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Is this wrong??? (Christmas card question)

28 replies

kimi · 19/08/2006 14:37

DPs mother makes her own cards (very nice they are too) Im useless at this type of thing, but have 2 cousins who is beyond wonderful at it.
Am going to ask them to make me some lovely hand made cards for special people this xmas, and althought all of my family know i cant stick two bits of paper together to save my life and have brought the cards from my brilliant cousins, DPs mother wont, would it be really wrong to let her think i made it?
I wont say oh i made your card, but if she thinks i did do i really have to tell her it was not me?
Shes a really lovely lady, but VERY bright and great at making EVERYTHING and i feel a bit out of my depth with her.

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scotchick · 19/08/2006 14:38

If she asks if you made it why not just say no, it was your cousin? She won't think less of you will she? Your talents lie elsewhere (what I say to my kids!)

kimi · 19/08/2006 14:39

Also i would ask my cousin if it was ok to let her think i made the card.

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madmarchhare · 19/08/2006 14:40

I would just make your own anyway, if shes really that nice then she will think its great anyway.

I wouldnt pretend Id made something I hadnt.

kimi · 19/08/2006 14:42

But my own would be a mess of glue and glitter that even a 2 year old could out do, hers a all 3d snow flakes and wonderful creations beyond my doing, i fell really stupid when im around her.

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scotchick · 19/08/2006 14:43

Why do you feel the need to lie to her anyway? My MIL is a great cook, a real homemaker (my husband as a boy would be tucking into homemade cookies, while at my urban household we would be tucking into frozen pizza) and I cannot compete with that, but there's no point in even thinking of it - just different people.

WigWamBam · 19/08/2006 14:43

Why do you want to lie to her about something so small? Seems a strange thing to want to lie about. If you want beautiful cards, get them made and tell her who made them; if you want to make your own then make your own and she will appreciate them far more than if she thought you were trying to impress her - and lying about it.

You have talents in other areas, which I'm sure she can see and appreciate. Why do you feel the need for this one-upmanship?

kimi · 19/08/2006 14:50

Dont want one up man ship, just dont want her to know how useless i am.

Still if i let her think the card was mine then she might ask my how i made it ect and i would then look really stupid, so i will buy lovely handmade cards from my cousin and say oh it was made by my very brillient cousiin if she asks.

Got to be more to life then if i can cut out a snowflake

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madmarchhare · 19/08/2006 14:52

It doesnt matter if yours are crap. Get the glitter out and get your 2 yr old to help. Have fun.

WigWamBam · 19/08/2006 14:53

Not being able to make a card doesn't equate to being useless; why would you think that? Damned right there's more to life than whether you can cut a snowflake or not!

Why not help the children to make some special cards for her? That would mean far more to her than the most beautiful card made by someone else, and they don't have to be perfect ...

kimi · 19/08/2006 14:53

I dont have my own 2 year old, any one got one i can borrow??

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kimi · 19/08/2006 14:58

It just me and her son have not been together as a couple long, im 8 yars older then him, have 2 children (and wont be having any with him).
I guess i just want her to think im right for him, he is NOT big on sending cards and so i wanted her to have something nice from us, i made him text her happy mothers day this year and she was really happy "he " remembered.
Also the whole family are really smart, all Dr of this and Dr of that and i feel a bit of a let down as her sons choice of partner, ok i admit i have issues here way beyond a christmas card, but i would like to be good at something that she can relate to.

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WigWamBam · 19/08/2006 15:04

I hate to say it, but being able to make the perfect card isn't going to make her think you're the perfect partner for her son! You'll do that just by being you and being the best partner her son could ask for, not by trying to buy her respect with a fancy card.

Your partner could presumably have chosen to be with someone with Dr This and Sir That in their family - but he chose you. He doesn't think you're a let-down. You sound as if you have low self-esteem; continually comparing yourself with his mother and her talents won't help that at all.

You have skills and talents of your own; delight in those rather than comparing yourself with her.

morningpaper · 19/08/2006 15:09

How old are your children? Can you do a print of baby's footprint or something?

Cards are NOT HARD TO MAKE - there are LOTS of kits that can help you. Why not take an afternoon's class? There are loads on, especially near to Christmas, and you might fid that you have a real talent for it.

kimi · 19/08/2006 15:19

I dont compair myself with his mother as we are two totally differant people with very differant backgrounds and very differant out looks at life.

But (before her son and i got together) she would always send me and my family beautiful hand made cards and i would send her something from a Tesco selection box, and her son never sent her anything at all.

So this year i just wanted her to have something that a bit of thought went in to, (ok so not my thought).

I know i have talents of my own, but i dont think she would like a patchwork quilt somehow (thats what i can make),
She is a nice lady, has always been nice to me and excepted the whole thing of me and her son well, ok i will never beat her at trivial persuite, i will always use too much tea and soap powder but what the heck.

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kimi · 19/08/2006 15:21

Hi morningpapers, my boys are 10 and 6,
There is a great craft shop near to us and DS2 loves to make things, so i am going to brave it go to the shop, get a kit and have a go,
Thanks.

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madmarchhare · 19/08/2006 15:22

A patchwork quilt sounds lovely. Couldnt you make one to match in with her decor or a cushion cover maybe?

kimi · 19/08/2006 15:23

Still going to ask cousin to make us xmas cards though

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morningpaper · 19/08/2006 15:24

Why not make a christmas patchwork quilt, photograph it, and put that on a card?

Or make a patchwork tree-skirt for her christmas tree?

or a christmas table runner?

Or patchwork christmas tree decorations?

Or patchwork stockings?

Or a patchwork mantlepiece runner?

Or a very small patchwork card, with a christmas motif in the middle and some gold thread? Lots of american fabrics are great for christmas cards - small nativity pics etc.

kimi · 19/08/2006 15:25

She is not in too fussy quilts ect so bit of a waste of time to make one, house very nutral.

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kimi · 19/08/2006 15:26

Did send xmas cards of the boys a few years ago, can i get packs that your can put a photo in the card and decorate the boarders???

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morningpaper · 19/08/2006 15:27

Yes you can! nice and easy

madmarchhare · 19/08/2006 15:27

Just do plain then. You must be handy with a needle and thread to do all the fancy patchwork stuff.

Christmas decorations sound a nice idea though.

kimi · 19/08/2006 15:31

ok i really feel up for this now, im going to have a go, look out for HELP ME posts when it all goes wrong .

Must speak to cousin for pointers and order cards, but going to have a go at doing something, will start small and who know where it will lead

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kimi · 19/08/2006 15:33

God i love mumsnet, not only have i been talked out of a stupid idea, i now have the motivation to try something new , and know i can yell HELP and help will pop up.

Dont think i will be putting cousins out of bussiness any time soon though.

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madmarchhare · 19/08/2006 15:55

Yey, good for you .