it!

from now on, don't talk about names with anyone other than DH until after those babies arrive!

KenDoddsDadsDogEatsTinsel · 16/12/2010 15:14

Decide and then keep it quiet. My parents were the only people I told and hated the name I chose. Still used it but I was upset at the time.

taintedsnow · 16/12/2010 15:35

I used to be just as militant about names as some people are, but I've softened. I think if you tell people the name you're thinking of using, you have to expect some kind of reaction to it, and not all reactions will be good, and neither should they be. The only way to combat this is to hold off from telling people until after the baby (well babies in this case!) is born. Then afterwards, people can still dislike the name if they want, but it's not longer a name, it's a person, so the bad reactions are generally diluted.

I don't like the idea of people holding in a bad feeling about a name just to not upset the parents. If you'd chosen a horrific name (which you haven't, OP!), with a terrible history or meaning, wouldn't you rather someone informed you of it? I would.

diddl · 16/12/2010 16:06

Ideally, you should only give an opinion when asked for one.

"I don't like the idea of people holding in a bad feeling about a name just to not upset the parents. If you'd chosen a horrific name (which you haven't, OP!), with a terrible history or meaning, wouldn't you rather someone informed you of it? I would."

Well, if it was a mass murderer or something.

But it´s just someone who the OPs mum didn´t like-which doesn´t mean even mean that he was unlikeable tbh!

BuntyPenfold · 16/12/2010 17:32

I know a lovely Jensen aged 9. Kind, clever, polite, funny.

girlsyearapart · 18/12/2010 13:43

diddl you're not the only one! We told the ils that baby Tilly (Matilda) had been born.
Mil Said on phone she didn't like it.
Came over after we got home-same day as birth- and did not stop going on and on and on about how she didn't like it and would not call her that name.
She then stayed away without visiting for around a week which was previously unheard of.
I'm hoping she realised she had hurt my feelings and embarrassed herself.
She went through a few months of calling her 'the baby' and now ocassionally calls her Matilda but never Tilly.
I have never encountered such breathtaking rudeness in my life! So OP don't discuss your names , the majority of (normal) people won't say anything if the baby has been named already.
If we ever had a 4th I would actively find a name mil doesn't like and use that !!

BelligerentYhoULE · 18/12/2010 13:45

Whilist Jensen is not a name I like at all, it really isn't anything to do with your mum what YOU call YOUR baby, you know.

And you will probably change your mind as often as you change your socks in the next four months tbh.

rocketleaf · 18/12/2010 13:58

I like Jensen, not that my opinion or anyone else's including your mums matters. You stick to your guns, she'll get over it.

I was a bit iffy about the name my sister chose for her youngest, I didn't say so of course and now I don't even think about it. She just is her name.

One of my best friends could not understand why I won't discuss our name choices with ANYONE. I think she thinks I am being precious and said of course she would never say anything negative about names I suggested. But what she doesn't understand is that I could TELL if she had a negative reaction to a particular name and TBH its really no one else's business apart from myself and DH.

girlsayearapart, I think Tilly is a lovely name, there's no accounting (for your MIL's poor) taste is there?

MardyQuickFollowThatStar · 18/12/2010 14:00

Not read the whole thread.

My parents hated our chosen names for both DC. We waited until nearly the 6 week deadline to finalise and register the names and by then they were grateful to get any name at all.

FWIW they now quite like the names.

GrimmaTheNome · 18/12/2010 14:05

DH and I could only find one name for our expected DD which we both liked. Visited MIL, who, not knowing our choice, started discussing names 'Anything but XXX, I knew an XXX who used to wee in the street'

We laughed, told her that actually was our choice.

End Of. I think MIL has totally forgotten the previous unfortunate association, eclipsed by her delight in our XXX.

ProfYaffle · 18/12/2010 14:07

My dd1 currently has a crush on a Jenson

Pil hated dd2's name, we had a few off comments, several months of mis-pronunciation/mis-spelling etc but it wore off fairly quickly. They just had to get used to it.

FairiesWearSnowBoots · 18/12/2010 14:11

Once your baby arrives he will be Jensen and the old Jensen will be forgotten and Jensen will become a lovely name in her eyes because it is her gorgeous grandson :)

My mum hated my DSs name before he was born, but once he arrived she loved him and his name is part of him and she won't admit that she didn't like it!

Valinor · 18/12/2010 17:55

My Mum doesn't particularly like what we've chosen for DD3 who's now 8 weeks old. She said she can't bring herself to call her said name (only her nn). I told her she would have to get used to it as it was mine and DH's choice.

We didn't name DD3 for ages and stupidly shared some of the names we were considering. One of the name on our list was Imogen and she didn't like that because she'd worked with a 'horrible one' (her words, not mine). This didn't actually put us off Imogen, we just decided to go with something else.

In the end it's your choice and you should go with what you like. How boring would it be if everyone liked the same names anyway?

NonnoMum · 18/12/2010 17:59

My only tip (for the future)- save mentioning the names for when you have pushed the baby/ies out (had 'em extracted).
Everyone is in awe of new life and a what a woman has done to get 'em out, that no-one argues...

Good luck.

gorionine · 18/12/2010 18:06

I would do as all the other posters have said and call him Jensen.

I never told anyone the name we had chosen, saves a lot off discussion.

TBH there is a chance with pretty much every name for someone to you know to have once bween at school with someone called that who was not nice (unless you call your child Wbnmhbuiph but it is very hard to pronounce and not as cool a name as Jensen)

Blu · 18/12/2010 18:11

There should be a huge flashing banner right across the top of MN that says 'do not divulge baby names to your friends or relatives before the birth. Ever. It will end in tears. It cannot be decided by Committee'.

By the time the baby is born, that will steal the excitement and focus. And only the most rude will comment negatively once the deed is done.

It's your OWN FAULT. Now steel yourself and take no notice.

DrSeuss · 18/12/2010 19:04

Unless she's planning on giving birth to the child, she doesn't get a vote. You do. The father does. She doesn't.

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