I’ve not written a thread before but I’m really hoping for responses from people whi have gone theough what I’m going though; for peace of mind that I’m not alone, if anything.
I’m 29 years old and last November (2017) I had a medical termination due to spina biffida at the back of the skull / top of spine, causing the brain to really form abnormally. It was horrific. I had taken 5mg folic acid for the first 3 months of the pregnancy as I’m over the desired weight of pregnant mums.
We started trying again in December and fell pregnant mid January 2018.
This pregnancy seemed to go really well- no PGP (which kicked in at 17 weeks last time!). I felt baby move from 16 weeks and by the 20 week scan (at 19 weeks 5 days) I looked extremely pregnant and could feel so many movements which we were so excited about.
At the scan the sonographer said it was difficult to measure baby as he was moving so much. So we went for a walk and when we returned there were two sonographers mumbling at the screen for what felt like an eternity. They finished and we then heard the dreaded words ‘we’re nit happy with a couple of things, including baby’s head’. I was inconsolable, these were the exact words we heard pst time. Then, in walked our consultant from the last pregnancy and it was like a shot to the heart.
He looked at the screen and took us into the same dreaded room and delivered the bad news to us. The left brain ventricle was severely enlarged and the right ventricle, slightly less so; and one kidney looked completely abnormal too. He explained that we could continue but the likelihood of the baby having severe learning difficulties was very very high. I feel so guilty for deciding to go ahead with the termination but I don’t want to knowingly bring a baby into the world if their lives will be limited so much.
I’ll be taking the first tablets tomorrow (may 29) at 11am and will probably be sent to hospital on Thursday to begin the process.
We’re heartbroken and totally numb that this has happened a second time and is totally ‘unreleated and just random’ according to the consultant.
We didn’t have thhe last baby checked for genetic defects as it was obvious that it was soina biffida, but we’ll donit with our baby boy. My husband and I will also ask for testing.
Has anyone been through medical termination twice? We don’t have any other children and we want one so badly, it hurts.
Any support would be welcomed right now as I’m totally lost
Thank
Bec xxx