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Original poster

Gender test

34 replies

AHBM2020 · 21/12/2024 21:13

Hi, I just read on NHS website that "Finding out the sex of your baby is not offered as part of the national screening programme." And that you MAY be able to find out the gender at 20 weeks by requesting it, but could be told no. Is this true? I wanted to potentially get my baby's gender written down so I could do a cake gender reveal with my close family. I don't want to spend £100 on private incase I get told the baby is in a bad position so they can't tell me

OP posts:
YouveGotAFastCar · 21/12/2024 21:16

You don’t get gender blood testing on the NHS unless you come back as high risk from the 12 week screening.

Some hospitals will tell you gender at 20 weeks, some won’t. Most won’t guess if it’s not obvious. Some will not write it down.

A lot of private scan places will rescan if they really can’t find out, but they’re not as time pressured, so they’ll usually keep trying until they can. If you’ve got your heart set on a gender reveal, I’d budget for a private scan.

MaltipooMama · 21/12/2024 21:16

I would be really surprised if they told you no at your screening, this hasn't happened to me or anyone I know so this can't be common surely! I did a SneakPeak home blood test which is £89 and you can do as early as 6 weeks. They check for certain chromosomes in your blood so it's very very accurate. I did this when I was expecting my son and I've just done it again for our second child!

Original poster
AHBM2020 · 21/12/2024 21:18

YouveGotAFastCar · 21/12/2024 21:16

You don’t get gender blood testing on the NHS unless you come back as high risk from the 12 week screening.

Some hospitals will tell you gender at 20 weeks, some won’t. Most won’t guess if it’s not obvious. Some will not write it down.

A lot of private scan places will rescan if they really can’t find out, but they’re not as time pressured, so they’ll usually keep trying until they can. If you’ve got your heart set on a gender reveal, I’d budget for a private scan.

Yeah I knew you wouldn't get gender blood testing unless a test was necessary; I just thought the NHS would ensure a gender scan at some point in your pregnancy. It's a bit disappointing to hear they won't! But I'll have a look at a few private places around me when the time is closer

OP posts:
Namesy · 22/12/2024 07:58

The 20 week test is to check that baby is developing normally. I was told my baby's sex at the end because she's obviously a girl. The sonographer still said there's a chance of a mistake as boys can hide their bits. I have a girl. I think 'gender reveals' are really stupid. Just find out the sex and let your family know. No need for confetti and coloured cake.

JinglingBells0 · 22/12/2024 08:00

I just thought the NHS would ensure a gender scan at some point in your pregnancy

Why?!

rubyslippers · 22/12/2024 08:05

AHBM2020 · 21/12/2024 21:18

Yeah I knew you wouldn't get gender blood testing unless a test was necessary; I just thought the NHS would ensure a gender scan at some point in your pregnancy. It's a bit disappointing to hear they won't! But I'll have a look at a few private places around me when the time is closer

Show quote history

I think maybe your confusion has come from the 20 week scan which is an anomaly scan but seems to be the one where everyone finds out the sex (or wants to)
NHS don’t screen for sex
I think you’re going to have to pay privately and even then scans can be wrong

Sesame2011 · 22/12/2024 08:07

I got a leaflet about the 20w anomaly scan from my hospital. I'm only 12w so not had it yet. The leaflet said that during the scan if they can see the sex then they will verbally say boy or girl however they will not write it down. So if you also want to be surprised at your own gender reveal then it wouldn't work. I'm thinking about booking a private scan around 17w so they can write it down and we can be surprised. However I moreso want the scan to check in on baby as I have a lot of anxiety!

Original poster
AHBM2020 · 22/12/2024 08:08

Namesy · 22/12/2024 07:58

The 20 week test is to check that baby is developing normally. I was told my baby's sex at the end because she's obviously a girl. The sonographer still said there's a chance of a mistake as boys can hide their bits. I have a girl. I think 'gender reveals' are really stupid. Just find out the sex and let your family know. No need for confetti and coloured cake.

Edited

I think as long as it's healthy, doesn't hurt anybody, mothers should be able to celebrate however they want 🤷🏻‍♀️ you sound a bit miserable. What's wrong with meeting your whole family, and cutting a cake together to then share it in happiness? There's people out there hurting wildlife with those smoke bombs, but it's bad for me to have a simple cake cutting?

OP posts:
Namesy · 22/12/2024 08:15

AHBM2020 · 22/12/2024 08:08

I think as long as it's healthy, doesn't hurt anybody, mothers should be able to celebrate however they want 🤷🏻‍♀️ you sound a bit miserable. What's wrong with meeting your whole family, and cutting a cake together to then share it in happiness? There's people out there hurting wildlife with those smoke bombs, but it's bad for me to have a simple cake cutting?

Show quote history

I think it's weird to have a party (that you'll probably video) to celebrate the fact your child has a vagina or penis. Just weird and American. Why not find out and be excited in a private moment? Then tell your family later. I'm not miserable. Women my age (20s) don't really do the 'gender' reveal parties. I just don't see the point.

Original poster
AHBM2020 · 22/12/2024 08:17

Namesy · 22/12/2024 07:58

The 20 week test is to check that baby is developing normally. I was told my baby's sex at the end because she's obviously a girl. The sonographer still said there's a chance of a mistake as boys can hide their bits. I have a girl. I think 'gender reveals' are really stupid. Just find out the sex and let your family know. No need for confetti and coloured cake.

Edited

I don't like being videoed, I'm 21 years old, and born British, in Britain 😂 it's a cute celebration, that doesn't harm anybody but bring people together for a day of happiness and fun. I hope you find some joy in your life too, and learn to not be so stuck up :)

OP posts:
LottieMary · 22/12/2024 08:31

Largely depends on your risk factors and location - local hospitals to us routinely don't say because of potentially abusive response from extended family.

gamerchick · 22/12/2024 08:41

The NHS have never offered finding out the sex. It's always you might get lucky at the anomaly scan. I can't see them writing it down though, people are weird about suing.

You'll have to pay for a private one to find out the sex.

ISeeCheekyFuckers · 22/12/2024 08:46

AHBM2020 · 22/12/2024 08:08

I think as long as it's healthy, doesn't hurt anybody, mothers should be able to celebrate however they want 🤷🏻‍♀️ you sound a bit miserable. What's wrong with meeting your whole family, and cutting a cake together to then share it in happiness? There's people out there hurting wildlife with those smoke bombs, but it's bad for me to have a simple cake cutting?

Show quote history

The question is why is it relevant?

There’s plenty of evidence that baby girls and boys are treated differently depending on their sex, and that starts before they are born when the sex is known. Gender stereotypes are harmful to both sexes. Thats not the reason the NHS won’t tell you (they’re avoiding being sued if they get it wrong) but think about why it is you want to know and what difference it makes.

(In my case I needed to know as any male child I carried was unlikely to live more than a few hours after birth due to a genetic abnormality that runs in my family.)

A gender reveal starts the whole pink/blue thing off. You can still have a baby shower if you must with all the cake you can have eat regardless.

DarkAndTwisties · 22/12/2024 08:50

I just thought the NHS would ensure a gender scan at some point in your pregnancy

But why would they? The NHS doesn't have available appointments kicking about to give to women who haven't been able to be told the sex at the 20 week scan. I had two 20 week scans with DD1 because her position meant they couldn't properly get the measurements they needed. That was a second appointment for a medical need, but finding out the sex is not.

But I do think not finding out the sex at the 20 week scan is quite unusual. You'd be unlucky if they couldn't tell. I think it's more likely they won't write it down though.

Autumn38 · 22/12/2024 08:50

AHBM2020 · 21/12/2024 21:18

Yeah I knew you wouldn't get gender blood testing unless a test was necessary; I just thought the NHS would ensure a gender scan at some point in your pregnancy. It's a bit disappointing to hear they won't! But I'll have a look at a few private places around me when the time is closer

Show quote history

The point of the scan is to check baby is ok. If they can see their genitals they will probably be happy to tell you and I know they sometimes tell you to come back if they can’t initially see (as in go for a walk, have a drink and come back in half an hour) but if they can’t see, that’s it. They won’t book another scan to specially tell you the sex.

If they can’t see at your 20 week scan you’d be able to book a private gender scan that week- and they WILL keep going until they can tell you, as that’s what you’ve paid them for.

ISeeCheekyFuckers · 22/12/2024 08:51

OP, kindly, you’re 5 weeks pregnant. It’s going to be a very long pregnancy if you’re getting this excited before the pregnancy is even visible on a scan.

IDontLoveTheWayYouLie · 22/12/2024 08:51

Most people I know have been told at the 20 week scan but the NHS wouldn't book in for everyone expecting to have a scan to see if you're having a boy or girl, it would be a waste of a lot of money.

Original poster
AHBM2020 · 22/12/2024 08:53

ISeeCheekyFuckers · 22/12/2024 08:51

OP, kindly, you’re 5 weeks pregnant. It’s going to be a very long pregnancy if you’re getting this excited before the pregnancy is even visible on a scan.

What's wrong with being excited? Bit negative. I know the risks of a miscarriage, but I'm still allowed to be excited about having a baby. It's worrying how many judgeful people are on this app but a lot of mothers can be. Everybody is allowed to react however they want, me asking some other mothers questions is okay. I've done nothing wrong. Jesus I've put up a post asking about gender reveals, I've not made a shrine for the baby 🙄

OP posts:
Overthebow · 22/12/2024 08:56

Of course the NHS doesn’t offer gender scans, it’s stretched for funding as it is and finding out the sex really isn’t a priority. The 20 week scan is the anomaly scan to make sure baby is developing healthily. Many sonographers with tell you the sex at the scan if they can see it clearly but it isn’t the main focus and if it isn’t easy to see they won’t spend time trying to get it. Lots won’t write it down as it won’t be a confirmed thing.

brummumma · 22/12/2024 08:58

You can usually have a good "guess" at the 12 week scan - there are websites you can send a scan photo to who can do nub theory etc. my boy twin was very clearly a boy at 12 weeks 😂 then 20 weeks tend to be more "accurate" but again I've heard of them getting that wrong too! I had to do the NIPT privately due to health concerns and was given twins results then but you will always be relying on one persons interpretation of an ultrasound otherwise

OldTinHat · 22/12/2024 09:01

Why is it called a 'gender reveal'? It's a sex identification? And you can ask at your 20wk scan if you want to know.

5wk is a bit premature for getting excited btw. Not meaning to sound horrible, just experience speaking.

gamerchick · 22/12/2024 09:02

AHBM2020 · 22/12/2024 08:53

What's wrong with being excited? Bit negative. I know the risks of a miscarriage, but I'm still allowed to be excited about having a baby. It's worrying how many judgeful people are on this app but a lot of mothers can be. Everybody is allowed to react however they want, me asking some other mothers questions is okay. I've done nothing wrong. Jesus I've put up a post asking about gender reveals, I've not made a shrine for the baby 🙄

Show quote history

Absolutely nothing wrong with being excited. Mentioning gender reveals brings out the hackles on here.

Tbh there's no need for this much heat, it's obviously your first pregnancy and there will be a lot you're a bit naive about. How are we supposed to find out stuff without asking questions?

Attictroll · 22/12/2024 09:03

Being excited is wonderful- congratulations. I find the whole reveal thing tacky but also I think having seen a few too many issues with pregnancy and find celebration before baby is safely here gives me the shivers.
May your youth and years of optimism last, not having see friends suffer still births etc,

Celebrate if you want to. The nhs shouldn't prioritise telling you but wait and see if they offer! Many do, We asked not to know after years of infertility I didn't want to know from a stranger I wanted DH to be the one who told me not a sonographer.

There are very few surprises left in life.

GetDressedYouMerryGentlemen · 22/12/2024 09:04

I just thought the NHS would ensure a gender scan at some point in your pregnancy.

NHS

National HEALTH Service.

How does the sex (not gender) of your baby impact health? Other than in rare cases where there are genetic diseases in a family the sex of the baby has no bearing on it's health or that of the mother so it has no importance to a health service for the vast majority of pregnancies. NHS scans are provided to check for medical issues not to help you decide is you should by cake of a particular colour.

pinkpantherxxx · 22/12/2024 09:06

It is true it depends on the position your baby's in too at the time luckily at my 20 week scan the nurse was able to see that my baby was a boy although I was doing a gender reveal party with the balloon and confetti I asked the nurse could she not tell us I had my partner in the room with me I asked her could she write it down and she said there not allowed to do it I'm not sure if she was just being funny or if the hospital had strict rules but it ruined it for us she did give the option for one of us to step out the room and only one of us would know the gender but we just chose to both find out and let it be a surprise for our guests instead