Nuchal measurement 4mm

[Daleyrb]

Hi, i an new on here i am currently 13 weeks this is baby number 3 im just 37.
So back story had some spotting/ light bleeding at 6 weeks emergency scan at 7 weeks was told i had a subchorionic heamotoma baby's heartbeat was seen. Bleeding stopped at 9 weeks! Yay! Then the wait for the scan which was last week my hurt sunk as the sonographer said i have a higher nuchal measurement 4mm 😰.
My hcg was 1.5 my papp a was 0.8 and of course my age is against me so i was told 11.1% chance of downs, 1 in 9 so high risk. I have had a CVS today do i now have the agonising wait. Just wondered ladies out comes with similar results? Thank you

@Daleyrb thinking about you today. Hope it went okay and you're getting lots of rest. xxx

I'm still waiting 😪 ive had the tablets under the tongue to soften the cervix about an 1.5 hour ago i have been crying and feel awful xx

Hello everyone, I'm just out of recovery had my tea and toast. Have to hang around as i lost a litre of blood which i a bit crap. I'm going to find out what sex little 1 was and name them so i can let them rest at peace and know that i loved them very much. Still a part of me. Always will be.
I want to thank everyone who has given support and i hope this helps someone else. Xxx

Sad day OP. I admire your dignity. Much love to you and LO who will always be a part of your lives

Be gentle with yourself. X

I don't really know what to say but couldn't not say anything...please look after yourself, be gentle and take time. Thinking of you and your little one xx

Just want to say I’m thinking of you IP and I’m so so so sorry. Had a TFMR at OJ Utd over 14 weeks and it was the hardest thing I’ve done. Try and stay strong and take a break. You will find the strength to try again and you will never forget your little one x

OP and just over 14 weeks *

Hi don't if anyone is still reading this?
I am a week on after the TFMR and I'm not going to lie i have struggled, got so sad.
Now i am in this limbo type of emotion where i want to be pregnant again, when do i start trying? I still have light blood loss so i guess when that stops.
I keep doubting my decision. Such a horrible feeling xx

Hi, I cant imagine what your going through but I can bet it is really tough, I think I've read people have tried after their first period but then I've had friends get pregnant 4 weeks after giving birth so is possible, just try and look after yourself and put yourself first before everyone else xx

Hi, I cant imagine what your going through but I can bet it is really tough, I think I've read people have tried after their first period but then I've had friends get pregnant 4 weeks after giving birth so is possible, just try and look after yourself and put yourself first before everyone else xx

I think is what I'm worried about is my age I'm 37 and as i get older it gets harder. I fell pregnant really quickly with my angel baby after having my coil out almost thinking now perhaps i rushed in and hadnt got myself on track. Does anyone know about taking extra folic acid when trying when your older? Thank you for responding xxx

I'm the same just turned 38, you can start taking folic acid while trying, I didn't start taking mine until 10 weeks, I wish I started mine earlier x

Please please be kind to yourself OP. I’m 38 and very aware of my biological clock so I do understand the pressure but you have gone through a very traumatic ordeal and need to be gentle with yourself.
I think it depends on your personality really. Some people would do better the hunker down and let their bodies recover slowly. Some (and I’m like this) feel the need to DO SOMETHING and would need to crack on with trying again ASAP.
There’s no evidence that taking additional folic acid provides any benefits, it can’t get absorbed and your basically making expensive wee! Why not start taking it now and have a month of self care before trying again. Focus on doing something just for you each day, anything like painting your toenails, reading a book you love, gentle yoga etc. Then next month keep that up and start trying? X

Its true. My partner is 12 years younger than me and has just shut off a bit. I feel angry and hormonal and something has been taken away which has! Its all going to take time i guess.
Thank you for listening 🙏 ❤

No wonder you feel angry. It’s utterly shit! And totally unfair. You did everything thing you could and it didn’t work out. Angry is perfectly reasonable. Sometimes life gives you a big kick in the fanny!
Don’t ignore or downplay your emotions. You feel how you feel. You’re entitled to feel angry and sad or cheated or sulk or tearful. Loss and grief are the price of love. This is how you know you loved your family because you’re going through this awfulness and it’s shit. Give yourself and break and allow yourself to feel how you feel. Get some boxing gloves and hit something, scream into a pillow or just sit in the dark and cry. It’s up to you but it’s not going to do any good to tell yourself you shouldn’t feel angry or cheated. You’ve had a shitty time already, don’t make it worse by being mean to yourself- just think you wouldn’t tolerate a friend being like that! X

Thank you its true, i am terribly hard on myself. Always have been. 1 moment at a time...and breathe xxx

Hello @Daleyrb I am so so so sorry you have gone through what you went through. I know the pain you are experiencing right now puts you in a severe dark place and your senses are all in confusion and you feel like you have no direction at all.
My first pregnancy (and child) ended in a TFMR this February. I too am 37 and bordering on to 38. I have been in a state of depression since but now I feel so much better since really taking a couple of months break to let my body recover. I didn’t have my period until 8 weeks after my TFMR and did try ever since but no luck. So I coordinated a plan to go straight to IVF which I will start this autumn. This allows me to put more control back into my life then second guessing if I can miraculously get pregnant again this month.

I know it’s not easy but know you are very lucky you have two children. I’m still waiting for mine but this doesn’t necessarily mean my pain is greater then yours. It just means that everyone’s journey to fertility is different and how you deal and manage it makes you a stronger person then you are today. I don’t ever regret my decision but I know a part of us will always think ‘what if’. More importantly think about your next steps and whether it will be mentall positive for you. You’d be surprised how much you would need to rest (against your better judgement). A couple of months will not make a difference in success rates but your sanity and positivity will. 37 is still young.

Stay strong and if you ever need to talk - message me I am happy to support. Also know the ARC forum is phenomenal.

Xx 🌈

@Daleyrb Hi, haven't been on mumsnet for a while but just popped in to see how you were getting on. I'm sorry it's been tough, we're all thinking of you and wishing you the best xxx

Oh my gosh, i don't even know what to say or where to start.
My way is drinking way too much wine and you ladies have helped me so much i don't even know what to say, thank you. Can i speak to you in about 20. Please bare me xxx

@Daleyrb I've been thinking of you. Hope you're starting to mend. I've had bad news with my pregnancy too. I'd breathed a sigh of relief when the NIPT came back clear, but then a couple of days ago I had some spotting. When I went to hospital they found the baby wasn't alive any more and from measurements must have died not long after the scan I had at 12 weeks, and I was actually almost 16 weeks along. I'd been happily telling people the news for weeks without knowing I'd lost my little baby. I wanted to share my story here in the hopes it might help you grieve too, you've done the right thing for you and your family and it could have ended up the same naturally. I'm due to have a surgically managed miscarriage tomorrow.

Oh my gosh i am so sorry.
Just burst into tears.
Please feel a virtual hug.
I am trying to go on each day 1 at a time, ive been drinking and smoking which is just so stupid. My partner wants me to go to the doctor i dont want to as I'm very aware of what they will do for me been down that road a few times.
My heart aches 💔 😞 for you. Then having to tell people just makes it harder and nauseating.
Please reach out if you need some support i am also here if i can help in anyway xxx

@Daleyrb thanks for the virtual hug. Also had a little sob when I read your message.
One day at a time is the right way to go. I'm finding it hard not to jump ahead and think way into the future, but I'm also trying to just keep putting one foot in front of the other.
I know it's hard but try to find other ways to cope instead of drinking and smoking. I've had clinical depression for years and my life really turned around when I started managing crisis with counselling and medication instead of cigarettes and alcohol. NHS can be a bit crap with depression, I hate how they do the checkbox thing and they never remember every other time I've spoken to them. But there are other resources - I've found the charity Mind very helpful in the past, and had an excellent counselor with them who helped me get through a particularly dark time some years ago. I was also very lucky more recently to have access to a private psychiatrist using the health insurance I have through work, but I know that's not an option for most people.
Even though GPs are a bit naff they can get you antidepressants which for sure are healthier and more effective than alcohol and cigarettes.
Anyway, thanks again for the sympathy, it helps knowing other people going through similar. Sending you hugs back. xxx

Please hear this 🙏 what an inspiration in such a dark time.
My whole life there has always been challenges some not great times and i carry the weight of it a lot.
Please know i feel you. 1 moment at a time 1 minute at a time. It is also very hard with this pandemic going on just feel slightly trapped. Ive joined the national trust in hope to get some healing from nature, i love animals and outside spaces.
Maybe i will speak to the doctor and totally agree about the tick boxes they are so single statement and odd. Likely, very likely. I know they are doing their best.
Sorry i am rambling now. Xxx