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Original poster

Nuchal measurement 4mm

74 replies

Daleyrb · 13/07/2020 20:40

Hi, i an new on here i am currently 13 weeks this is baby number 3 im just 37.
So back story had some spotting/ light bleeding at 6 weeks emergency scan at 7 weeks was told i had a subchorionic heamotoma baby's heartbeat was seen. Bleeding stopped at 9 weeks! Yay! Then the wait for the scan which was last week my hurt sunk as the sonographer said i have a higher nuchal measurement 4mm 😰.
My hcg was 1.5 my papp a was 0.8 and of course my age is against me so i was told 11.1% chance of downs, 1 in 9 so high risk. I have had a CVS today do i now have the agonising wait. Just wondered ladies out comes with similar results? Thank you

OP posts:
Onekidnoclue · 16/07/2020 18:26

This is shitty OP. Thinking positive thoughts for you. Hope you get good news soon. X

Original poster
Daleyrb · 17/07/2020 09:15

So i had the dreadful phone call at 08.15 this morning. The baby is confirmed Downs i am absolutely devastated.
I have to go in today to see if they can fit me in for a TFMR over the weekend as Exeter don't offer them after 14 weeks.
I am so devastated. I hope in my heart i am doing the right thing. I know lovely people raise beautiful children with extra needs but i couldn't cope if i had to think about leaving them when i die as he/she may need me more.
I can find out the sex but was warned maybe not too as it may make it harder.
I'd like to thank you all for being there over those agonising days. And i honestly thought it was all going to be okay. Devastated. Xxx

OP posts:
Missy38 · 17/07/2020 09:47

Aw I'm so sorry for what your going through, life is so shitty sometimes xx

nchristie · 17/07/2020 09:58

I'm so sorry it was bad news for you. Really feel for you having to make such a difficult decision. I hope it all goes smoothly and will be thinking about you. xxx

itshappened · 17/07/2020 10:03

I'm so very sorry to hear this. I was 17 weeks so I understand how difficult it can be at this stage.

This decision is an entirely personal one, and for many reasons we have never been able to be candid with friends and family about what happened. I always say I lost my baby. If you can be open and honest I think it will be a much better approach as I felt quite bitter afterwards that I couldn't get the appropriate support or talk about what we really went through and how I was feeling about making that decision. Also if I'm honest, I often wish we had found out the sex of the baby; as although I don't regret the decision, the baby had been so wanted and I felt extremely low and empty for a long time afterwards, and really wished I could have referred to them as my lost little boy or girl. But at the time we didn't want to bond further with the baby so decided we didn't want to know. Just do what feels right for you.

Anyway I am sorry you find yourself in this situation. Be kind to yourself and please do speak to Arc charity. They were amazing for me and let me cry and ask all my questions and supported me as much as they could.

Somethingsnappy · 17/07/2020 10:27

OP, I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I had been thinking about you last night and this morning waiting for your news. You must make the decision that is right for you. These things seem very random and from what I've read, have no implications for future pregnancies. Please find support as a PP said. There is also an ongoing support thread in this section for people in similar situations. It may help you to read that and perhaps join it too. And of course, please know you can keep posting here if you'd like to. Xx

LST · 17/07/2020 10:37

I am so so sorry OP. I am devastated for you. Any decision you make is the correct one. Thinking of you xxx

Oldbutkicking · 17/07/2020 10:43

Just so very sorry. Can you be told the sex at a later date if you then decide that you want to know?

Original poster
Daleyrb · 17/07/2020 10:54

Thank you so much for thinking 9f me and i would love to speak to people in a similar situation. I literally am blaming myself as i know age is a big factor.
I would love to try again as frightening as it is. I think you can have a blood test early on as well.
I will keep this thread going in case it helps someone. Thank you again. 🥰😪💗

OP posts:
nchristie · 17/07/2020 11:23

Don't blame yourself, you can't change your age. The odds are still against Down's at our age and sadly you were unlucky. You should definitely try again if that's what you want, and I think you're right that you can get NIPT earlier in pregnancy privately (this is what I plan to do if I have another) xxx

Original poster
Daleyrb · 17/07/2020 11:38

Ive said and we've discussed another try, if it happens again i wouldn't try again.
Yes NIPT all the way! Xxx

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Onekidnoclue · 17/07/2020 16:09

I’m so sorry OP. This must be such a hard time. Please try to be kind to yourself. There is nothing you have done except for love that baby. You’re making a truly heartbreaking decision to do the best by your family and I totally respect that. When you look back on this please tell yourself that you did this FOR YOUR FAMILY. X

Original poster
Daleyrb · 17/07/2020 18:38

I cannot thank you all enough for your words of support it means so much at this time. ❤
I am booked in luckily at 10am at my local hospital, i say luckily as they usually only deal with emergencies over weekends. So if they couldn't of got me in it would of been Bristol or London! Or go through a miscarriage which i just couldn't cope with. I feel so many mixed emotions, keep imagining a little laughing Downs baby 😭. Ive lost so many people in my life its reopened a scar im to familiar with.
Honeslty you lovely people i can tell what your like to wach out and support a stranger be proud of that. Sending respect and love xxx

OP posts:
LeonieMacaroni · 17/07/2020 20:25

So sorry to hear the devastating news OP. I started reading the thread really hoping for positive news for you. Hope the rest of the journey goes as smoothly as possible for youThanks

Original poster
Daleyrb · 17/07/2020 21:45

Thank you 💖

OP posts:
Conorgog · 17/07/2020 21:55

I’m so sorry, I’m around the same age and was in exactly your shoes this time last year.

  • I’m now also due again any day now - my due date is the same date as my TFMR was.

It’s not easy, but you can get through it.
If you have any questions around the process please do ask, sending a big hand hold. 💐

Original poster
Daleyrb · 18/07/2020 07:26

Hi Conorgog, congratulations! I'm going in this morning but it could be a long wait due to emergencies. Im also going alone as dont have parents so my partner is staying with my youngest.
It is such a horrible thing going out of the house pregnant and back in not, i am so sad 😞.
How did you feel after? Is it a bit of an emotional rollercoaster due to hormones? I am still bf my 2 year old so hope that will help me.
I would like to try again how soon after did you try may i ask? This day can just hurry up and go away.

OP posts:
TimeWastingButFun · 18/07/2020 07:30

My first when I was almost 37 showed a higher measurement. I can't remember the number but I was warned there was a high risk of some birth defects, he was absolutely fine, now 12 and shouting at the Xbox as we speak. It's very common, hope it all goes well for you.

TimeWastingButFun · 18/07/2020 07:32

I'm so sorry, I didn't read the other replies. Heartbreaking for you Thanks

Conorgog · 18/07/2020 09:27

Ah, I was in exactly the same situation, I went in alone - and have an older DC who was - at the time a similar age too.

I found the hospital really good, I’ve heard cases like ours are usually put first on the lists so hopefully you are being seen around now!

I felt okay afterwards, I was pretty unemotional about it (just my coping mechanism) and just wanted it over and done with, a few hiccups a couple of days down the track but I knew it was the right decision for our family so Ive held myself onto that.

Re trying again we tried pretty much straight after I got my first period, - about 6 weeks after the procedure. I got pregnant I think second cycle, then miscarried at about 6/7/8 weeks. Then randomly - were not trying! got pregnant after that all passed - which is where I am today at 40 weeks.

Hope this helps, thinking of you xx

Original poster
Daleyrb · 18/07/2020 10:01

I like your style of coping, I'm very up and down.
I just had one of those dreadful covid tests. So now a waiting game.
I want to try 1 last time so will let my body do its thing then go with the flow, literally! I hope baby makes an appearance for you soon the end bit seems never ending but i will never take it for granted again. Thank you for your replies too xx

OP posts:
Original poster
Daleyrb · 18/07/2020 10:15

This sounds really odd but i don't want o take the poor soul home to bury do i? Will i regret not seeing? Xx

OP posts:
Conorgog · 18/07/2020 10:28

From what I know, I don’t think you will want to take home the remains after having the surgical, the midwives should have spoken to you about it but it will be/should be on the consent form I believe. Or just ask a nurse, they are all very sensitive (well I found them to be so anyway).

Big squeeze.

Missy38 · 18/07/2020 10:45

Thinking of you today ❤️❤️

Original poster
Daleyrb · 18/07/2020 10:58

Yeah i don't know if the poor soul comes out whole. I hope they die quickly and it doesn't know. I feel dreadful 😞 xxx

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