Baby blues this early?

[3yearstrying]

Hi all, im sure im not alone but just need to vent...

My newborn is 7 days old, he was very much wanted and tried for but i cant shake this feeling the last few days of regret...? I think?

I love him to bits and will do anything for him but i cant help but miss life before already, is this normal?

Like i really miss my partner, although he has been amazing i miss our time in bed at night chilling out together which isnt the same now baby is here, i miss being able to leave the house without thinking of someone else

Am i being stupid and should just suck it up or can anyone relate and tell me it gets better?

LO is sleeping well in the day but between 5pm and 11pm he is so unhappy and will not settle, then he wont sleep in his next to me crib for longer than 30 minutes

Please say this passes and i will enjoy being a mum because right now i hate it

Thank you

The first few weeks are so incredibly tough, it's a massive adjustment for you plus learning about a baby and their likes/dislikes.

It might be worth reading about the fourth trimester to give you some context about what to expect if you haven't already.

The evening crying is very very common and in a lot of cases it improves. It is a bit early to say if there might be something more than just newborn evening crying but if the crying doesn't improve and you become concerned about weight gain especially, have a look at the symptoms of silent reflux. It could be that, also worth checking for is tongue tie - more of an issue if breastfeeding and you might need the help of a breastfeeding counsellor or lactation consultant to diagnose and resolve. Midwives don't seem to be that aware / helpful about it in my experience.

But it does get better, honestly. Possibly not for a while and then there's other challenges like sleep regressions and development leaps, oh and teething...... But it does get better. Hang in there. X

It absolutely does get better. But it is completely reasonable to feel as you are: having a baby is a massive change to your life and the grieving process for what you have given up is real. It’s harder to deal with when it’s new and you are sleep deprived and still knackered from pregnancy and giving birth, and your baby cries a lot. Be kind to yourself and take it an hour at a time. Speak to health visitor / doctor about concerns re baby crying and your MH; better to express worries than leave it later than you need. When your baby smiles at you it becomes much easier, but I found the first few years an absolute slog. I couldn’t imagine my life without them now, but it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Hang in there x

BTW: the “slog” changes; and more sleep, less crying and lots of smiling starts to appear from 6 weeks and by 16 weeks there was lots I was loving about it too! Didn’t want to frighten you with years of slog (!) but also not to say “oh it’s easy from x” which I was told when I had twins and just wasn’t true. Hang in there x

Hang in there OP. As PPs say the first few weeks are TOUGH
My second boy has just turned 7 weeks and I feel like a little bit of the torture fog is lifting ever so slightly.. I was really miserable as well the first 6 weeks. All he did was scream at me and to be honest I was worried I was starting to really resent him.
But then we get into the swing if things a bit more, he wakens up more, the wee smiles and eye contact is starting etc..

The evening withing hours are still a thing but ie also realised that he’s exhausted by then and have started putting down to bed.

it does get easier in ways, and harder at times. Babies are always moving the goal posts to be honest!

just take each day as it comes. You will bond eventually and that love will click into place I’m sure of it.

Sorry nobody saw this when you needed. Hope you are feeling better? There was another very similar thread recently with some useful replies www.mumsnet.com/talk/parenting/4562306-i-hate-my-life-newborn-is-4-weeks

I felt exactly the same. I remember crying the first weekend i had DS as felt like I'd never have a lazy breakfast again. A friend told me age cried every time her cat walked past as it reminded her of her old life. It gets a lot easier and you will adjust.