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Antenatal tests

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Original poster

Terrible 12 weeks scan reults - cant stop crying.

48 replies

misty0 · 06/04/2011 08:57

I think i'm facing a termination. I'm 12+6. '12' week scan yesterday evening gave me a 1:3 risk of downs or another abnormality. Hospital is sposed to ring today to give me a CVS appt. asap.

I CANNOT pull myself together for more than 5 mins at a time - crying and crying. Got a family to sort out. Daughters birthday today. Meal out later ect. My partner is being lovely - hes gone to work this morning tho'. He needed to go, it's Ok.

I cant cope......never fallen apart like this b4. Usually very strong.

Any words of advice?

OP posts:

Snowdropfairy · 06/04/2011 09:02

No advice but didn't want to read and run.

(((HUGS))))

If its only a risk wait for the test, it might not be as bad as what your thinking.

Also a person with Downs can live a very happy and fulfilling life.

Original poster

misty0 · 06/04/2011 09:09

Thank you snowdrop

I've lifted my post from about an hour ago on 'pregnancy' (where i usualy lurk) and lots of ladies advised me to come here.

I know there is still a small chance of a clear result - but it didnt look good at all last night. I'm preparing myself for the worst as dp has said he's clear about not wanting to go ahead with the pg. if theres something wrong with baby - and i agree with him realy.....

Im just so exhausted with the shock and grief.

OP posts:

mummytime · 06/04/2011 09:10

I know lots of very happy Downs people. Ask for a referral to counselling.

eastegg · 06/04/2011 09:14

Don't have any experience of this myself but hopefully others will be along who know more than me. Please remember they've just given you a risk level at the moment and CVS will tell you for definite. On the stats at the moment you've got a 2 in 3 chance of it not being Downs. This must be horrible though. One thought - have they factored in the blood results yet? My hospital get the blood results immediately on the day of the scan but I know that that is not the norm. Anyway it sounds like they're sorting you out CVS either way - there'll be a bit of a rush on to do that simply because there's a short window in which they can do it. Best of luck with it.

catclarks · 06/04/2011 09:25

Hi misty, for what it?s worth, I went through the same thing almost 4 years ago now. After the scan I was told I had a 40% chance of there being a chromosomal abnormality. My whole world fell apart. I went ahead with the CVS and 4 years on I have a very healthy 3 year old. The obstetrician explained to me afterwards that the scans are notoriously inaccurate at detecting these issues. Unfortunately if there is even the slightest indication of any potential problem it has to be followed up but in the majority of cases it turns out that there is no abnormality. Easier said than done, but try and not worry too much until you know the results for certain.
Happy birthday to your DD . Hope she has a good day x

ghislaine · 06/04/2011 09:29

Hi misty

I wanted to give you a bit of reassurance about the CVS. It is very straightforward. You have a local anaesthetic to numb the injection site and then a sample is taken from the placenta (this needle is quite long). It feels quite crampy but doesn't really hurt. You'll need to rest afterwards and take it easy for a few days. They use ultrasound to guide the needle in (but you can ask them turn the screen away) and they will check the baby's heartbeat afterwards (again, you can ask them to turn the sound off if this distresses you).

Being told there is the possibility of something abnormal (whatever it is) with your baby is, I think, not something most of us face with equanimity. Your feelings of shock and grief are perfectly understandable.

I found Angry Birds my lifeline while I waited for the results. You should get the results for major trisomies within 2 days and the full genetic breakdown within 2 weeks.

Snowdropfairy · 06/04/2011 09:31

I'm sorry you are going thru this. There is nothing i can say to make it better.
I hope that you hear good news at the test.

You are thinking the worse and graving for your child. It might not come to that.

Original poster

misty0 · 06/04/2011 11:21

Thank you so so much for all your answers xxx

And thank you ghislaine about the cvs experience. I'd just started to worry about how painful it will be. I've not cried for nearly two hours now - so getting better ......

My CVS is at 9am tmrow. Hospital rang, they were very sweet.

MN has been terrific this morning. I would have still been in bits without you all xxxxxxxx

OP posts:

Jajas · 06/04/2011 11:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fimbo · 06/04/2011 11:34

My friend was told the same sort of thing after a scan. Now I am not exactly sure but from memory I think the CVS could have been inconclusive, as I say I can't remember for sure. I do remember her being monitored all throughout the pregnancy though. Her baby was born with absolutely nothing wrong with her at all. The baby is now 7 and in the regional gymnastic squad!

catclarks · 06/04/2011 19:20

Misty, hope you get on ok tomorrow. Will be thinking of you x

katiecubs · 06/04/2011 21:05

Good luck for tomorrow misty - i've had cvs and it honestly didn't hurt much at all - just felt a bit odd. I hope you get the all clear but if you don't, don't let anybody influence your decision, do what is right for you and your family xxx

mrsbigz · 06/04/2011 21:34

just wanted to say good luck for tomorrow. i had the amnio which is a similar procedure to the cvs and i too am notoriously bad with needles and any pain, and i can honestly say it didn't hurt, just felt a little strange and uncomfortable.

i do hope that your results come back clear, however like katiecubs, if there is a problem the decision is one only you and your partner can make, don't let anyone pressurise you into anything - your situation is unique and you make the right decision for you and your family xxx

manitz · 06/04/2011 21:46

Hi Misty
good luck with your cvs tomorrow. I was in a similar position in autumn and my partner shared your partner's view. I agree with katiecubs that you need to do what is right for you and your family and dont feel pressurised by anyone. I am so sorry you are going through this.
x

BadRoly · 06/04/2011 21:50

My experience with CVS was that it was unpleasant rather than painful. And I think the unpleasantness was down to my thoughts about it rather than the actual sensation. My son (4th child) was found to have no genetic abnormalities but he has got heart defects. However he is a thriving almost 2yo and no one would know unless we told them (or they listened to his rather unusual heart beat!). Good luck tomorrow x

Sparklies · 07/04/2011 12:54

Hope all goes well today and you don't have to wait too long for results. I am sorry you are having such a hard time and hoping very much you get a great outcome.

Original poster

misty0 · 08/04/2011 08:56

I've sat and read through all your answers - thank you all so much xxxxx

My partner just asked me what i'm typing, and then read right through this thread as well. He knows i get alot of support from here and i read some of it out to him sometimes, but he has never read through any of it himself b4. I think he's now gained some comfort from all your good wishes and poitive stories too. So double thanks ladies.

I had my CVS yesterday at 9am bang on time at the JR in Oxford and all the staff were lovely. The procedure was horrid - but not painful exactly. Just got to wait now. I've had some cramping and 'vaginal leaking' of amniotic fluid - great - not alot though. They've said theres nothing i can do about it anyway but sit still for another day ..... not my style. Oh is being great though.

If they cant phone us with the results to us by late this afternoon we will have to wait till Monday I've found a weird numbness in my emotions which is quite comforting ... dreading the phone call. Dreading all the tears and hurt starting again. sigh.

mrsbigz i remember reading your post when you had just had your scan. It moved me so deeply - and i've been following your story when i can. you sound so much stronger now - well done, and thank you

Thank goodness for MN !

OP posts:

Trickysue · 08/04/2011 11:30

So glad yesterday went ok for you - Im 100% with you and the cramping ( a little shocked at how pants I felt last night but am taking it easy after our amnio yesterday - relieved its over but like you dreading the call - I am hoping they will ring today but knowing my luck it will be Mon.

Fingers crossed we will both get the results we want xx

Dammyoucomfortzone · 08/04/2011 12:12

Please get in touch with antenatal results and choices, they can give advice to regardess of outcome and regadless of what you decide to so.

If you google ARC they will come up and they have a help line you can call in office hours.

All the best

Yaya70 · 08/04/2011 14:01

Hi misty, I'm so sorry you're going through this worry. The wait for results is a horrendous time. I totally fell apart when we were told that our little one had a 1:2 risk of Down's syndrome, so don't beat yourself up about feeling upset.

Fingers crossed you get the results today and it's a clear result. Please do let us know how you get on. x

Particles · 08/04/2011 17:25

So sorry and fingers crossed you got the results you wanted.

Original poster

misty0 · 08/04/2011 18:23

Ladies this will be the 4th time i've tried to send this now - so forgive me if i sound a little blunt....it's getting shorter every time ....

My results came through earlier - not good. My baby has Downs. I'm going in for a termination on Monday morning. I feel strangely numb. My lovely Oh is struggling suddenly and finding this very hard.

I am still reading all your messages - so much support, thank you all xx

trickysue EVERYTHING crossed for you love

OP posts:

ShowOfHands · 08/04/2011 18:26

I am so, so sorry misty. I've been here but not knowing what to say to you.

Is there anything you want/need to know? Anything practical about the procedure? Anything at all, any question you have when lying awake at 3am, you can ask it on here without fear.

You are grieving for a whole life you had planned, not just these weeks of pregnancy. And you do that in whatever way it takes you.

I'm so very, very sorry.

Trickysue · 08/04/2011 18:40

Oh Misty I am so sorry to hear your news and thinking of you and your OH. I so wanted it to be better news - you have to do what what is right for you and be kind to each other. I wish I could wave a magic wand for you and make the pain go away. Be strong and remember we are all here for you - will be thinking of you so much on Monday. Biggest hugs ever xxx

I have a message to call the scanning coordinator but think they have gone home - keep replaying the message to see if I can tell from the tone the result but think the likelihood is I will have to wait until Mon.

ghislaine · 08/04/2011 18:43

Misty, I'm so sorry. You've had your world turned upside down in the space of a few days. When you feel ready, or if you want to, the lovely women on this thread will be able to help you through the days to come. Thinking of you and your DH.

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