Page 2 | Medical termination question please.

Teaandtoast1 · 2014-05-08 16:34:05

Hi, I'm looking at the likely possibility of a medical termination next week. I've had a positive NIFTY test and am waiting an amnio - but I've been told there is very little hope. I will be 18/19 week when we terminate. This is my first baby so I don't know what to expect. My question is is there a chance I will tear - like I hear happens in most full term labours? Sorry if this is a silly question but my mind is in over drive. Thanks.

lostlove · 16/05/2014 01:18

Wishing you strength for today, Tea.

I've nothing helpful to add with regard to what to tell people as my situation was a bit different.

However, I'd agree that most people would be too tactful to press for detail; if anyone did, all you'd need to do would be to say you don't really want to talk about it and change the subject.

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Teaandtoast1 · 16/05/2014 08:14

Thanks lostlove.

Just sat here now waiting to set off to the hospital. Feel so nervous.

Just keep thinking about coming home tonight (hopefully) and it all be over (again hopefully)

Thanks xx

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Nessalina · 16/05/2014 14:03

All the best for today xxxx

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clairemiss79 · 16/05/2014 17:05

Thinking of you teaandtoast x

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lostlove · 16/05/2014 21:19

Hope you're back at home now but, if not yet discharged, at least comfortable in hospital.

Wishing you a restful night's sleep x

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Teaandtoast1 · 17/05/2014 17:28

Hi, I'm home now. They kept me in over night. My temp spiked so I've had to have a course of IV antibiotics. I'm just glad it's all over now. The midwifes were great. I didn't realise but they have a special room, it's like a little bedsit with a kitchen and a double bed so my husband could stay with me. I'm glad I took everyone's advice and took the diamorphine it helped a lot.

Thanks for your support. It made it easier speaking to people who understand it all. Xx

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Jellybellymummyofsix · 17/05/2014 17:36

My heart goes out to you & your dh.

Take care of yourself. Give yourselves time to grieve.

Keep posting, when I lost a baby last year MN helped me so much.

love & best wishes. X

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lostlove · 17/05/2014 20:05

I'm very glad to hear you were well looked after in hospital.

Make sure to rest for as long as you need and eat as much good food as you can manage; it's an intense experience, physically as well as emotionally.

I hope your DH is doing ok. As well as their own sadness, it must be so hard for partners, seeing us go through it.

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Teaandtoast1 · 17/05/2014 20:09

Thanks. It's really helped posting on here. You are right about DH, it's so hard for them too in a slightly different way isn't it. Love him to bits x

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Marma1ad3 · 20/05/2014 21:23

Hi, sorry you are in this position :( I lost my baby at 17.5 weeks in January. I tell people we lost baby, those I am closer to know the whole story (she had a diagnosis of DS).

My labour was fine actually, in a weird way was the calmest of the days at the time. We turned up at 8.30am and the MW gave me the first tablets and some cocodamol. This was repeated every three or four hours I think and baby was born at 6.30pm. Only once did I think it got painful and I asked for more drugs. No point putting yourself through more pain. I had morphine at about 4.30 as I'd reached the max dose of cocodamol in 24hrs I think

The bereavement midwife was just amazing. Truly amazing. I can't stress enough how much you can lean on them. I said we thought we wanted to see baby but weren't sure, she asked if we wanted her to talk baby away to check her over first and we said yes. It meant we didn't have to worry or be anxious at all. She brought baby in a beautiful hand knitted crib. We have hand and foot prints, and the crib, and we went to the service too though we didn't decide that until the day.

As I say, delivery day had a sense of calm about it. Mostly due to the MW tbh, I was a wreck.

But this is four months on and I can talk about her without falling apart. You will too x

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Marma1ad3 · 20/05/2014 21:40

Hi, sorry you are in this position :( I lost my baby at 17.5 weeks in January. I tell people we lost baby, those I am closer to know the whole story (she had a diagnosis of DS).

My labour was fine actually, in a weird way was the calmest of the days at the time. We turned up at 8.30am and the MW gave me the first tablets and some cocodamol. This was repeated every three or four hours I think and baby was born at 6.30pm. Only once did I think it got painful and I asked for more drugs. No point putting yourself through more pain. I had morphine at about 4.30 as I'd reached the max dose of cocodamol in 24hrs I think

The bereavement midwife was just amazing. Truly amazing. I can't stress enough how much you can lean on them. I said we thought we wanted to see baby but weren't sure, she asked if we wanted her to talk baby away to check her over first and we said yes. It meant we didn't have to worry or be anxious at all. She brought baby in a beautiful hand knitted crib. We have hand and foot prints, and the crib, and we went to the service too though we didn't decide that until the day.

As I say, delivery day had a sense of calm about it. Mostly due to the MW tbh, I was a wreck.

But this is four months on and I can talk about her without falling apart. You will too x

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Marma1ad3 · 20/05/2014 21:41

Sorry my Internet went daft so I've double posted x

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Teaandtoast1 · 21/05/2014 11:05

Thanks for your reply. I'm sorry that you had to go through that too.

The hospital and midwifes were amazing, I was really well looked after. We decided to not see the baby, for us it makes it harder. We will still never forget though and will always be a part of us.

Xxx

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Marma1ad3 · 21/05/2014 12:09

The choice is totally yours to make and you have to do what is right for you. I'm glad it wasn't too horrid. Be kind to yourselves xxx

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Medical termination question please.