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Antenatal tests

Get updates on how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy by signing up to the Mumsnet Pregnancy Newsletters.

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Original poster

Cystic hygroma

53 replies

BeyondHope · 18/12/2017 18:25

Today we had our screening scan at 13+4 and were told that our baby has a large (5.3mm) amount of fluid stretching from the base of his head to pretty much his tailbone. I can't make sense of it. After 5 miscarriages I stupidly thought I was out of the woods. The sonographer told us that as the fluid runs further than just the neck fold it's more likely to not have Down's syndrome but another anomoly such as Turners, Edwards etc.

I am booked in to have a CVS tomorrow afternoon and a more detailed scan with a consultant.

Has anyone has this before? Positive and not so positive outcomes? Google is telling me that most babies with this problem will die before birth and to be honest I am petrified.

Thank you everyone.

OP posts:

offbeatgirl · 27/12/2017 07:33

Hello OP, I hope you got through Christmas ok and are holding up. The tablet blocks the hormones that supports the pregnancy. It made me feel pretty nauseous (I don't think it affects everyone that way, but useful to know so you can formulate a plan B if you don't feel up to seeing family).

Original poster

BeyondHope · 27/12/2017 18:54

Thanks offbeat. I took the tablet this morning and no sickness. I think my heart truely broke as I swallowed it. 2 years of trying and 5 miscarriages and I have to take a tablet to end a pregnancy. Life is so cruel and unfair.

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offbeatgirl · 27/12/2017 20:01

Yes, it felt awful to be the one to end a much wanted pregnancy - I almost bottled out of taking the tablet. But as I kept reminding myself, the only reason I was doing this was because the baby was not going to survive, and I wanted to spare her any pointless suffering by ending the pregnancy before she had any capacity to feel pain. I'm so sorry that you're having to deal with this having already suffered five miscarriages. I hope the hospital which is treating you can offer you some support afterwards

NotBurpeesAgain · 28/12/2017 16:50

I thought about you a lot over Christmas BeyondHope.
I think the tablet is used to start opening your cervix before labour is induced?
I cannot even say I hope everything goes well tomorrow - how can it possibly go well?
Try to take care of yourself. Life is unfair indeed.

Original poster

BeyondHope · 28/12/2017 20:35

Thank you. I'm sat here trying to pack a bag to take and I have no idea what to put in. I'm scared shitless for what's ahead of me tomorrow and the months to come after.

OP posts:

CuppaTeaAndAJammieDodger · 28/12/2017 20:41

I’m so very sorry. I hope tomorrow goes as smoothly as possible. I’ll be thinking of you

Bitsandbobsalot · 28/12/2017 20:50

I have no words that could possibly offer comfort but I’m so sorry I hope tomorrow goes smoothly for you and you’ve got lots of support round you. Be really really kind to yourself

gingerbreadmam · 28/12/2017 21:00

hi *beyond" I am so very sorry you are going through this.

My son was stillborn at 27weeks. We discovered it via a scan two days before.

You will go through a delivery so I would take a nice loose nighty. A sports bra if you have one. Nipple pads and maternity pads.

Random but you may want to think about snacks and food particularly for dp as it may be a long day and he won't want to leave you.

When I was induced with my son the pain built up slowly at first but then I was having almost constant contractions. This might sound really weird but in a way the pain is a great distraction as to what is actually going on. I completely zoned out from the fact I was delivering my baby who had already died.

Take anything you need for the pain. I had gas and air and morphine. I wish I had taken the morphine earlier.

With regards to baby you may want to take something he can keep with him that is from you. A very kind friend had two blankets quickly made up so he got one and I got another. I also took in a blanket we had bought to stay with him and cut pieces off for us and family.

Again I am very truly sorry. If you want to know anything else please ask.

I have had bad luck TTC so far too so you have my complete sympathy. I had a missed miscarriage that completely went wrong, then my son who was stillborn and also had a physical disability and when I finally braved trying again I had a difficult pregnancy which ended at 14+2 and tests revealed that baby had triploidy. It's totally shit.

Original poster

BeyondHope · 28/12/2017 22:18

Hi gingerbread. Thanks so much for your message and advice. I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your son and the other babies you have lost. It's just heartbreaking. I have a little blanket and a teddy bear for the baby. Washed and ready in the bag. That's a nice idea to get 2. I will get another one after to keep.

Did the morphine zone you out? I don't really want to feel out of control and not remember things.

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gingerbreadmam · 28/12/2017 22:25

In all honesty I didn't think the morphine did anything but my dp and DM who were with me said that I relaxed a little bit once I had it.

I delivered about 20minutes after starting the drip so I think I left it too late to be effective really but even so what I went through was bareable and hasn't put me off having another child. It hurts obviously but once you have delivered the pain instantly goes away.

When I knew I was going to have to do it I just kept telling myself it's just one day. I don't know why but it helped me to stay calm.

gingerbreadmam · 29/12/2017 18:08

Been thinking of you today op.

Original poster

BeyondHope · 30/12/2017 12:25

Thank you ginger. I gave birth to my beautiful boy yesterday at about 4pm. He was small but absolutely perfect. Everything was quite straight forward and my placenta came out easily afterwards. We went home a couple of hours later. I miss him like crazy which I know sounds strange. I could have held him for ever. The hospital are arranging a service for him so will give us a call with the details of when it is. I can't believe it's all over.

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gingerbreadmam · 30/12/2017 14:38

Oh you will totally miss him. Did you name him and would you like to share?

I'm glad you are home and hope you are surrounded by love and support.

If you need to talk or rant or just let out the heartache, we are all here for you. Sending lots of love.

Tedster77 · 30/12/2017 14:42

Oh bless you. Just to say I’ve been thinking about you xxx

NotBurpeesAgain · 30/12/2017 18:11

I am so sorry. Thinking of you and your little boy

offbeatgirl · 30/12/2017 19:25

I'm so sorry OP. You did everything you could for your little son. Please take care of yourself

Original poster

BeyondHope · 30/12/2017 20:00

Thank you. He's called Christopher. He's all I can think about. I literally ache for him and I never knew him. I've slept most of the day so haven't really been awake long enough to process anything.

Do you have any other children gingerbread?

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gingerbreadmam · 30/12/2017 20:41

How heartbreaking. That is a beautiful name for what I'm sure was a beautiful boy. Have you kept anything that smells of him? Can you keep it close by?

Have you had any contact with sands? They are an amazing source of support. I go to my local group and it is very helpful listening to.other people who have been through similar.

I don't. I had a second trimester mmc earlier in the year and haven't felt like trying again yet.

My son would be about 2.5 now. I think about him every single day and wonder what he would have been like but it doesn't hurt anywhere near as much as those early days.

gingerbreadmam · 30/12/2017 20:42

Also I remember it being particularly awful in the beginning. For that first moment when you first wake up you kind of forget. So soo hard.

Original poster

BeyondHope · 30/12/2017 21:38

I don't have anything. I wish I had asked for the knitted blanket they put him in but I didn't think. I have been given all the Sands leaflets and will have a look through them over the next couple of days. The bereavement midwife told me she would make contact over the next week so I might ask her of any groups. Not sure if it's too soon yet though to brave my tears in public.

It seems there is no end to our heartache. I hope you get your happy ending I really do.

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gingerbreadmam · 30/12/2017 23:48

Is there anyone you could ask to contact the hospital on your behalf? You may still be able to get the blanket if it would help?

If not maybe someone could duplicate it for you? It could bring some comfort. I don't know if you had got round to buying anything for Christopher but a lady at my sands group had her son's babygrows made into a beautiful bunny teddy with date of birth on.

I think you can find local sands support groups on their website. I didn't go to one until almost a year after I lost my son as I was unsure what to expect but I wish I had gone sooner. I don't know if going right in the beginning would have helped but I have found it a great support mechanism.

It's really not what I thought either. I thought we would be sat in a circle telling our story etc but it wasn't like that. You could speak or not. You never had to tell your story of you didn't want to.

It's a new normal. That's how I look at it. There will always be before Ds and after ds.

Original poster

BeyondHope · 31/12/2017 11:21

I think I find comfort in hearing other people's stories. Although I can't believe other people have to go through this it is a comfort to know I'm not alone. I might see how I feel in a few weeks time. It's all a bit raw at the moment and I barely have the energy to get out of bed.

I hadn't bought anything for the baby. We were waiting to get to 20 weeks before we started buying. The only things I bought for him were when I knew he wouldn't survive and they went with him after I had him. I just want him. And it's the only thing I can't have.

Ginger what was the name of your son? You are helping me so much having someone to talk to.

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gingerbreadmam · 31/12/2017 12:29

I would really think about purchasing the same stuff again just to keep.

Did you get a memory box? I have one and barely ever look in it but it is a comfort knowing his things are there if I want them. I have three photos printed, one of his face, one of his two teddy's which went with him and one of his perfect little hands. These are up in the spare room so that other people don't have to see them if they don't want to but I smile every time I see them.

He is i keep typing was which is totally shit so sorry called Lucas.

Keep talking. As you say talking to someone who understands may just be the best thing for you. I absolutely fucking hated people not acknowledging my son. Even stupid things like coming home and no cards or banners or balloons. He may not be alive but he's still my son and I'm still a mam and people should dance around it. That is the worst thing anyone can do.

Don't be afraid to talk about Christopher and don't be afraid about upsetting other people. You are living this and you have to do what feels right for you.

gingerbreadmam · 31/12/2017 12:30

should not dance around it

CuppaTeaAndAJammieDodger · 31/12/2017 12:42

Oh you poor love - have been thinking of you. I’m so sorry the birth of your little one was under such incredibly sad circumstances.

You talk about him as much as you want - he is your son and his life (even if it was fleeting) deserves to be recognised.

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