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Antenatal tests

Get updates on how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy by signing up to the Mumsnet Pregnancy Newsletters.

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Original poster

I am likely to need to end this pregnancy over the next few weeks due to very early and complete rupture of membranes.

87 replies

Methe · 29/03/2012 09:08

Basically, I am 15+4 and on Friday at 14+5 my waters went just after having a laparoscopic cervical cerclage placed due to cervical incompetence. There is no fluid around the baby at all and although we are hoping for a miracle this is, realistically, unlikely to change. Without fluid the babys lungs will not develop and there is a likely hood of limb deformity not to mention prematurity an the risks this poses to my body.

I have had several scans and the baby is alive, I can hear it with my doppler and feel it from time to time too. The baby also appeared absolutely perfect :( I had been so excited about this pregnancy and am gutted beyond words that I am going through this again. My previous pregnancies we're both cut short by prom, at 30 and 22 weeks although thankfully both of by children are ok, despite being born prematurely. I have also had 4 miscarriages.

I just can't get it straight in my mind what is likely to happen. There is the (slim) possibility of the membranes resealing and the water re accumulating and as such we have decided to wait 3 weeks and see what happens. If after 3 weeks there is not an improvement in the amount of fluid then we have no option but to remove the stitch and induce labour. We are living in limbo :(

When you end a pregnancy at 17/18 weeks, what happens?

OP posts:

BadNails · 09/04/2012 17:47

:( In that case I'm sending you lots of spiritual hugs and hand holding x

wantingmore · 09/04/2012 17:59

i am so sorry for all you are going through. i have no experience of this but i will be thinking of you.xx

CiderwithBuda · 09/04/2012 18:04

Thinking of you and wishing you strength.

Bluetinkerbell · 09/04/2012 19:36

dear Methe I am so sorry you have to go through this!

I gave birth to DD2 last June after she had died around 17-18 weeks which was discovered at my 20 week scan. Slightly different situation than yours... but had to go through giving birth to her as well... if you have any questions still after talking to the bereavement midwife, please do ask.
We saw and held her for a little while and it was a good way for us to say goodbye. We had a full postmortem done, as we did want to know what had caused her to die.
My placenta had to be manually removed as well, didn't know that was quite common.
I had lots of morphine and G&A to get through labour, you can ask for any painkiller you like...

Please take care of yourself, it seems you are in good hands there in the hospital...
Will be thinking of you and praying! x

bluebump · 09/04/2012 19:52

Oh Methe I am so sorry you are having to go through this, i'll be thinking of you. I lost my first DS to PROM due to a blood clotting disorder I have (that was only discovered then.) I was 22 weeks and once born my DS lived for about 10 mins. If there is anything I can do please PM me.

Hpbp · 09/04/2012 20:57

Sending you lots of hugs, Methe

Original poster

Methe · 11/04/2012 12:04

My baby, Sam, was born last night at 2322 after an induced labour at 17+1. It was very small and infected so we couldn't tell what it was and we are not going to have a post morte so will probably never know for sure. I had to to and have the placenta removed in theatre so didn't get to bed untill 3. We are just waiting for the baby to be blessed. I'm going to be on hospital for another couple of days to finish the antibiotics. I feel so shit for my kids, this Easter holiday has been really awful for them :(

Thanks for all of the support, it's been very much appreciated xx

OP posts:

Bluetinkerbell · 11/04/2012 12:15

Dear Methe, lots of hugs for you! These next few days will be difficult to get through, but you will get through them... just take it minute by minute, do what you want...
I know you are worried about your other children, but they will understand and you will get stronger out of this all together!
Lovely name for a precious angel baby!
xxx

working9while5 · 11/04/2012 12:16

I am very sorry for your loss Methe x

SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 11/04/2012 12:20

Oh Methe. {{hugs}}

Charleymouse · 11/04/2012 12:42

Methe so sorry my love you and Sam and the rest of your family are in my prayers.
Much love
CM

Moominsarescary · 11/04/2012 12:48

Dear methe I'm so sorry for your loss x

Your history sounds similar to mine, although ds1 was late, ds2 was born at 35 weeks and ds3 at 32 weeks due to unexplained pprom. I had two mc inbetween.

I lost ds4 last September at 20 weeks due to incompetant cervix which started failing at 18.4, my waters broke at 18 + 6 after my stitch failed and was taken out. We induced after the babys feet became stuck in my cervix.

Take one day at a time, ssometimes it's an hour at a time. If you need to talk we will be here. Posting on mn and talking to people who knew how I was feeling realy helped.

Take care of yourself x

Combinearvester · 11/04/2012 14:04

Methe I'm sorry Sam couldn't stay with you, it is awful that and your family had to experience this loss.

The doctors were able to tell me the gender of my 18 week ish baby just on initial examination i.e. before the PM so it is just possible they may be able to tell you.

The combination of giving birth, blood loss, grief, morphine and v strong antibiotics can be very exhausting so make sure you have as much practical support as possible lined up for when you come home, I sent my Mum home after 3 days which was much too early in hindsight.

You may also want to think about what to do when your milk comes in / stopping this if this is something you haven't already spoken to the bereavement midwife about.

Hope the blessing for Sam brings you some comfort.

BadNails · 11/04/2012 16:10

Methe, I have been thinking about you often over the last couple of days. I will continue to keep you and your family in my prayers.

Sam is a good strong name. I also hope that the blessing brings you some comfort. The Bereavement boards are good here. Although I've never posted there, I visit when I'm missing lost loved ones.

Much love x

MoaningMinnieRisesAgain · 11/04/2012 16:12

So sorry Methe , I have been following your thread.

MimsyBorogroves · 11/04/2012 16:28

So sorry for your loss.

sybilfaulty · 11/04/2012 17:20

Bless you and your family Methe. So sorry for your loss. Thinking of you all X

Hpbp · 11/04/2012 17:39

Methe, I have prayed for you and your family and will keep on doing so. Sam will always be in your heart. Be strong. Lots of hugs

sybilfaulty · 13/04/2012 11:24

How are you feeling today, Methe? Still thinking of you X

Original poster

Methe · 13/04/2012 19:46

I'm ok, thanks for asking. I all feels like a nightmare at the moment and today has been horribly normal. I expect it'll hit me in a few days when the hormones have gone.

Sam was, we think, a girl and was about the size of my hand.. the midwife said she was huge for a 17 week baby. Delivering her was awful, induced labour is painful and it took about 5 hours from the first pill. She came out completely squashed in the sack in a ball on the bedpan on the toilet :( I knew this could happen but it's a horrible thought :( my cervix clamped shut straight away so I had to go to theatre to get the placenta taken out.

The next day we had a look at her and she was amazing and had long legs like her sister, my boy George had tiny legs like a frog when he was born. She had ears and hairs on her head and little fingers and toes. Her right arm was already suffering from a constriture because of the prom and her hand was up by her face - It looked to me that she might have been sucking her thumb. Sams intestines were on the outside of her body but we dont know of this is gastroschesis which is usually a one off or an omphaceale or exomphalos which can be indicative of further problems ( edwards turners or patau I think) until she has been examined by a pathologist. We declined a full post mortem but had said that she can be examined and have scans and they can take a skin/blood sample if they need to for genetic testing. I have to go back in 6 weeks for a lupus anticoagulant tests, to speak to foetal medicine and to see my surgeon about the stitch.

Sam was blessed at the hospital and will be buried in a joint childrens grave in a cemetery near where we live.

The Midwives at Birmingham womans were absolutely out of this world. I have never felt so looked after and feel blessed to have be able to choose to go there. My care ahs been truly exemplary throughout this whole horrid proces. We are so incredibly lucky to have our NHS.

OP posts:

Bluetinkerbell · 13/04/2012 21:48

Big hugs for you Methe!

I'm sure my little Sterre has found her playmate Sam already! x

Original poster

Methe · 15/04/2012 13:42

Thank you for the hug :) people in rl are really tiptoeing around me, it's getting on my nerves.

Everywhere I look there are reminders - my doppler, maternity stuff, seabands etc, it's so hard :(

OP posts:

Bluetinkerbell · 15/04/2012 14:33

hmm that's unfortunately what they do! I've had some really horrible things said to me! :(
Take it easy... those first days after giving birth are really tough! x

CiderwithBuda · 15/04/2012 14:40

I'm sure it is horrible at the moment. And will be for some time to come.

Come and vent away here. Always someone here to vent at or cry on.

mosschops30 · 15/04/2012 14:52

methe im so sorry for your loss.

Im just blown away by how much heartache everyone on this thread has been through, i dont know how you get through it and stay strong.

Lots of un-mn hugs to all of you who have bern through this, i cant begin to imagine it

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