Gender test

[AHBM2020]

Hi, I just read on NHS website that "Finding out the sex of your baby is not offered as part of the national screening programme." And that you MAY be able to find out the gender at 20 weeks by requesting it, but could be told no. Is this true? I wanted to potentially get my baby's gender written down so I could do a cake gender reveal with my close family. I don't want to spend £100 on private incase I get told the baby is in a bad position so they can't tell me

They will tell you the sex they think it is at the NHS 20 week scan (or most will).

My first was 100% boy, however this time she was less certain - but she did still tell me what she thought it was (but gave a much lower percentage of certainty and said keep receipts!).

They will definitely not write it down for you though, they will only tell you out loud - if you want it to be a surprise for you to, you should do a private scan. We did private with our first and NHS confirmed the findings. We didn't bother second time round!

Seems odd that as the mother of the baby you don't want to know the sex first. Can't get my head around these gender reveals where someone else finds out the sex first.

Surely you know that these days it’s the baby’s choice to reveal its gender when it decides which it wants to be? Or not to have one at all…

Our NHS board policy is not to give sex. There are posters up saying not to ask and they definitely won't tell you (I missed the posters and did ask and was told very clearly they didn't offer that! Which was fair enough). Various reasons I believe: if it's wrong, people get angry, cultural reasons to do with favoured sex resulting in harm to baby/mother, that sort of thing.

Your scan is to check the development of your baby, not what sex it is.

Women my age (20s) don't really do the 'gender' reveal parties

I'd say around 75% of moms I've known in my 20s have had some form of gender reveal whether that's cutting the cake, doing a canon/balloon etc

You absolutely can be excited - ignore the comments here. We found out the sex at 16 weeks at a private scan - was around £70 at the time and it was lovely finding out at that stage I'd deffo recommend we went to peekababy but window to the womb is also very popular

At the 20 week scan there are a lot of measurements to take to check that the baby is developing normally. In most scans the ultrasound technician will be able to see in passing whether or not a willy is there. If they are pressed for time and the baby's position doesn't make this information obvious as they look for the specific bones they need to measure they are not going to spend any extra time looking and I doubt they would write it down secretly for you in any case. For us it was just an "oh there's a little willy" mentioned in passing as the presence and size of other organs was being checked. If it's that important to you then pay for a private scan as part of the budget for your party.

You're not going to be able to find out privately for less than the £89 blood test. If you have a relative who is planning on getting you a baby shower gift or similar, could you ask them to gift you the cost of this private test instead?

You will most likely be able to know at the 20 week scan. I don't think you'll get them to write it down in case they are wrong. Could they tell your partner but not you?

And all this nonsense about "it's sex not gender" is a load of rubbish as sex and gender were completely synonymous up to about 10 years ago. So ignore that rubbish. It's a gender reveal because gender and sex have always been two words for the same thing until very recently people redefined one word to sneak lots of other rubbish under the radar.