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Original poster

AIBU Sonographer

52 replies

Mumofoneandanotherontheway · 30/11/2020 20:46

I had a scan last week I was 19 weeks, baby was not in a good position so called me back today (I’m 20weeks now) to do a rescan.
For this scan I was allowed to take my partner, last week he wasn’t allowed to attend.
2 sonographers didn’t manage to do all the measurements today and told me to have a walk and come back in 10minutes. When I returned it was a completely different sonographer.
When she called for me she asked my husband to wait outside, to which I questioned WHY?! She said because he went to my scan last week! I said no he didn’t, he wasn’t allowed. She said well he was there just now when the other sonographers checked, I said we didn’t even see the baby yet & neither has he.
In a very rude sounding way she said ‘go on then call him in’ rolling her eyes!
I then said to her when your done with all measurements if we can get a picture please... right so this also wasn’t allowed! She turned around and said u had one last week! I said no I didn’t (which I genuinely didn’t as baby had back on show and sonographer told me get a picture next week hence why I asked) she said well this is just a re scan and we don’t give pictures, I said I’m 20 weeks I’ve not had 1 picture yet (wtf I was fuming, but didn’t show this)
She then at the end took a picture and then charged me £5.
Not about the money but just think she was being extremely unreasonable!
What do you guys think AIBU?
Sorry for the long post xx

OP posts:
Findahouse21 · 30/11/2020 20:49

YABU and massively so. It's a medical appointment not a photo shoot

Scarydinosaurs · 30/11/2020 20:51

She doesn’t sound like she was dripping with charm- but it’s a medical appointment.

Sonography can be really difficult and having to be there when people are told their pregnancy has ended/there are problems must be incredibly stressful. Photos etc aren’t an entitlement- I really do think it’s what private scans are for.

So, I can see why you’re upset, but it really isn’t a big deal.

PotteringAlong · 30/11/2020 20:52

They charge everyone for photos. The NHS doesn’t give them out for free.

TildaTurnip · 30/11/2020 20:53

YANBU. It is a medical appointment (not sure why this has been pointed out to you so rudely) but you were told your husband could be there, as is allowed, and you could have a photo as others do without the attitude the sonographer gave.

Idbemonica1 · 30/11/2020 20:56

Yanbu she could have been nicer

Oreservoir · 30/11/2020 20:59

Well she sounds like a delight!
I'm sorry you had this experience.
She was certainly not being very understanding of your circumstances.

MiniMum97 · 30/11/2020 21:00

@Findahouse21

YABU and massively so. It's a medical appointment not a photo shoot
What a ridiculous comment. Were you the sonographer?

It being a medical appointment does not excuse the sonographer from being rude and unnecessarily difficult. And it is standard to be given (at a cost) a scan picture at a scan appt.

Original poster
Mumofoneandanotherontheway · 30/11/2020 21:25

Findahouse21 Your comment is quiet ridiculous tbh! I no it’s not a photo shoot but I think every parent to be would like a photo especially when I’ve got a little one at home who has been waiting for weeks to see his baby sibling.
I didn’t disturb her during taking measurements etc! But her telling me my partner can’t come in when he’s taken a few hours off for the appointment especially when they themselves said to bring my partner as this is the only scan he would be allowed in!
Im glad others that have replied aren’t as cold as you & are understanding!

OP posts:
Balajake · 30/11/2020 22:32

I had a very rude sonographer once her once she told me off for trying to pull the window blind down abit because I didn’t want passers by to see me undressed. Then she was short with me and pressing hard on my stomach. It ruined my 12 week scan because she was quite mean but I told the reception staff I wouldn’t ever let her scan me again and from then I only had nice experiences.

Just because it’s a medical appointment doesn’t mean someone can be nasty to you. It’s a special moment

Original poster
Mumofoneandanotherontheway · 01/12/2020 06:16

Balajoke sorry to hear you have experienced this too! I really don’t know who they think they are...! They are doing a job which they need to do properly without all the attitude!
It makes it a very sad experience! Glad you complained and didn’t have to deal with her again!! I will be doing the same myself today, also will be making it clear I don’t want her for my scans either! X

OP posts:
Balajake · 01/12/2020 06:54

I had a lot of scans (every three weeks) and had it in my notes that I didn’t want her again and I always mentioned to check my notes when I turned up. Remember that you have a choice who you see, this is your baby and nobody should be allowed to make you feel sad during what should be a happy time. You’re in control and you have a say and don’t let anyone bully you

JacobReesMogadishu · 01/12/2020 07:02

Sounds like a misunderstanding. The hospital will have rules at the minute about which scans partners can attend and which they can’t. They’re trying to protect their staff and future pregnant women by limiting the number of people they’re exposed to.

She let him come in after you explained he hadn’t been in. Maybe she was rude, maybe you’re being sensitive. She didn’t actually say anything rude and tone of voice is very much about perception.

All seems a load of drama over nothing.

JacobReesMogadishu · 01/12/2020 07:05

Oh I see you’re complaining, that’s just what’s needed when the nhs is currently on its knees with staff sickness and staff risking their lives on a daily basis. Go you.

If it was about something serious by all means complain. But seriously what do you think will happen. You’ll say she rolled her eyes and had a poor tone of voice and charged you for photos. The sonographer (if they even bother telling her about the complaint) will say she never rolled her eyes and was polite. Any manager who is tasked with dealing with your complaint will be rolling their eyes far more than the somographer was.

ivfbeenbusy · 01/12/2020 07:22

I said we didn’t even see the baby yet & neither has he.

Your post is confusing - you said you had 2 sonographers attempt to get the measurements and then you were sent for a walk.....so you would have seen the baby already.....

When she called for me she asked my husband to wait

Well he'd been inside for the 2 previous attempts? Maybe they didn't want the distraction for the 3rd attempt

I then said to her when your done with all measurements if we can get a picture please..

Agree it's a medical appointment not a photo shoot - one that's already taken up 2 weeks of appointments and the time of 4 sonographers. She is correct that in re scans they don't tend to give photos. They are there to do measurements not get the perfect instrammable shot

I’m 20 weeks I’ve not had 1 picture yet

Most people get one at the 12 week scan what happened at that one??

Sorry but you do sound like you are throwing your toys out of the pram a bit. You're lucky you're partner was even allowed in once.

JacobReesMogadishu · 01/12/2020 07:27

They may well have had the screen turned round initially so I can believe they hadn’t yet seen the baby. This sonographer didn’t know that though and when it was explained she said go and get him. 🤷‍♀️

littleharissa · 01/12/2020 07:31

Your post is confusing - you said you had 2 sonographers attempt to get the measurements and then you were sent for a walk.....so you would have seen the baby already.....

Not true. The screen was likely facing the other way.

OP, YANBU

Apandemicyousay · 01/12/2020 07:43

She sounds rude, am not a sonography but also I find it stressful doing a clinic at moment when people bring extra relatives. We can’t distance easily in clinic rooms and are at risk personally but also spreading it onwards and to double the visitors increase the risk. She has no idea how you/he are following the rules, and if she’s got to scan you is not 2m away etc. Also, i find it sad that some people who could do with some support turn up alone, whilst people with quite minor issues (that clearly worry them) turn up with partner who just tries to saunter in. I now bring them in, tell partner that we’re not dealing with cancer or anything serious and then ask partner to leave whilst i go through details with the patient.

ivfbeenbusy · 01/12/2020 07:47

Every scan I've ever had - and I have loads - weekly sometimes and at different hospitals - the screen is on the wall opposite or next to you. Never once have they been turned the other way.....

Backbee · 01/12/2020 07:49

They usually charge (possibly always) for scan pictures, it sounds like she was quite rude but it's stressful at the moment. It is a medical scan, you can always book a private one if you both want a better view and some souvenirs.

Possums4evr · 01/12/2020 07:55

To be honest if a sonographer was struggling to see my baby properly on a scan I would have other worries in my mind than getting a picture, I would assume something was wrong.
I'm really glad it wasn't and the sonographer was lacking in a good manner but you are being a bit unreasonable.

Original poster
Mumofoneandanotherontheway · 01/12/2020 08:46

JacobReesMogadishu you didn’t hear her tone of voice filled with so much attitude. She’s scanned for a few minutes before saying we will call you back in 3weeks because my hands hurting now!
She couldn’t wait for us to get out!
Rules are rules but we have been informed by the hospital he can attend so why shouldn’t he be there! I was under the impression no partners are allowed in at all tbh, so lucky he was able to attend. However not to sit outside the room! I will be making a complaint, Nhs staff should no how to treat there patients! She clearly needs teaching in that department!

OP posts:
JacobReesMogadishu · 01/12/2020 08:58

No I didn't. And the person who deals with your complaint won't have done either so unlikely they'll take a blind bit of notice.

You sound like you think she should have carried on scanning even though she was in pain? You do know rsi is a real issue for sonographers. If she's having to press harder than normal either because a baby is in an awkward position or because the woman is larger then it's right that she stops.

Backbee · 01/12/2020 09:02

If she was called in following someone else trying, she was probably squeezing you in inbetween other women, there isn't an infinite amount of resource and it's unlikely they would have several sonographers earmarked for your appointment just in case they couldn't get the measurements. Yes she should have spoken to you respectfully, and yes the NHS should provide a decent service and we should not be grateful for it's existence and accept poor care; but the fact you would make a formal complaint about it is sad. She probably had another appointment to get to, or as someone else had also tried and been unsuccessful, didn't see the need to keep trying whilst causing pain to her wrist (which is her money maker really) to no doubt come to the same conclusion that they couldn't get the measurements.

YorkshireIndie · 01/12/2020 09:05

I would be hesitant to make a complaint. You could ring up discuss your concerns about your appointment. Most hospitals charge for scan photos. I can not remember how much I paid - I think it was £5 per photo

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 01/12/2020 09:09

She let him in, and she gave you a picture, she was clearly not in the best mood, but you got everything you wanted, and your baby is healthy, really what do you have to complain about?